changes

finding my mommy zen.

February 19, 2016 by Rachel Leave a Comment

I realized last night that from the sounds of my rants lately, it would appear that I hate everything and everyone and that nothing good or happy has been going on. Well, the new baby struggles are real and I cope by just putting it all out there and sharing my experiences. Buuuut there have been a lot of awesome experiences, too.

For every toddler fit that exhausts me; for every colicky moment with Remy; for every spilled meal; there are handfuls of little moments that fill my heart with happiness and purpose.

For instance, yesterday we bounced between a lot of those tough moments and moments of ‘mommy zen.’ Ari ate a huge breakfast and a big healthy lunch; I cleaned the entire kitchen, bathroom and living room, including the dishes and vacuuming; every person in our household had at least one shower/bath; Ari napped while I made Rice Krispy treats; I had a hot cup of coffee; and Ari asked for bed at 7:30pm.

So yeah, not everything is perfect. But some things are — and that helps.

And I’m celebrating!

Also? Today there was sunshine. And coffee (thanks to a dear old friend for sending me a virtual gift card/hug the other day to lift my spirits!). Hip, hip, hooray! The makings of a perfect Friday, if I do say so myself!

But let’s be real… this is really what my zen looks like…

Yep. A sleeping baby.

xo and happy weekend!

Remy Bea // One Week (ish)

February 4, 2016 by Rachel 1 Comment

OK, first and foremost there will be some TMI in this post. You’ve been warned. 😛 Perhaps this post is only for people who are totally, totally, OK with the honesty of childbirth. And also, Moms. All moms can handle this stuff. 🙂

Another note, I’m totally, totally, suffering from Mommy/Newborn brain. Some words escape me and some sentences no longer make sense. Chad came in the room while I was sleeping the other night and asked where Ari’s pullups were… for the life of me I could not get out a clear sentence. That’s just life right now, folks. So keep that in mind as you read through this blog post. Perhaps there are grammatical errors… perhaps some sentences don’t make sense… that’s just the real talk of my life right now!

Remy’s head is so perfectly round that she looks like a c-section baby. She was only in the birth canal for a short period of time (like, super, super short), so her head is just so beautifully round! ♥
Even though I pushed her out at only 7cm dilated, I didn’t have one. single. tear. Seriously. Not even like a first degree (papercut) of a tear. I’m so grateful for my doctors for helping make that happen (even though I kicked them in the process). Oh, and my body. Because, guess what? Our bodies are A-MAZING. Seriously.

It’s amazing how much more flat my belly has gotten in a week this time around versus when I had Ari. I’m guessing this has something to do with nursing versus pumping. Oh, and also? not having much of an appetite because of the sickness I have going on.
Little Miss Remy Bea has been a champ at both nursing and sleeping over this last week. Even on the first night in the hospital, she slept for 6 hours straight overnight! Since then she hasn’t quite slept that long… but we do go about 3 hours at night between feedings! Hooray!
On Monday, when she was just 2 days old, we went on our first outing to Target and Babies R Us for a few things. It felt glorious to get out.
I pretty much stopped postpartum bleeding in just a few days. Which is incredible, considering.

In all of Ari’s infancy, we had never been peed on by him. In just one week, Remy Bea has peed on us at least 6 or 7 times. Like, straight in the air, peeing for days, kinda peeing on us. Whoever says boys will pee on you as soon as they hit cold air are very, very, wrong. Either that or we’ve been very lucky (with Moosh) and unlucky (with Remy Bea).
The ol’ saying that you have to put your own oxygen mask on first is totally true. I’m learning that, especially as I am struggling to find an adequate time to eat. It seems that every time I need to eat, Remy Bea needs to cluster-feed.
I slept on the couch for the better part of our first week at home. We didn’t want to throw too many transitions at Ari at one time… so we let him continue to sleep in “Mommies bed” with Chad the whole week. Plus, I wanted to sleep closer to the bathroom. 🙂

And yes, her two week post will be up before we know it. Oops!

{ weekly mantra }

December 21, 2015 by Rachel 1 Comment

This week will be a week of transitions, for SURE! While I can’t wait for Baby Girl to get here, I’m also kinda ready to have just Moosh for one last Christmas. Circumstances have… changed, to say the least, over the last week. For one, I’m now unemployed. Without going into nitty gritty details (and because I’m trying to focus on moving forward and focusing on the sadness I feel about the situation isn’t going to do me or anyone else any good), it’s causing some… feelings. And stress.

So this week, I’ll just be focusing on the holiday… getting ready with Moosh by making cookies, doing crafts, etc. And soaking it all up. I also have some unexpected time to get my ducks in a row before Baby Girl arrives in just a few weeks. So my to-do/nesting list is suddenly miles long!

I’m grateful that when one door closes another one opens, right?

I’m content knowing that people, situations, and circumstances are fluid. Everything changes; nothing is permanent.

I wish I could eat a burrito, a Swensons hamburger, and a Krispy Kreme donut all at once. Or even one at a time. I just can’t eat much. Still. But gosh, the cravings are coming on strong right now!

Happiness is being in the Christmas spirit! A toddler makes that so easy. He’s SO pumped about Santa coming! ♥

Mantra of the week:

‘Cause it just feels RIGHT.

the power of “NO.”

December 18, 2015 by Rachel Leave a Comment

It’s taken me a long time, and a lot of years, to realize that I had the power to say “no.” A few years ago I had a goal of saying “yes” to everything I was asked to participate in for two weeks or something like that. But that was pre-kids, pre-marriage, etc. Life was much more… flexible. I felt an urge to get out and get involved. And to, well, people please, to put it frankly.

So what’s changed, besides the obvious? Well, having a family means we are pretty much ‘automatically’ signed up for a bunch of things. Sure, we want to do these things; but it also leaves me craving time where I’m not doing a darn thing! We are just plain ol’ burned out from life.

Enter: the great NO challenge.

It’s not that I’m giving myself a timeframe to say no to everything I’m asked to socially commit to; but I’m giving myself permission to say “no” as needed — without an excuse.

“No” really shouldn’t need an excuse. Sometimes, just, no.

I love all of my friends, I truly do. I love seeing them and hanging out. But when life is super busy, sometimes the healthiest thing you can do for yourself is to schedule time to be “busy doing nothing” in your planner. I’ve done this before and it’s helped tremendously. I’ll black out a weekend on the calendar and tell Chad that we’re “busy doing nothing” all weekend so we can’t make plans.

Do you feel like you could say “no” if you truly just don’t want to engage in something? I suggest looking at it differently: Know your priorities and the value of your time. When a friend or relative asks something of us, we have to decide where our time is best suited.

It’s taken me a while to know where my time is valuable. For me, it’s with my husband and son. Or heck, even by myself! It’s hard to juggle time with young kids in the home; but knowing when you need a few minutes to yourself can be life-saving to you and your relationships.

For example, this co-sleeping thing has had me at my wits end at times. I feel like Moosh is constantly attached to me. One night, after 3.5 hours trying to get him to sleep, he just wouldn’t. I was tied to him. The next day I had one request: I asked Chad if he would handle bedtime solo so I could have a few minutes alone, even if it was just to check my email/blog/twitter and watch one episode of trashy TV from the DVR. I’m so grateful that I asked him for help. I like to pretend I’m super mom and can do it all, but sometimes we need to just step back and ask. And because of this two hours I had, I ended up feeling refreshed and rejuvenated!

Seriously. Because sometimes the act of saying “no” is truly empowering you to say “yes” in other aspects of your life.

So by all means, this holiday season or this New Year, feel empowered to say NO when you need it — sans guilt!

reflections on 30 //

October 4, 2015 by Rachel 1 Comment

I would be lying if I said that this past year was anything but rough. Sure, it had plenty of good times; but it also had quite a few rough patches. I’ve been sick a lot. Like, a LOT. Yes, with this pregnancy, but also before that. It’s been an odd year of ups and downs as far as my health is concerned. Lucky for me, Moosh has been pretty healthy (minus one small childrens’ hospital scare).

In an effort to remind myself of what happy times happened in my 30th year of life, I went through my pictures. It turns out, YES, amongst the craziness of the last 365 days, we found reason to smile. Reasons for hope. And reasons for love.

That being said, I’m really and truly looking forward to 31. Bring on the craziness. Bring on the roller coaster. Bring it all. I know it won’t be easy. We’ll be welcoming baby number 2 into our house in just a few, short months. That alone is sure to stir things up. But I’m changing my expectations. I’m planning on just rolling with the punches. Easier said than done, am I right?

That’s my goal for the next year — to just roll with the punches. And to remember what matters in this world — my itty bitty (growing) family. ♥

So if you need me, I’m going to be spending the last day of my 30th year in comfy clothes, eating soup on the couch, while watching movies with the husband + Moosh.

And thank you to everyone who hung in there for thirty. XO

PS. Let this serve as a friendly reminder that both Homeland AND the Leftovers start back on HBO tonight — HAPPY (almost) BIRTHDAY TO ME from HBO! 🙂

who is using poshmark?

September 30, 2015 by Rachel 1 Comment

Is anyone using Poshmark!? I’ve been trying to ‘purge’ my closet for a while now and I really want my precious clothes to go to a good home! LOL! But seriously. I’ve been hanging on to a lot of super tiny clothes that I just need to pass on to someone new. Buh-bye, size 2 J. Crew jeans + pants! It’s been real! 😉