real talk Archives - Page 2 of 2

I created my blog years ago as a space and an outlet for me to share the happenings in my life with myself and a few people who may actually read it at the time. Over the years it transitioned from me being single and living in Syracuse; to Chad and I dating; to us living 6-hours apart and dating long-distance; then to us moving in together; and then to us getting married and starting a family.

Along the way it’s remained a place where I share my hopes and my dreams; my passion for creating a healthy lifestyle (while being completely honest with myself and the world about continuing to seek balance throughout the process); local events and happenings; and the everyday hum-drum of my life.

One thing that has changed over the last 7.5 years is opportunity. Blogging has created enormous opportunity in my life. I’ve met some incredible people in-real-life thanks to friendships created over the internet and social media — because I put myself out there. I’ve been around people from all different walks of life that I wouldn’t have met otherwise; and for that I’m incredibly grateful.

Blogging has also brought me a teeny bit of financial opportunity via sponsored and reviewed posts. And while that hasn’t quite been a life-changing amount of extra income, it certainly has helped. I don’t do them often and they seem to come in waves where I have months without an offer and then two at a time.

However, this is really and truly none of anyones business. In fact, the great thing about the internet and social media is that we are all free to share what we want. But we are also free to see what we want. We can follow whoever we’d like on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook; and we choose to follow those that we don’t align with. When you open a blog, follow a person on twitter, or engage in social media, YOU ARE PROVIDING CONSENT TO WHAT YOU ARE SEEING, whether you agree with the subject matter or not.

I received a nasty comment in regards to losing my authenticity of blogging with my recent sponsored posts yesterday. I have not yet approved the comment; but I’ve also not yet denied it. (Sidenote to people who leave fake or anonymous info: IP addresses don’t lie). It hurt. It shouldn’t have, but it did. The words didn’t exactly hurt; but the idea that someone would go out of their way to be nasty to another person? that is something that in my 30 years I have YET to wrap my head around.

Here’s the truth: I’m not always authentic. None of us are. But — dammit! — I try my hardest to do so. I put myself out there — the good, the bad, and the ugly parts that no one else has the balls to talk about. I’m a hard working mom. I’m a full-time employee for a huge company (to which I’ve been employed for the last ten years). I am a partner to my husband. We run a household together. And we try to work in some fun in our spare time. And in addition to that? I share parts of it here on my blog. Because each of us chooses what and with who we share things; each of us crafts an online persona; and that isn’t being inauthentic — it’s simply just a piece of our true selves.

So basically thanks for the perspective on my blog, commenter. 🙂

And forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair.
— Kahlil Gibran

The last two or three weeks have been a perfect storm for me. I’ve been stressed; irritated; anxious; and emotional. I’ve noticed that I’ve let things effect me physically, mentally and emotionally.

And it’s taken me a while to realize that so much of this is because of my overwhelming desire to be a people-pleaser. I’m constantly thinking “I hope this person still likes me/isn’t upset with me/etc.” with almost everyone I encounter in my daily life (seriously the other day at Target the customer service rep at the counter made me cry).

It is exhausting. And guess what?? I’ll never be able to say “Yep, everyone I came into contact with was pleased with me” at the end of any day. It’s just not possible.

It may have taken me 28 (nearly 29 years in just two short weeks! Eeek!) years to accept this, but I’m there. Or, rather, I’m here.

And I’ve got a plan. When I feel that urge to please creeping up on me, I’m going to step back and ask myself “How would this person not accepting of me effect my life?” It’s a simple question, but the answer may not always be. But at least it will allow me a few minutes to really contemplate these moments and to put things into perspective.

Also I am going to revisit placing my focus on what really does effect my life; one what is really important: myself, my husband, and our family. Really in the grand scheme of life, they are the people who matter most and they are the people I need to focus on pleasing. Because if I accept myself, if my husband accepts me, and if my family accepts me — that’s all I truly need.