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If I could wrap up this last month in one word it would be the following: bittersweet.

Bittersweet because over this last month Mila has changed dramatically. She’s no longer a squishy little baby that just eats, sleeps, and poops. Nope. Now she laughs, smiles, and watches her siblings play. She’s, like, a real human now! Ha!

But I’m sad because that was the last time I’ll ever go through the newborn stage. My last baby is already FIVE MONTHS OLD — and that just seems crazy to me. I want, terribly, to relive these days again, another time.

In the same breath, I’m really okay with moving on with our lives — away from newborn ‘things.’ I am looking forward to watching Mila grow into an even bigger little human. I can’t wait to see her continue to interact with her siblings (and me!).

Here’s what else we’ve been up to over the last month —

And apparently, she’s a fan of slapstick comedy. We found out by complete accident. The whole family was lying in bed when we playfully pushed Remy and she ‘fell’ back and laughed. Mila cracked up. Like, full-on belly laugh. It was hilarious so we did what every parent would do… we kept on ‘pushing’ the kids. And every single time, she would belly laugh.

This past month has been a whirlwind of appointments. We The first appointment was an echocardiogram at Akron Children’s Hospital. The technician let us know that there was nothing that required immediate attention and sent us on our way.

The second appointment was a dermatologist appointment at the Cleveland Clinic. These world-renowned doctors let us know that, again, while it’s odd that her hands and feet are still purple (a condition that should correct itself the first few weeks after birth), there didn’t appear to be anything causing it. At least not outwardly. I was asked quite a bit about whether or not autoimmune diseases run in our family (none to which I’m aware of), and we decided that if she still has this condition at her six-month well-visit, we’ll do a blood draw to test for things like lupus.

Just as I thought we were totally in the clear, I received a call from our pediatricians’ office. They called and said that the echo showed a hole in her heart and they wanted to refer her to a pediatric cardiologist at Akron Children’s Hospital. And, sigh, my heart fell. It wasn’t quite what I was expecting, but I knew that if it was anything serious, they never would have let us leave her echo.

So we saw a cardiologist and it was explained to us that 20% of all grown adults have this hole in their heart (from birth) and they may never be aware of it. She’s perfectly healthy, heart-wise — no murmur, nothing. In fact, she doesn’t even want to see us back! Hooray!

We’ll just be awaiting our 6-month well-visit to see if her hands and feet are still purple. That’s it!

We haven’t yet started on food or cereal. But we are still EBF (exclusively breastfeeding). She’s gaining weight, which is a good sign. Truthfully, I’ve never doubted my ability to nourish my children. But the fact remains — she was born my largest baby at 8 lbs, which means she ‘should’ be following a heavier growth curve than she is. But my children are small — they always have been. So I’m not surprised that she dropped off her original curve and she’s trending more like my first two babies.

We never used cereal or rice with the first two babies (personal decision), but I considered it this third time around. I haven’t ruled it out (yet) but I’m holding off until our 6-month appointment. From her specialist appointments this past month, I have zero weight worries. She gained and gained with every appointment!

We’ve been super hit or miss this last month. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t frustrated. She’s been doing an awful lot of cluster feeding lately (thanks to a growth spurt and teething), so there are many . nights where I’m basically pulling an all-nighter. And then other nights she seems to sleep for 6-hour stretches. It’s weird. I can’t find a pattern. I’m just hoping it levels off soon.

We’re technically still co-sleeping (same room, not bedsharing), but as soon as we’re in the new house she’ll be in a separate room. I know it will be an adjustment, but we’ll all be adjusting to our new home, so fingers crossed that helps.

I honestly cannot wait to spend this holiday season with my little (big?) family of 5. I’m finally comfortable saying “We’re good with three kids. Believe it or not, I was considering a fourth just a few months back. But now that we’ve moved into our new home, I’m ready to settle into our family as it is. I feel like this new house may be our fourth ‘baby’. Ha!

So for now, I’ll just be over here eating up this last baby stage. Ever laugh, every thigh roll, every breastfeeding punch, and every sleepless night… I’ll just eat it all up.