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thoughts

unintended lessons for my toddler // AKA thanks, random stranger

December 22, 2015 by Rachel 2 Comments

Dear Old Cranky Woman at the Cable Store:

I wanted to say thank you for reminding me that while everyone else I ran into yesterday was sweet and kind, there are still people who will be bitchy to strangers for absolutely no reason.

While Ari and I were minding our business, waiting our turn, you decided to ask my shy toddler a series of questions. Easy questions, yes. Like, “How old are you?” to which, he responded, “free.” Which is shy toddler speak for “three.” After he politely said hello to you and answered your serious of questions, I repeated what he said, for clarity purposes (I recognize that young parents are generally the only people who can properly translate toddler speak… plus he was being shy so it was a near whisper).

After you asked a series of other questions, you said “Maybe you can answer instead of MOMMY doing everything for you.” I ignored you. ‘Cause ain’t nobody got time for that. And? See above.

But when my very well-behaved toddler asked to watch a movie on Mommies phone (after waiting patiently in his stroller for 15 minutes without so much as a peep), I decided to abide. I pulled up the sweetest and most educational show on Netflix, Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood. Another patron noted that her niece loves Daniel Tiger! I told her that we’re watching the episode about Daniel getting a new baby sister, in hopes to prep him for ‘the big change.’

Dear, dear, old lady… this is where you piped in, “I don’t think he’s going to care about his sister when he has all the TV to watch!”

Dare I say it, but oh-so-typical, old lady judgy talk… just days before Christmas, at that! YOU, dear lady, are the exact opposite of the person I try to be everyday.

And although I owe you ZERO explanation, here is what you DID NOT see:

  • My 3-year old has a cough from his Reactive Airway Disease (aka toddler asthma). He’s not been sleeping well; thus, his parents have not been sleeping well.
  • Despite his cough (and his Mommy getting only 2 hours of sleep), we both awoke at 7am to tackle the day.
  • The very well-behaved toddler you saw had already endured a trip to the grocery store and a doctors appointment without so much as a peep! That was two hours before our encounter.
  • This was the single errand I was dreading, since it was to my former employer (albeit, not the location I worked) and I had just been “let go” several days prior, at 35 weeks pregnant.

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So thank you, mean old lady. You served as an example for my child; an example of how rude and condescending a person can be; an example of how NOT to behave to strangers.

Lucky for you, I just brushed our encounter off without a word. Because, let’s face it, you would have thought my behavior to be “typical” if I had said anything rude to YOU. Right? “Typical young person being rude to the elderly.” But no. No, that’s not the case. Let’s just call it the Christmas spirit. Or lack of fight. Regardless, I hope whatever miserable existence you have for this week is nothing like our encounter. If it is, I feel very sorry that that’s the kind of life you lead.

Sincerely,

A stranger with a lot to be sad about, but the one you see with a smile. Also known as The Mom who is doing a damn good job.

Filed Under: #MomLife, Ari Davis, children, Christmas, family, gratitude, holidays, inspiration, karma, life, life with a toddler, mommyhood, Moosh, opinions, optimism, parenthood, pictures, the world, thoughts Tagged With: #MomLife, ari davis, being a mom, children, Christmas, family, holidays, inspire!, karma, life, life with a toddler, mommyhood, Moosh, motherhood, optimism, parenthood, pictures, thoughts

i am my own worst enemy // but it will all be okay

September 23, 2015 by Rachel 1 Comment

Sometimes I get in my own head. I start to panic because it’s pretty much the worst place to spend a significant amount of time. I am THE BEST at doomsday scenarios, in every facet of my life. Seriously. I can jump from nothing to worst case scenario in 2 seconds flat. It’s a horrible feeling.

So when I play “worst case scenario” over and over again in my head, I literally have to talk myself off that proverbial ledge. I’ve been extremely stressed during this pregnancy. In addition to the major sickness, I’ll just burst into tears because this is not how life should be. And I’m missing a lot of work because of it. And that has me stressed out, like, beyond words. I just feel like none of this should be this way right now.

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But wasn’t I just preaching in my mantra for this week (which, I’ll admit, is more for me than anyone else), that worrying just sucks the joy from today? Yes, yes I was.

Regardless of the many of the several doomsday scenarios I think of, I will be OK!

… I will still be alive.

… I will still have my health.

… I will still have this baby in my belly.

… I will still have my husband, who very much loves me.

… I will still have Moosh and his relentless toddler love.

… I will still have a roof over my head.

… I will still have food on the table, morning, noon and night.

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In the same way that I can be my own worst enemy, I am also good at talking myself off the anxiety ledge. And if I just can’t manage to do it, I’ll reach out to someone who will do it for me. ♥

And everything will be okay.

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And yesterday, someone on the internet reminded me that we survive even our worst days. And it’s true. And if you need that reminder today, or if you know someone who does, I’ll leave you with my favorite quote:

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Filed Under: anxiety, babies, family, gratitude, health, life, life with a toddler, marriage, mommyhood, Moosh, Oh baby!, parenthood, pregnancy, sick, so grateful!, thoughts Tagged With: anxiety, babies, family, gratitude, health, life, life with a toddler, marriage, mental health, mommyhood, Moosh, oh baby, parenthood, pregnancy, sick, so grateful, thoughts

end of week mantra //

January 10, 2014 by Rachel Leave a Comment

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This is true in every situation.

There’s really no point in looking back.
You either end up missing those ‘awesome’ times
or you end up sad for what did or didn’t happen according to your plans.

That being said, I’ve also learned to not put too much thought into the future.

I could spend hours, days, lifetimes, planning for the next few months, several years, etc.

But then I would miss what is happening
right this moment.

And this moment is TEMPORARY, ya’ll!

Remember that when you’re making your next ‘life-changing’ decision.

Will it inevitably shape your life in some way?
Certainly.

But does it define you?
No.

It just gives a picture of who you are at this moment.
I’m trying to keep this in perspective
as I make some decisions over the next several weeks.
Not all change has to be good or bad.
Sometimes you need a change just to shake things up;
just to shake yourself out of a funk.

Your past doesn’t define you.

Your big decisions don’t define you.

Your life changes don’t define you.

Just stay in this moment.
Because the world needs you just as you are, where you are.

** Blog sidenote **

I have TWO giveaways going on right now so don’t forget to enter them!

First — Repreve Beanie Giveaway 

Second — Red & White On Thursday Night Tickets Giveaway!

Filed Under: changes, life, thoughts Tagged With: changes, life, thoughts

neurotic + overwhelmed

April 20, 2013 by Rachel 1 Comment

I’ve been completely avoiding social media this week. In times of crisis, I tend to shut down mentally + emotionally.

And this week was no exception.

I was overwhelmed with emotion. And thoughts. Oh, the thoughts!

My outlook has changed dramatically since Ari was born. I’ve always been the paranoid type, but something about the responsibility of caring for another human is unnerving.

For instance, a couple of weeks ago I was at the gym, working out, and the video feed I was watching on my iPhone went out. No cell signal at all. Zero.

My first thought was completely irrational — something had happened, like a nuclear bomb had hit the US and knocked out all cell signal.

Yes. That is the first place my mind went. Neurotic. I’m aware.

At this point in my life my biggest fear is something bad happening and not being with my baby.

Some days it’s paralyzing. I didn’t expect to feel so overcome with anxiety all of the time as a parent, but it’s my new reality.

I just want Ari to be safe. And if he isn’t? Well, then I want to be with him when the s*** hits the fan.

The reality check of this week made me count my blessings even more.

Each night after work, I picked up Ari and headed home; I kept my computer shut and just focused on spending time with my family — in savoring each moment with them; I [mostly] stayed off twitter, email, blogs and facebook. I just couldn’t stop hugging my baby.

I know I can’t keep my family completely safe. So instead I’m going to love them hard and hope for the best.

 

Filed Under: the world Tagged With: family, thoughts, tragedy

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