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I have a reputation of being quite blunt here on this ol’ blog! Between pregnancy and postpartum drama (my own), I’ve always kinda owned the disaster that can be life. And one day night, in the midst of pregnancy insomnia, I started comprising a mental list of things I wish I had known before getting pregnant 5+ years ago.
This isn’t a guarantee, but with both of my previous pregnancies I leaked colostrum well before there were any signs of labor. With my first baby I started leaking at about 36 weeks — so a good month or so of leaking colostrum. But with baby number 2? I started leaking — and not just leaking — tons of colostrum at 20 weeks. TWENTY WEEKS. Guys. That’s only halfway through the pregnancy! I mean, I would wake up from a night of sleep, completely soaked.
The first time it happened I googled to see if it was normal (it is) and was in complete shock. Who knew?? I certainly did not. I’m not certain if it happened earlier the second time around because my body was used to producing, but it seemed far too early for anyone to benefit from that level of colostrum.
Luckily, with this third pregnancy, it hasn’t happened — yet.
You will have the craziest, most vivid dreams of your life.
One of my earliest signs of pregnancy with both of my children was having very, very, vivid sex dreams. No joke. The first time it happened (just weeks into my first pregnancy), I woke up… surprised. Ha! That’s the best word to describe it I suppose.
It doesn’t just end there, however. You’ll also have crazy realistic dreams about the strangest things in your life. Some will feel like nightmares, but all will leave you seriously confused. Hormones just do that, y’all.
All of the drool!
Oh, hi, extra saliva! In addition to my bedsheets being soaked from colostrum, my pillow will be soaked from excessive drool. Hooray!
That extra saliva, called ptyalism, can also be the culprit of morning sickness. However, if you’re lucky it will just be a pain to wake up to.
Prenatal hair growth is for real. You’ll end up with hair in places you’d never thought of before — like all over your tummy. Which is fun, because the first time you’ll notice it will be at an OB appointment. And your cheeks will blush with embarrassment because, well, when did you turn into a monkey, right??
But it happens to all of us. Thanks to those pesky things called, you guessed it, hormones! Just roll with it and keep your razor handy. It’s all you can do!
Lightning Crotch.
No, don’t laugh. This is an actual term. And the first time you experience it you’ll think, “What in the world was that!?” Well, it feels like sharp pains inside of your cervix/vagina — and they will stop you in your tracks.
It honestly feels like a shot of intense pain (hence, lightning), and it happens randomly and is completely normal. If you’re concerned, ask your OBGYN about it. They’ll actually tell you, “Oh, that’s lightning crotch.” Or, as my OB calls it, “the LC.”
Did you not know there was such a thing as taking a satisfying pee?? There is. And you will pray for it during the last half of your pregnancy.
There’s nothing worse than the incessant need to pee, and then going, but it not feeling like you’ve emptied your bladder. Sure, if you’ve never been pregnant this sounds silly; but it can feel like torture. Straight up… torture. And it’s just something you deal with.
This isn’t to say that all of pregnancy is bad or miserable or awful. I just wish someone in my life would have talked more honestly about pregnancy and motherhood. No, I’m not talking about the naysayers and doom-and-gloom folks who say “Sleep now cause you’re never gonna sleep again!” I’m talking real-deal, nitty-gritty, raw honesty of all of it.
If you’ve been pregnant before, what would you add to the list??
Pregnancy is so weird- postpartum too! Your body does some crazy, amazing things!
My experience was the opposite of yours (#1). I wish someone would’ve told me that some women don’t have their milk come in until later. I felt like a total failure.
A good round up there… some I hadn’t heard of. This – years after children.
Maybe I missed some of it!?
Oh, God. I knew I never wanted to be pregnant…
Extreme, extreme tiredness in the first trimester. Horrible charlie horses. Ankles swollen to tree trunks. Insomnia. But I also had clear skin, beautiful hair, and an even mood and I miss those things lol. Plus the beautiful kids you get in the end make it all worth it!
Yes! I have restless leg at night and pregnancy insomnia!
I’ve never been pregnant before so this was all news to me!!
I’m not one to dream much at night, but holy moly did I have crazy dreams during my pregnancy haha they were always so vivid and intense. But I never had any of these other issues during my pregnancy haha
Oh my gosh the extra drool… I totally forgot about that! 😀
As I was reading through this it brought back many memories of my three pregnancies. I can laugh about them now, at the time not always.
OMG I laughed so hard reading this!!! I can’t believe I never heard about Lightning Crotch! Feels like I was pregnant forever ago, but I definitley remember those vivid dreams and drooling!!!
I would of never guessed that you have crazy dreams!!
So many things to look forward to with pregnancy! Thanks for your honesty and all the details!
Lightening crotch is a real thing! I also actually really miss my pregnancy dreams. They were a good time.
Ugh the lightning pain is for real!!! Never again. Great list though!
These are so true, pregnancy is no joke!!
These are good to know!!
Lauren
Ha! I laughed out loud at the “LC” Too funny because it’s so true. I also hated all the peeing. I never leaked, but I wish someone would have told me how big and crazy looking your nipples will get too. I love the honesty of this post!
Thank you so much for being this real!!!!! And it’s true! Nobody tells you this!!!!!! I laughed really hard at the extra saliva part! Lol! Wonderful post and so honest and real! Loved it!
I needed this post 9 years ago with my first!! SO much truth!!
Haha! These are all so true! Oh, the joy of pregnancy!
This is so interesting! I’ll be trying this year for kids and I had no idea any of this could happen.
Pregnancy was terrible for me, I had HG so the morning sickness was all day and I puked up until the end and during labor.
Some of these are hysterical- can unfortunately so true! Thanks for sharing!
These are so true! Oh, man I don’t miss that! haha Great list!
All of this is so true. Haha!
So much truth being spoken here! I have two and that’s it for me! Thanks for the share!! XO
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