weekly mantra //

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I’d like to report that over the last couple of weeks my health has taken a dramatic turn for the better… but instead, it’s gotten even worse. My ‘morning sickness’ is being treated with 3 different medications at the same time, and I’m still throwing up an average of 3 times a day (on a good day). Luckily I’m not losing weight (I like to think that’s because when I can eat, I’m eating things that make my belly feel good — like carbs & eggs & other protein). So the doctors are not worried that I’m unhealthy, per se. It’s just been a life-altering experience.

I’m not myself. I can barely function to get off the couch/out of bed, let alone deal with a crazypants of a toddler. Or make it through a work day. Sigh. Luckily I have the worlds most understanding (and patient) husband. But we definitely both want our normal lives back.

So this mantra today really struck me. I’m not “god won’t give you more than you can handle” kind of girl. But this perspective — THIS! — this one speaks to me. I’m hoping the end of feeling less than human is near. I’m not counting on it, but my fingers are crossed.

And like I told Chad recently — the only reason I am *this* OK is because I know that all of this isn’t for nothing; it still beats the alternative of not being sick and NOT growing a baby. So that’s why I’ll take it. But GOSH it has brought me to tears a time or two (or 700).