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I feel like I’ve posted this story already, but back by popular demand, we have what I refer to as… the Target Lady story.
I apologize if you have heard this story before, but it’s funny enough to read again so just deal with it.
My friend (we’ll call her Agg) and I went to Target shortly after I moved back to Ohio (about two and a half years ago) late one Friday night. We went to dinner or something and she had to stop at Target to get a couple things off of two different bridal registries. I went. We chatted. We shopped. We were in no particular hurry at all.
It was nearing Targets closing time, so we made our way to the check out area. There were only two registers open and no one in line. So we stepped up to the empty register.
We were greeted by a woman who was easily in her nineties. She had a nametag on and underneath her name it said “trainee.” No biggie. We didn’t mind.
So the cashier starts checking out our items, which were on two different registries. The cashier scanned the registries. It wouldn’t come off the registry. She tried again. Still nothing. So she called someone over to help her.
Meanwhile, another lady steps in line behind us (we shall call her Bee). While the second cashier is helping the older trainee (who still has no luck), Bee starts huffing and talking under her breath.
I continue chatting with Agg… I can’t remember about what. And Bee just starts screaming “Are you going to take all f*in day? This is unbelievable! HURRY UP! God *bleep* what is taking so long!?!?” I couldn’t believe she was freaking out at this poor little old lady cashier.
And without even hesitating or skipping a beat.
I turned to Bee and
said screamed, “Yeah, we are going to *beepin* take all night, do you have a problem with that, whore??”
And another woman, let’s call her Miss Nice, was in another line and started screaming at Bee as well! So here we are screaming at Bee and meanwhile the old sweet cashier lady has no idea that any of this is happening (just to give you an idea of how old she was–no joke, had no clue).
Bee is dropping F*bombs so I started dropping more…
Bee walks to the other line and continues to yell so I yell back…
“You’re such a b****! Your children hate you and your husband doesn’t love you anymore!!”
Ummm yeah… I said it. And she was there alone. And that shut her up.
So I have no idea where it came from or why I said it but I was shaking by the end of this altercation.
People think this is funny and I still get pretty heated when I think about this.
So that’s target lady story.