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Maternal Mental Health Matters: Quit telling moms they’re overreacting

February 9, 2021 by Rachel 12 Comments

I first became a mom 8 years ago. Before I became a mom, I had the perfect vision of what type of mom I would be. You know, the kind of mom that doesn’t yell, only serves their kids organic foods, and has zero temper. Well we all have plans on the type of parent we are going to be before we have kids. But kids have a way of humbling us. And as a ‘seasoned’ mom of three kids, I have advice for all of the advice-givers: quit telling moms they’re overreacting.

Maternal Mental Health is fragile

Did you know that one in 8 women experience postpartum depression? I did. Because I became one of those statistics. And it hurt me to my core to come to grips with this fact. I knew I was supposed to feel a tremendous amount of joy after the birth of my first child; but, instead, I felt an unimaginable anxiety and disappointment. And, while this might not be the case for every mom, we are doing all moms a disservice by pretending that any one stage in a child’s life is “easy”. Every single stage in a child’s life comes with its own set of difficulties and setbacks.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/FacebkFans/permalink/1857134487767439/

But, perhaps, a mom has a very bad infant stage or toddler stage. In those fragile moments, a mother may be at her breaking point. I myself have been there. She may be questioning if she can do this at all. Why perpetuate the myth that others are doing it (or handling it) better than us?

“You’ll miss this someday”

I cannot tell you how many times I was told this. By the grace of God I decided to have a second baby. Our first was so colicky and my postpartum anxiety was out of control; but we still decided on a second baby. My luck? Our second infant was worse than our first. Unbeknownst to us, she had been dealing with chronic UTIs from about 6 weeks to 9 months. She would scream (and, I kid you not) for 22-23 hours a day. That left approximately 1-2 hours of (broken) sleep in a 24-hour period. How does a newborn even survive on that? No idea.

Quit telling moms they're overreacting

But I will tell you what, I almost did not survive that.

In fact, I can vividly remember three times that I almost self-admitted to the hospital because of psychological issues. And, I don’t take that lightly. I was at least cognitive enough to realize, in that moment, that if I checked myself into the hospital, it would be a disservice to my child physically (she wouldn’t take a bottle).

But the suicidal ideation remained. Even through my existing anxiety and depression medication, motherhood had taken its toll. And I cannot tell you how many times I heard “someday you’ll miss this,” and thought about how I must be a failure — because I could not imagine missing this moment.

Whether its infancy or toddlerhood or adolescence, it’s all difficult

I recently engaged in a Facebook conversation on a mommy page (I know — that in itself is the problem). The original poster had created a poll — which is more difficult? The infant stage or the toddler stage. My initial gut-reaction was to answer the poll. Duh, infancy. And then I pulled back. I read the article in question. And, as I deemed this group an engaging and progressive group of moms, I decided to point out the obvious (to me) — this article is hella problematic.

First, it is entirely dismissive. I realize this was a tounge-and-cheek type of article. But, to quote the author , she slept — “Nevertheless, I felt clear-headed and was able to get good chunks of sleep both at night and during the day.” And a clear head is basically the key to keeping one’s sanity.

But one in 8 women don’t feel that way.

If you tell one of those women struggling to get up and take care of her baby that “she will miss this one day,” it may be the thing that pushes her to a breaking point. Suicide is one of the leading causes of death in new mothers.

And articles such as stated above — as well as the dismissiveness of others — can certainly compound on that feeling of hopelessness.

Please stop telling moms they’re overreacting

Here’s a thought — don’t tell anyone — not moms, not dads, not the lady at the grocery store — that they are overreacting. Let us all recognize that we are living a very narrow margin of the full spectrum of possibilities. If you wouldn’t tell someone with a physical ailment that they are overreacting, don’t say it to someone who is (potentially) suffering from a mental ailment. Period.

Filed Under: health, mental health, parenthood, postpartum Tagged With: health, mental health, parenthood, postpartum

How to Host a Social Distancing End of Summer Cookout

July 26, 2020 by Rachel 32 Comments

Summer will be over before you know it, and what used to be a fun season of cookouts and fun summer hangouts has turned to waving to your neighbor from across the lawn. If you are looking for a fun way to celebrate the end of summer, you can still have a fun end of summer cookout, safely. Here are some tips to help host a social distancing end of summer cookout.

girl with american flag

Keep things clean and sanitized

If you are going to have a cookout where you will be sharing items and touching surfaces, you want to make sure that you are keeping things clean! The main reason for social distancing is to reduce the number of germs being passed around, so ensure that you are keeping your areas clean and sanitized often. Have sanitizing wipes readily accessible, and don’t forget to wash your hands often.

purple and blue wine

Seat in sections and grab food in rotations

If you are serving food, make sure that you spread out seating and implement food rotation areas. This should help prevent contact between others and still allow you to talk to one another without shouting! Try to avoid sitting too close to each other and take advantage of your full yard or block if you live on a less busy street. It may not be the best option for every situation, but you can still have a decent celebration this way!

man cooking on grill

Bring your own food and supplies

If you want to avoid cross-contamination, bring your own supplies. This includes food, drinks, and whatever else you will need. While it’s not as fun to have everyone bring their own supplies, this can keep people from getting sick from contacting another person’s stuff. Having everyone bring their own things could end up being the best option if you’re feeding a lot of people. Just make sure that you still keep your distance from each other, even if everyone brings their food and supplies.

flowers with pie

Get single-serve materials for serving, drinking, and more!

Single-serve options are not usually an excellent idea for the environment. In this case, they could be lifesaving! Encourage people to use canned sodas instead of a 2 liter and avoid contact hot spots. Encourage the use of disposable products and single-serve items that don’t require you to wash afterward.

Move to the front yard

Normally cookouts take place in the backyard huddled by the grill, but instead, bring your cookout to the front yard! Have all your neighbors sit in their yards and enjoy cookouts together! Each person can make their own dish, and you can still be near each other even if you can’t sit right next to them. You can also play fun games that don’t require you to be near each other or play contact games. 

While nothing can replace the fun of standing next to your neighbors and friends to celebrate the end of summer, hopefully, this will help ease the pain of not being able to hug your loved ones from afar!

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PIN ME - How to Host a Social Distancing End of Summer Cookout
PIN ME - How to Host a Social Distancing End of Summer Cookout

Filed Under: health, live happy, summer, tips + tricks Tagged With: health, summer, Summer Bucket List, tips + tricks

How To Save Money on Everyday Essentials

May 6, 2020 by Rachel 23 Comments

This post is sponsored by Optum Perks but the content and opinions expressed here are my own.

It’s hard to believe that I have been “laid off” from my job for going on 7 weeks now. The job that, over the years, became my happy place — has been missing from my life for nearly two months. As things have changed rather dramatically for all of us, I’m finding new and inventive ways to pinch pennies.

Saving Money on Essentials Can Be Easy

I made a lot of changes in these last 7 weeks. Surprisingly, most of them were incredibly easy! Here’s what my family is doing to cut down on our every day expenses.

Shop at discount grocery retailers.

Going to the grocery store is unavoidable. For my family, we are making far fewer trips than before — but we’ve also made the decision to use grocers that offer off-brand or discounted groceries like ALDI and Save-a-Lot. We still are getting the same quality fresh foods, produce, and non-perishables, but we’re doing so at a much lower cost.

Cancelling Unnecessary Subscriptions.

There was a time when we had a cable TV subscription, Netflix, Hulu, and Amazon Prime. Honestly, we’ve never had that much time to watch TV. So we have trimmed up our TV subscription services by cancelling our live-television services and picking one of the online streaming services.

This can go for many types of subscriptions like a grocery delivery service, music streaming service, and even beauty boxes.

woman with laptop gif

Using Optum Perks to Save on Prescription Refills.

Prescriptions are another ‘unavoidable’ cost, but there are brilliant ways of saving cash when it comes time to fill or refill! Savings reach up to 80% with no membership and no fees!+

Prescriptions saving is easy. You just search, find, and save without ever having to enter personal information or data in. Optum Perks can be used at over 64,000 pharmacies nationwide, including Walmart, Walgreens, and CVS. Once you find the prescription and pricing, you can decide if you’d like the free coupon to be delivered by text, email, or by printing it out.

These prescription coupons can be presented to your pharmacist whichever way is convenient for you. So whether you’re using the drive-thru or picking it up in-store, your pharmacy coupon will be honored. Truly. That’s it.

I’ve been really open about my struggles with mental health, particularly since having children. As many know, I’ve relied mostly on my Lexapro prescription for the last 5 years. Usually my refills cost upwards of $20. By using Optum Perks I’ve been able to fill it at the rate of $9.00! That’s an eleven dollar savings! While it may not seem like a lot, with a family of 5, every bit helps.

You can see for yourself by heading to Optum Perks today and finding out just how much you can be saving on the prescriptions you need for the whole family.

Putting Memberships on Hold.

If you look at the number of items that are auto-deducted from your account each month, what would you see? For me, it’s our family gym membership, zoo membership, and my auto-renew of my coffee card. While these memberships are handy and even affordable in times of employment, they can be detrimental to savings when going through financial hardship.

Most memberships will allow a ‘hold’ or ‘break’ for anywhere from one to 6-months. And it’s usually as simple as giving them a call or shooting their customer service team an email.

These Adjustments Do Not Have To Be Permanent

If there’s one thing that I’ve learned in these last couple of months it’s that I am capable of much more than I previously thought I was. I’m the same girl who would grab coffee from Starbucks before work almost every day. But I don’t have to be. In fact, I’m amazed at how these small changes I’ve made in our spending have had such a tremendous impact on not only our pocketbooks, but our overall psychological well-being.

But knowing that at least some of what I’m doing right now is just temporary certainly helps. I may not stay away from my beloved coffee forever, but I can tell you that I will never go back to paying full-price for my prescriptions.

+Prices are subject to change over time

Tell me — what will you do with all of the money you save using Optum Perks?

Filed Under: #MomLife, busy mom, children, family, health, life, money saving tips, parenthood, tips + tricks Tagged With: #MomLife, busy mom, children, family, health, health and beauty, money saving tips, parenthood, tips + tricks

Why I’m Intermittent Fasting

January 30, 2020 by Rachel 36 Comments

PIN ME - Why I Chose Intermittent Fasting

I recently shared a quick Instagram Story about how I’d begun Intermittent Fasting and it spurred a lot of questions, so I wanted to elaborate on why I decided to start intermittent fasting.

Intermittent Fasting, or as it’s commonly referred to, IF, is cycling between periods of eating and fasting (restricting food). I’ll further detail the form of IF I’m doing and why below.

What brought me to Intermittent Fasting

I wish this was an easy answer, but it isn’t. After years of near-abuse to my body by restricting calories and over-exercising, I got pregnant with my oldest child. When I returned to work full-time, I was able to semi-maintain some balance with food and exercise without going overboard. But I never got back to my pre-baby weight or jeans size.

Fast-forward to one job-loss and two additional babies later, and I have basically spent the last 4.5 years as some sort of baby incubator or feeding-machine. It took a toll on my body, physically and mentally. I tried Weight Watchers, with some success, but I was still tired of limited results and calorie-restricting.

During my time breastfeeding babies over the last few years, my husband would mention intermittent fasting. He had success doing an 16:8 fast (fasting for 16 hours and having an 8-hour eating window). I couldn’t participate because I knew that doing this was not conducive to my milk supply.

Well I am happy to say that I am completely finished breastfeeding and will not ever again be pregnant. Hooray! This whole ‘finished nursing’ thing is relatively new and came as quite a shock to me. But when I sat down and thought about it I realized that it meant I could finally get back to feeling like ME (physically, emotionally, and mentally).

WHY DOES FASTING WORK

Seeing results in-real-life

About a year ago my mom started her Intermittent Fasting journey. I’ll admit, I was an almost immediate naysayer. I told her she was starving herself and that this practice of over 18+ hours of fasting was detrimental to her health.

But I watched her flourish. She never had much (if any) weight to lose, but she did tone and seem much more full of energy than before. I watched her break her fasts and her diet (meaning food, not the typical term “diet”) seemed completely unrestricted. She navigated the holidays with ease and zero stress.

So I asked her for more information. And she invited me to join this Facebook group she belonged to. Then I was hooked.

Delay, Don’t Deny

The Facebook group “Delay, Don’t Deny: Intermittent Fasting Support,” is based on the book of the same name, by Gin Stephens. Upon approval into the group, I tried to absorb as much knowledge from the participants as possible. After a few days of reading testimonials and questions from other members, I decided to listen to the audiobook Delay, Don’t Deny. It answered every question I had about the process.

Note: Gin Stephens, whilst having her doctorate, is not a physician, nor is she a nutritionist. But she backs up her book with data from scientists and nutritionists and puts it into laymen’s terms for the rest of us. I would like to also note that I am not a physician nor a nutritionist. For questions regarding your health journey, please consult your physician.

affiliate link

The entire premise of the book is as follows: Calories in/calories out is not a successful way to maintain weight loss. Science shows that prolonged fasting will train the body to enter ketosis. Ketosis, or the metabolic process in which the body burns fat instead of glucose for energy, happens naturally and gives our bodies the training they need to develop sustainable eating habits.

ACAI BOWL

This blew my mind. The science backs it up and I immediately felt free from all of the years I obsessed over calories-in, calories-out. Additionally, the idea of working out to ‘burn calories/earn food’ is basically discredited. Working out to be healthy, build muscle, or simply, for fun, is really the idea she explains in her book.

Clean Fasting

The idea is to do a Clean Fast, meaning that during the time you are fasting you are only consuming unflavored water or black coffee. No food or sugar-free drinks are ‘allowed’ during the fast because it will trigger your glucose and prevent your body from entering ketosis.

Breaking The Fast

Breaking your fast, or what Gin refers to as “opening your eating window,” happens at a time you deem right. During your ‘open window’ you shouldn’t deny yourself certain foods. Naturally, during appetite correction, your body will crave foods that are good for you. But if you want wine and french fries? Have wine and french fries! Diets don’t work because they require restricting ‘bad foods’ for long amounts of time.

This is a lifestyle change, not a diet

Another quick note regarding diets — If someone recommends a program you have to pay for (Keto Coffee, Faster Way To Fat Loss, Beachbody Shakes, or Herbalife Shakes), it is a gimmick. You don’t need any paid program to take control of your health and your eating.

After reading Gin’s book and fasting for two weeks now, I can say I’m committed to this lifestyle change. I haven’t had to give up the foods I love and I’m still getting almost immediate results. The scale is slowly moving in the direction I want it to, but I’m also experiencing increased mental clarity, clearer skin, and more restful sleep!

PIZZA WITH SALAD

I know you may be saying “but it’s only been two weeks,” and you’re right. But for the first time in my adult life, I feel FREE. Free from diet culture, free from restrictive eating, and free from anxiety regarding health and weight loss. Everyday I witness the transformations of people in this Facebook group and it encourages me that I am on the right path.

I realize that this can seem completely foreign for many people. Heck, it was to me for a very long time! But I am so excited to continue this lifestyle. I promise to keep you updated!

Do you have any questions for me?! Want to know what my typical fast looks like?!

PIN ME: Delay Don't Deny: Intermittent Fasting for the busy mom

Filed Under: #GetFit, #MomLife, brews + food, coffee, fitness, health, Intermittent Fasting, live happy, mental health, mommyhood, parenthood, wellness, workout Tagged With: #GetFit, #MomLife, brews + food, Delay Don't Deny, fitness, health, Intermittent Fasting, mental health, OMAD, wellness, workout

Easy Tips to Help Stay on Track This Year

January 14, 2020 by Rachel 30 Comments

This post has been sponsored by Distillata. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

Can you believe we’re about to open a brand new chapter in this book of life? A new decade is upon us and it’s hard not to think about goals for the coming year — or ten! As a busy family of 5, my priorities and goals are a little bit different. My goals aren’t as concrete as they were in the past, but they are attainable and sustainable for a busy family.

Health Tips

Drink all of the water.

We are huge H2O drinkers in this house. And I’m not just casually saying that. I mean that for the longest time my children did not know they could drink other things… like milk.

My biggest tip for getting your family to drink the appropriate amount of water is this — install a water cooler in your home from Distillata. Distillata delivers our 5-gallon water jugs at the intervals we choose. When I say we drink a lot of water, I mean a lot. We go through approximately FIVE 5-gallon water jugs every 4 weeks!

Boy getting water

Having a Distillata water cooler in our home has been a game-changer. The big kids can get their own water whenever they want, and that just means they’re drinking even more than they normally would!

jug of lemon water

Head here to check into having Distillata delivered to your home.

Take a daily multivitamin.

Newsflash: our kids don’t eat what we want them to. Do any kids? I mean, ours used to. But somewhere between two and 3-years of age, they started to get little minds of their own.

Where we lack in food nutrients we make up in the form of a daily multivitamin.

Keep moving.

I have gone through phases and stages in my life where I am always on the move and then never on the move. It’s hard to find a balance. For me, I have found instant accountability by wearing a fitness tracker. It’s like a game for me. I try to stay at the recommended move goal (which is usually 10k steps per day) and I despise breaking my ‘streak.’ It’s a great motivator.

Not every day is going to be a knock-it-out of the park type of movement day. And that’s okay. But the trick is to make a conscious effort to move more.

Life Tips

Stay organized.

As a busy mom of three, having a well-communicated schedule is key. I keep two schedules, the first of which is my Google Calendar. It’s easily accessed when I’m at home or on the go so I can keep track of all of our commitments, work, fun and otherwise. The second is a large wall calendar in our kitchen.

It may seem silly to keep two calendars, but I assure you this is key to keeping the whole family on-track. My husband can glance at our wall calendar and see exactly what we have scheduled on any given day.

Make life easier.

One of the best decisions I made for my family was to streamline whatever I could. I subscribed for services like Shipt, which helped tremendously when I was out of diapers and couldn’t take three kids out during a snowstorm. Or I would schedule grocery pickup with Curbside Express. Heck, I sometimes even subscribe to meal delivery services!

Mother and daughter cooking

But the real game-changer came when we started having our water delivered by Distillata. Prior to that, I would take all three kids to the store to fill up our two 5-gallon jugs of reverse osmosis water, carry them back to the car and in the house, only to have to constantly pour more water into our fridge container for easy dispensing.

Boy getting water

Distillata has changed the way we drink our water. I’m no longer going to the store, trying to manage filling up two jugs of water while fitting them in the cart with my kids. Our deliveries are scheduled every few weeks directly to our home. They take our old jugs away and leave us with four or five bottles of the same water I was struggling to get at the grocery store.

Work Tips

Focus.

Whether you’re a work-from-home mom like me, or a part-time employee, or a full-time worker, we can all benefit from having more focus. Personally, I struggle with wanting to attack all of my goals at once. That just isn’t feasible. Not for me, not for anyone.

I’ve found that by creating a to-do list based on three categories works perfectly. The first category is Must-Do’s. These are items that need to be tackled immediately. The next column on my list is Try-To-Do’s, and it’s exactly how it sounds. They should not be done before the must-do’s, but if I can get around to these items, then perfect!

The last column on my list is Bonus Items. These Bonus Items are things that are less of a priority at this moment (that doesn’t mean they are not a priority!).

Limit distractions.

I know so many people who get sidetracked from their workload due to outside forces and circumstances (*cough, cough* I am one of those people). Limiting those outside forces of distraction can and will be very helpful for your work environment.

Actions such as deleting social media apps off of your phone and drowning out office chatter with headphones can be a tremendous help. I find myself even being distracted by regular music so I’ve found a piano and classical playlist to help me limit the distractions.

Woman in front of building

The Big Picture

Regardless of how your year has gone thus far, there is one important thing to remember: You have the ability to change. You don’t have to wait for the start of a new year, a new month, or even a new day. You can implement changes all at once or slowly, but the important part is deciding to start.

This is going to be the best year yet.

EASY TIPS TO HELP YOU STAY ON TRACK THIS YEAR WITH DISTILLATA

Filed Under: #MomLife, Akron, busy mom, children, cleveland, Columbus, Cuyahoga Falls, deals, family, fitness, health, life, lists, living sustainably, Ohio, parenthood, shop local, tips + tricks, wellness, work from home, workout Tagged With: #MomLife, akron, cleveland, columbus, health, parenthood, shop local, tips + tricks, wellness, work from home, workout

Amwell Urgent Care Services: Get Back to Your Routine Faster

December 4, 2019 by Rachel 36 Comments

Compensation was provided by Amwell via Momtrends. The opinions expressed herein are those of the author and are not indicative of the opinions of Amwell or Momtrends.

Tis the season! Not just for the holidays, but for sickness, too! Between the inclement weather, work and life commitments, and just general busy-ness of the season, there is basically zero time to get to the doctor for an office visit.

Kids eating on the floor

Thanks to technology, we don’t have to worry about leaving the house for Urgent Care visits. Amwell offers online and mobile urgent care visits. They make it easy to be seen by doctors in just minutes to help combat illnesses like pink eye or the stomach flu.

I’ve been using mobile doctors for the last couple of years. Sure, we see our primary care doctor and pediatrician regularly. However, sometimes it just isn’t possible. Last week I was suffering from a headache that I just couldn’t get rid of. At first I thought it was just a headache, but when the pain moved to my jaw, I knew I needed to act.

Amwell App

I took a break while I was at work and I downloaded the Amwell app on my phone. Within minutes, I was connected with a board certified physician. She helped determine that, yes, it was likely an infection. An antibiotic prescription was called into my pharmacy and I was good to go.

woman with smartphone

That was it.

Why use Amwell for Urgent Care Services?

An urgent care visit can be expensive. And, unfortunately, most Urgent Care clinics are not open 24/7. Amwell is available day or night, at home or on the go.

What can I be seen for?

You can be seen for things like Fevers, Colds & Flu, Allergies, Sinus Infections, Stomach Bugs, UTIs, Rashes, Pink Eye, and more. They will not see you for an emergent situation (seizures, chest pain, broken bones, etc).

What can I expect during an Amwell telehealth visit?

You’ll need to create an account and enter in some of your personal information like insurance and health history. You can do this on either your phone or computer.

Then you can browse available doctors, review their credentials, and choose your preferred pharmacy.

Next, your video visit will start. The doctor will review your symptoms and assess your condition and set into motion next steps.

Complimentary Care

It’s still important to establish care with a regularly visited physician. Amwell is great for Urgent Care situations, but they are not a replacement for in-person care nor are they emergency care doctors.

Save on Urgent Care

The cost of an Amwell visit is $69, but if you click here and use the code itsahero you’ll receive 50% off!

Girl with pizza wings

Getting sick care shouldn’t be stressful. Don’t let it slow you down. Use Amwell to get your health back on track while you stay focused on everything else.

phone with app

Filed Under: #MomLife, busy mom, children, doctor, family, health, money saving tips, parenthood, tips + tricks, wellness Tagged With: #MomLife, busy mom, children, doctor, family, health, money saving tips, parenthood, tips + tricks, wellness

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