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One Year Out // My Third Postpartum Journey

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It’s hard to believe that one year ago today I was… anxious. Anxious and excited. I was beyond ready to meet our final and missing piece. It would still be two more days of waiting before Miss Mila Rose made her way into the world. And I spent these days doing a lot of walking and a lot of impatiently awaiting the start of labor.

But let’s back up — because if you had asked me if I wanted to have any more children after Remy was born 3.5 years ago, I would have emphatically said “Hell to the no.” And I’m not certain what changed. But at some point, I realized that our family needed a little bit more craziness. Enter our 3rd (and final) pregnancy.

Looking back on those last moments as a family of 4, I realize that, although I was anxious, I was also calm. I was ready — perhaps more ready than I’d ever been to tackle labor. I knew my body was capable of handling a rough 24-hours or so, all to help this beautiful new creature enter the world.

But what I didn’t realize at the time is that my postpartum experience would be drastically different this third time around. I was heavily prepared to be on the struggle bus shortly after delivery.

When I was okay, I decided not to hold my breath. I was just waiting for the other shoe to drop. But it didn’t. At least, not really. Or not in the same way as before.

And as I round out these last couple of days with my final baby, I’m celebrating the fact that we did it — we made it through our last postpartum period. Hoorayyyy!! Now let me snuggle my last ever newborn for just a teeeeeensy bit longer! Thursday will be here before I know it. ♥ ♥

Mila Rose // 9 Months

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Here we goooo again! I thought for certain we would make it through this month without an illness. Isn’t that funny! I know, I should have known better.

So yeah. This 9-month update should have come to you a few days ago, but Meebs was in no position to have her picture taken. Ha!

Meebs  //

For those of you who are new around here, Meebs is the nickname for baby number three — Mila Rose. Her big sister, Remy, age 3, can’t manage to pronounce “Mila” so she says “Meeba.” The name Meeba has somehow turned into “Meebs” and now that’s generally what she is known as… by, like, everyone.

It’s funny and cute and weird, but totally normal to us. And I sometimes have to remind myself that people who don’t know us well aren’t familiar with this name (and find it strange, not surprisingly) and that I should just take a second to explain.

On The Move  //

My first child, Ari, was quick to pick up everything. From the bottle to crawling, then walking to talking — even potty training! — he just did it all early. Kind of odd for a boy (and first child), but I rolled with it.

The same cannot be said for my girls. Both have completely different infant temperaments, but they both seem to be taking their darn time at ‘big kid’ milestones. And I guess I’m just rolling with them, too.

Although I expected Meebs to start crawling before 8-months, it wasn’t until about 8-months and one week before she started doing her own little army crawl. And guys, this army crawl is unlike anything I’ve seen before! It’s a combination of an army crawl and a half-roll! It’s hilarious but effective!

Boob + Food  //

I’ve never been in any sort of hurry to start my babies on solids. We have always done a combination of Baby Led Weaning (BLW) and purees but only began once we were certain that they were ready. And with all of the meal-making for the big kids, I was honestly in zero rush to sit and force another child to eat.

In the last month I’ve been giving her at least one jar of food every day, but oftentimes it ends up being 2 or 3. I kind of let her take the lead and tell me when she wants food. She makes it pretty clear when boob isn’t cutting it. But last night, for instance, she let me know that less than one jar of food was sufficient for dinner. And that’s absolutely fine with me.

Her favorite baby foods are pears, sweet potatoes, and oats. And, thus far, she hasn’t really spit out anything.

Weight + Height  //

Well, I was super excited to see her weight and height progression at her 9-month well child visit. Although she was born my ‘biggest’ and is my chunkiest baby, I knew she was still really small compared to the average. Her weight, coming in at a whopping 15 pounds 11 ounces, came as no shock to me (although, truthfully, I was hoping she would break the sixteen-mark!), as she is still fitting quite comfortably in most of her 3-6 month clothes. That puts her at 10th percentile for weight! — STILL my biggest percentile baby, can you believe that?!

I can’t remember her exact height, but she’s over 40th percentile for height. Makes sense considering those 3-6 month clothes are just starting to get a little short.

In the end, our pediatrician isn’t worried one bit. She’s exactly perfect and right on track with her siblings. She’s meeting all of her milestones (and has crazy good hand-eye coordination!) regardless of her tiny stature.

Health  //

We’re on a once-a-month illness schedule around here. I’m chalking it up to building her immune system — and I’m just grateful it has never been something truly serious. But just days ahead of turning 9-months, she got hit with yet another yucky cough, turned double-ear infection, turned bronchiolitis.

Again, not serious, but definitely not all that fun either. We had a couple of really bad days and nights battling a low-grade fever and fussiness, but no sooner was she diagnosed and put on an antibiotic did she start to show signs of improvement.

Just three more months  //

It’s hard to believe that we’ll be celebrating her first birthday in 3 months. I’m already (slowly) starting to plan an elaborate celebration (my very last babies first birthday, y’all!). But in the meantime, I’ll be over here crying over every teeny tiny milestone.

Also! I’m hosting a Giveaway for a 4-pack of tickets to Sesame Street Live! at the Wolstein Center this April 6th – 7th. The giveaway closes at 11:59 PM EST 3/27/2019, so head here to enter now.

Mila Rose – 5 Months

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If I could wrap up this last month in one word it would be the following: bittersweet.

Bittersweet because over this last month Mila has changed dramatically. She’s no longer a squishy little baby that just eats, sleeps, and poops. Nope. Now she laughs, smiles, and watches her siblings play. She’s, like, a real human now! Ha!

But I’m sad because that was the last time I’ll ever go through the newborn stage. My last baby is already FIVE MONTHS OLD — and that just seems crazy to me. I want, terribly, to relive these days again, another time.

In the same breath, I’m really okay with moving on with our lives — away from newborn ‘things.’ I am looking forward to watching Mila grow into an even bigger little human. I can’t wait to see her continue to interact with her siblings (and me!).

Here’s what else we’ve been up to over the last month —

As mentioned before, she laughs and smiles… a lot.

And apparently, she’s a fan of slapstick comedy. We found out by complete accident. The whole family was lying in bed when we playfully pushed Remy and she ‘fell’ back and laughed. Mila cracked up. Like, full-on belly laugh. It was hilarious so we did what every parent would do… we kept on ‘pushing’ the kids. And every single time, she would belly laugh.

A bit of a health update: She’s perfectly fine. Well, mostly.

This past month has been a whirlwind of appointments. We The first appointment was an echocardiogram at Akron Children’s Hospital. The technician let us know that there was nothing that required immediate attention and sent us on our way.

The second appointment was a dermatologist appointment at the Cleveland Clinic. These world-renowned doctors let us know that, again, while it’s odd that her hands and feet are still purple (a condition that should correct itself the first few weeks after birth), there didn’t appear to be anything causing it. At least not outwardly. I was asked quite a bit about whether or not autoimmune diseases run in our family (none to which I’m aware of), and we decided that if she still has this condition at her six-month well-visit, we’ll do a blood draw to test for things like lupus.

Just as I thought we were totally in the clear, I received a call from our pediatricians’ office. They called and said that the echo showed a hole in her heart and they wanted to refer her to a pediatric cardiologist at Akron Children’s Hospital. And, sigh, my heart fell. It wasn’t quite what I was expecting, but I knew that if it was anything serious, they never would have let us leave her echo.

So we saw a cardiologist and it was explained to us that 20% of all grown adults have this hole in their heart (from birth) and they may never be aware of it. She’s perfectly healthy, heart-wise — no murmur, nothing. In fact, she doesn’t even want to see us back! Hooray!

We’ll just be awaiting our 6-month well-visit to see if her hands and feet are still purple. That’s it!

Food? Not yet.

We haven’t yet started on food or cereal. But we are still EBF (exclusively breastfeeding). She’s gaining weight, which is a good sign. Truthfully, I’ve never doubted my ability to nourish my children. But the fact remains — she was born my largest baby at 8 lbs, which means she ‘should’ be following a heavier growth curve than she is. But my children are small — they always have been. So I’m not surprised that she dropped off her original curve and she’s trending more like my first two babies.

We never used cereal or rice with the first two babies (personal decision), but I considered it this third time around. I haven’t ruled it out (yet) but I’m holding off until our 6-month appointment. From her specialist appointments this past month, I have zero weight worries. She gained and gained with every appointment!

Sleep? Sometimes.

We’ve been super hit or miss this last month. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t frustrated. She’s been doing an awful lot of cluster feeding lately (thanks to a growth spurt and teething), so there are many . nights where I’m basically pulling an all-nighter. And then other nights she seems to sleep for 6-hour stretches. It’s weird. I can’t find a pattern. I’m just hoping it levels off soon.

We’re technically still co-sleeping (same room, not bedsharing), but as soon as we’re in the new house she’ll be in a separate room. I know it will be an adjustment, but we’ll all be adjusting to our new home, so fingers crossed that helps.

No more babies.

I honestly cannot wait to spend this holiday season with my little (big?) family of 5. I’m finally comfortable saying “We’re good with three kids. Believe it or not, I was considering a fourth just a few months back. But now that we’ve moved into our new home, I’m ready to settle into our family as it is. I feel like this new house may be our fourth ‘baby’. Ha!

So for now, I’ll just be over here eating up this last baby stage. Ever laugh, every thigh roll, every breastfeeding punch, and every sleepless night… I’ll just eat it all up.

Happy 5 months, Mila Rose. ♥ ♥

 

Mila Rose // 3 Months

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Oh, sweet baby girl. I cannot believe you are already three months old. You have taught me so much in these last 3 months — much more than I thought I needed to know.

For one, I didn’t know that as a mom of 2 already, I could possibly have any more room in my heart for love. But I do. I have so much love.

And that’s just it — you have taught me that even though I feel completely spent and completely exhausted at the end of each and every day, I still have so much room in my heart for love.

I finally admitted it last month — you are such an easy baby. I was afraid to say it, but it still stands. You are easy peasy. Sure, we’ve had hiccups along the way. Like this darn 4-month sleep regression that seems to have popped up a whole month early.

And speaking of popping, you already have a tooth through the gums. A TOOTH! at just three-months-old! How is that even possible!?

It seems as if Miss Mila Rose is doing a lot of things ahead of schedule. Like rolling over.

Yep, she’s already rolling over.

Admittedly, I was not in the room when she rolled over. But hang on sanctimommies — she was safe. I just happened to leave her on the living room floor for 30 seconds while I went to the bathroom. In that time she managed to roll over. Since then, she’s rolled over two more times from her back to her belly. It’s so crazy to see at such an early age, especially since Remy seemed to be so late on rolling over, crawling, and walking.

And she’s so. darn. chatty.

She talks and talks and talks and talks and talks. It’s insane.

Oh, and she’s teeny tiny. Even for my ‘largest’ baby — born at 8lbs — she’s still incredibly small. However, I’m not surprised. Both other kids were always in the 2nd percentile for weight so it really doesn’t shock me that she’s so little. But we’ll have to wait and see exactly where she falls on the growth curve until her four-month appointment!

Gahh! I can’t believe a four-month appointment will be here before I know it! Time is just flying by. And I can’t wait to see where this next month takes us!

Mila Rose // 2 Months

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I. cannot. believe. it’s. been. two. months! SERIOUSLY. It feels like she’s been around for way longer, but also? HOW is it already two months since her birth!? Crazytown. That’s how.

But real talk — I’ve been holding out on telling you something. Because I’ve been afraid to say it out loud:

Mila is such an easy baby. There. I said it.

It’s been one of those situations where I’m afraid to say it out loud. But here I am… saying it. She’s a really good baby.

She’s a great sleeper, she’s a wonderful napper, and she’s an overall happy baby. And I’ve just been afraid to tell you out of fear that I would jinx it.

From the night we brought her home from the hospital and slept for 5.5 hours straight, I was spoiled. Since then, she’s been sleeping regularly from 8:00 PM to 3:00 or 4:00 AM. So, basically, waking up at 3 AM and then again at 7 AM. That’s a huge change from my previous children. Having had two children that were awful newborns, I’m certainly not used to this.

But, after Mila’s two month well checkup, I’m learning to accept that this is real life.

She’s just a fantastic baby. And if she was my first baby, I would have 17 babies. She’s easy. She sleeps. She eats well. She is (mostly) happy. She is lovely. Truly… lovely!

While I still have moments of postpartum hormones (anxiety and sadness), it’s been fairly manageable. I suppose that’s one of the joys of having an easy baby.

But just do me a favor, okay? Please reach over and knock on wood for me. I’m still just a tad bit superstitious. 😉

Birth Story of Mila Rose

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Part of me wanted to write this while it was fresh in my mind. I had jotted down bits and pieces just after delivery but I somehow failed at getting it all out coherently. Perhaps it was all too raw to put into meaningful sentences at the time, but I’m finally ready to put pen to paper.

Although this would be my third baby, I was terrified of labor and delivery. In the days and weeks prior to my due date, I kept giving myself pep talk after pep talk. I stayed hydrated. I made lists. I did everything I could to make this a smooth process. But the fear of both previous deliveries weighed heavy on my mind.

A little recap if you’re new around here: Ari (my first) was a 24-hour labor with intense vomiting and dehydration. I ended up getting an epidural at the 23rd hour and finally dilating from 3cm to 10cm in a matter of 60 minutes. Remy (my second) was the most incredible labor process: I was able to speak in between contractions and felt fine without any pain medications. But when it came time to push, I felt like I was going to die. I ended up pushing her out drug-free and very quickly. 

Like previous pregnancies, my due date — June 16th — came and went without fanfare. I awoke at 1 am on Tuesday, June 19th, with some painful contractions. I readied myself for a long day by trying to sleep in between, but it was difficult.

But that’s good, right? That meant it was real labor!

So I called my mom at 7 AM and let her know that I was up most of the night with contractions. I was sending Chad to work for the day so I told her to go ahead and go in and I’d call her later, too. She had a 5-hour drive ahead of her, but I had a friend locally that would be taking the kids until she arrived.

Around 2:30 PM or so I let my friend Kerry know that I needed her to come and get the kids. The kids were picked up and Chad arrived home a few minutes later. He went upstairs to lie down for a bit and prepare for a busy evening of baby-birthing!

I finally decided to call my OBGYN and let them know about my contractions. They had been between 3-8 minutes apart since 1 AM and I was finally getting the constant “I have to poop” feeling. The office urged me to come in right away since my contractions were so close together, so I woke Chad up after only 10 minutes.

When we arrived at the hospital at 4:30 PM, triage checked my cervix. I was only 2cm dilated. Not surprising, considering my history of not dilating until the very last minute. I communicated that to my nurses. They basically ignored me. I was told that they would admit me under the pretense of knowing that if I didn’t begin to dilate further within a matter of 2-hours, they would take measures to help induce labor.

I gave them the answer they wanted to hear at that point — “Okay.” But I very much discussed with Chad that if they tried to break my water or give me pitocin, we would decline. I was still going for my epidural-free delivery and any interventions of the sort would have caused me to have more pain before my body was ready.

So I was admitted to my room and continued to labor with increasing intensity. I tried the birthing ball and walking, but I just couldn’t get comfortable. The only way I was making it through my contractions was by standing up and leaning on the counter in the room. Chad tried cracking jokes a few times and I shut it down immediately. This was hard labor and I was not up for the jokes.

Every contraction felt like I had to push. Several hours of this feeling and check after check revealed very little change in my dilation. At one point the anesthesiologist came in to introduce herself. I kindly let her know that I was attempting a drug-free delivery and she acknowledged but insisted that we still go through the questionnaire regarding my health history.

Around 10:30 PM I had a contraction that I knew was the beginning of “transition”. For the first time, I grabbed a barf bag and as that contraction hit, I couldn’t stop throwing up. I was literally crossing my legs every contraction. for fear of pushing. The resident checked me again — only 5cm dilated.

Only 5. Hours and hours into labor. I was so discouraged. Each contraction was getting increasingly more intense.

Chad finally said, “Are you going drug-free just to say you did it again?” Truthfully, I wasn’t. But I just (thought) I could do it again; I wanted to believe my body could handle it.

I finally said that I desperately needed that epidural in order to make it through labor. The anesthesiologist was about to head out for a procedure but came running in to help me. At this point, the contractions were coming back to back. I was unable to move or breathe and the pushing sensation was intensifying.

As the anesthesiologist was prepping I yelled out that I felt like I couldn’t stop from pushing. I was checked again — 7cm. The epidural seemed to take forever. I was sitting as still as I could, crossing my legs, and screaming out in pain pretty much nonstop. Once the epidural was placed and the medicine was inserted, I thought I had to push again. I was checked once again — 9cm. I still felt all of it. I needed to know when the medicine would start to work. I was screaming at the anesthesiologist, asking why it wasn’t working. To which she kindly replied that it takes about 15-minutes to kick in.

After the 15-minutes had passed I was still feeling so much pain. She inserted even more medicine in hopes to get me comfortable — or at least not writhing in pain. Another 15 minutes later and it seemed to be working. My OB walked in and did another dilation check — 10cm.

I may not be able to handle the pain, but I know my body. I knew that when I (finally) started to dilate, it would be fast. So here we are at 11:45 PM and I’m being told that I can push at my next contraction. I have to say that the epidural must have been placed perfectly because I could not feel a single thing during pushing and it was the perfect pushing experience.

I pushed for about 4 contractions and she was here!

Mila Rose, born at 12:16 AM on Wednesday, June 20th. Weighing in at 8lbs half of an ounce and 19-inches long! Nearly 24-hours of labor but perfect in every way. Welcome to our little family, Mila. You are already so loved. ♥

Photos: Shorter Shots Photography