Its a Hero

babies

Finding Value as a Stay-at-Home-Mom

by 18 Comments

I’m coming up on three years as a SAHM (WAHM/part-time earner) and I’m only recently becoming confident in my self-value.

See, just three years ago — only one month before I was due to deliver Remy Bea — I lost my job of ten years. I was completely devastated and 100% exhausted. Devastated because I felt like I let my family down; exhausted because I knew in my heart I couldn’t keep up with the back and forth of primary parenting while working any longer.

The burden had shifted.

Without my financial contribution to our family, I felt completely lost and isolated. In truth, I felt unworthy. My husband would now be the sole provider of our family. And the guilt that came along with that responsibility tore me to pieces. As I grappled with the notion that my previous income would not have been worth two kids in daycare full time, I was also coming to terms with my new identity.

Stay at home mom.

What would people think? Would my husband lose love for me? Would my valid as a person decrease because my role had (drastically) changed in society?

Truthfully, it’s something that took a couple of years to come to terms with. My role adjusted several times, as I returned to the workforce part-time just weeks after Remy was born — but with both kids in tow the whole time. Also, I monetized my side-hustle and shifted more energy in that direction. Working at home meant juggling diaper changes with photo edits, cooking dinner while sending emails, and often times not setting proper expectations for myself or my time.

But now, three years into this chaos… I feel whole. My role is not necessarily any more defined than before. But I know just how worthy I am.

I am a master of chaos.

I am the keeper of appointments.

I am the juggler of to-dos.

I am the ringleader of a tiny circus.

I am the family calendar.

I am the multitasker extraordinaire.

I am the boo-boo kisser.

I am the errand-runner.

I am the disciplinarian.

I am the mid-day snuggler.

And all of this is important. Undervalued, but important. 

It’s time to shift that paradigm. Your value is not based on your income; your value is not based on your financial contribution to society; your value is not based on the hours you put in. You are more than your work. You are important because of everything you have to offer the world.

Your value is not based on your income; your value is not based on your financial contribution to society; your value is not based on the hours you put in. You are more than your work. You are important because of everything you have to offer. Click To Tweet

Remember this, friends. When you’re in the depth of it — the ‘OMG what am I doing here?!’ — remember that you are enough. You are invaluable to so many. ♥ ♥

 

Mila Rose // 4 Months

by 15 Comments

Time flies, friends. It truly does. And this past month has been nothing short of a whirlwind. So much so, in fact, that I totally missed Mila’s 4-month milestone. No joke. By that, I mean that it was days — days! — before I realized she was 4-months-old, not 3-months-old.

Third kid problem? Yep. Girlfriend better get used to this. Ha!

So the good news is that the 4-month sleep regression that popped up early for us last month seems to have passed, but we’re now struggling to nap for longer stretches during the day. Sure, it’s a bit of a bummer, but I have a feeling it has to do with the three teeth she’s cutting presently.

The first tooth I mentioned last month still hasn’t made its way through completely, but it’s since been joined by two others cutting through her poor gums. So we’re dealing with the fussiness that comes along with that, but we’re managing.

She’s garnered the nickname Scooter from Mimi + Poppy because she will lay on the ground on her back and somehow manage to scoot all over the living room! And she’s still rolling over from back to belly over and over and over again.

And she’s found her little voice. Her favorite thing to do is laugh at her brother and sister — especially when they pretend to fall down. Between the laughter, babbling, and blowing raspberries, this child is LOUD. I suppose she has to be with two other crazy kids in the house, right?

We also had her four-month appointment with her pediatrician. She’s weighing in at 11 pounds 15 ounces, which puts her at 7.5 percentile on the growth chart. And her medical team is a little concerned because she also has what appears to be a circulation issue (they’re thinking likely Raynaud’s disease), but coupling that with her slow weight gain means that we have to make a trip to see a pediatric cardiologist and pediatric dermatologist to rule out any underlying heart issues.

Other than that, this little lady is doing wonderfully! She is happy as can be and truly a joy to have as a part of our little family. ♥ ♥

 

 

Mila Rose // 3 Months

by 6 Comments

Oh, sweet baby girl. I cannot believe you are already three months old. You have taught me so much in these last 3 months — much more than I thought I needed to know.

For one, I didn’t know that as a mom of 2 already, I could possibly have any more room in my heart for love. But I do. I have so much love.

And that’s just it — you have taught me that even though I feel completely spent and completely exhausted at the end of each and every day, I still have so much room in my heart for love.

I finally admitted it last month — you are such an easy baby. I was afraid to say it, but it still stands. You are easy peasy. Sure, we’ve had hiccups along the way. Like this darn 4-month sleep regression that seems to have popped up a whole month early.

And speaking of popping, you already have a tooth through the gums. A TOOTH! at just three-months-old! How is that even possible!?

It seems as if Miss Mila Rose is doing a lot of things ahead of schedule. Like rolling over.

Yep, she’s already rolling over.

Admittedly, I was not in the room when she rolled over. But hang on sanctimommies — she was safe. I just happened to leave her on the living room floor for 30 seconds while I went to the bathroom. In that time she managed to roll over. Since then, she’s rolled over two more times from her back to her belly. It’s so crazy to see at such an early age, especially since Remy seemed to be so late on rolling over, crawling, and walking.

And she’s so. darn. chatty.

She talks and talks and talks and talks and talks. It’s insane.

Oh, and she’s teeny tiny. Even for my ‘largest’ baby — born at 8lbs — she’s still incredibly small. However, I’m not surprised. Both other kids were always in the 2nd percentile for weight so it really doesn’t shock me that she’s so little. But we’ll have to wait and see exactly where she falls on the growth curve until her four-month appointment!

Gahh! I can’t believe a four-month appointment will be here before I know it! Time is just flying by. And I can’t wait to see where this next month takes us!

7 Must-Haves for Baby’s First Cold Season

by 18 Comments

I don’t know about you but I, for one, am very excited that Fall is nearly here. I look forward to the crisp air, fallen leaves, and cooler weather. But, as with every changing season, a new set of illnesses is on the horizon. In fact, Mila caught her first bit of something last week, which flooded back all kinds of ‘first cold’ memories from the previous two kids.

But truly, cold season is no joke. What starts as a common cold can easily turn into RSV or croup. It can get ugly fast, that’s for sure. So I’m sharing my trust mommy-must-haves for cold season!

01.  The Nose Frida.

I know I’ve talked about this thing over and over again, but the Nose Frida is truly a lifesaver. Let’s cut the bologna though — it’s a snot-sucker. That’s all it is. But you’d be amazed at how important a snot-sucker can be when your teeny, tiny baby is struggling to breathe through congestion.

But the faint at heart must know that you won’t actually be sucking snot from your child’s nose with your mouth. So rest easy, friends. There are an apparatus and a filter to block your mouth from the gunk.

02.  A Humidifier.

Nights are the absolute worst when your baby is sick. Before we bought a humidifier we would run the shower for steam constantly, but that was more of a defensive technique. To stay on the offensive with a cold, we use a cool mist humidifier to help them breathe more easily.

Each of our kids actually has this exact humidifier in each of their rooms and we run it from this time of year all the way through the Winter months. Just be sure to use distilled water in it to avoid mineral build up in the humidifier!

03.  Infant Probiotics.

We start pumping our babies with these probiotics at the very beginning of cold season. We try to get in a few doses before they are even exposed to boost their immune systems. And they have been super helpful!

Whether or not your baby is breast or formula fed, it’s important to get that extra push of the good gut bacteria in them to help kick the colds as quickly as possible!

It comes with a teeny little syringe which makes it super easy to make sure they’re getting the appropriate amount.

04.  Vicks Vaporub for Kids. 

Nothing hurts a mama’s heart more than seeing her little one stuffy and struggling to breathe, so this is an absolute must! We apply the Vaporub to the chest and the bottoms of the feet and it really helps them out tremendously — especially at night and during nap time.

05.  Boogie Wipes. 

Before becoming a mom I would probably laugh if you told me that there are ‘special’ wipes specifically designed for babies noses. I mean, regular tissue will work fine, right? Wrong. So wrong. Boogie Wipes are a genius invention. They are super soft, extra gentle, and help to get even the toughest crusty boogers off of a newborns face.

Traditional baby wipes are not nearly as gentle and soft, so you may laugh at this concept, but I promise you these Boogie Wipes are a must-have for cold season.

06.  Have Baby Sleep on an Incline. 

For the first few months of our babies lives we’ve had them sleeping in a Rock ‘n Play sleeper next to our bed. But did you know that it can also be helpful for a baby to sleep at that kind of incline when they are congested as well? Whether it be in a rock and play or on a wedge mat, the incline will absolutely help with the drainage.

07.  …and, as always, GRACE.

Mama, whether it’s your first baby or your 7th baby, the first cold season can be absolutely brutal on us. Expect long days and even longer nights, so give yourself a healthy dose of grace to get through it. Because you will get through it.

If you’ve been through it before

 

what tips

 

do you have

 

for cold season?

 

9 Postpartum Must-Haves

by 27 Comments

Bringing a new baby home is a huge adjustment — both for the new mom and the family. But one of the best things that you can do as a mom is to take care of yourself. It’s taken a few years to learn these things, but here is my list of postpartum must-haves for all moms!

1. Motrin.

I’ve been through three very different deliveries and each time I’ve needed help with aches and pains postpartum. Whether you’ve been through a drug-free delivery, a vaginal delivery with an epidural, or a c-section, Motrin will be your new BFF — at least for a few days.

Birth is traumatic, ya’ll. Even when it isn’t, it is. Whichever way you bring a new life into this world, it’s rough on your body. Don’t be a martyr, take the Motrin and take it often. I learned the first time around that it’s not a good idea to wait until you need it; instead just take it when you’re allowed.

2. Meals. 

Ready-to-eat frozen meals, restaurant gift cards, a meal train — all of it. Whether you’re adding baby number one or baby number 7 to your family, the last thing a new mom wants to do is prepare food. In fact, you’ll need to eat as soon as you get a free moment.

If anyone asks if they can bring you a meal or a gift card to a restaurant, absolutely accept it. I felt so guilty about doing this the first time around, but I realized long afterward that I could do this for other people and pay it forward. So with baby number two and number three, I accepted every meal gift. Mostly it’s just moms who have been there and know how difficult it can be.

3. Comfortable clothes/pajamas.

The days (and weeks) that follow the birth of a new child will be days (and weeks) of hunkering down at home. If it’s your first child, you may think you need to wear real clothes. I’m here to tell you, just don’t. I mean, sure — shower and try to get yourself together because it will make you feel better. But you also need to feel comfortable. Your body, regardless of what kind of birth you’ve had, has been through trauma. So make sure you have several sets of comfortable clothes whether it be pajamas or sweatpants or whatever.

4. Depends.

Everyone will tell you how much you need the giant pads but I’m here to tell you that I’m not about that life. Did you know that Depends Silhouettes exist?! Because they are glorious! They are not like diapers in any way, shape, or form; in fact, they are (almost) comfortable. So ditch the pads — buy the depends.

5. Stool Softeners. 

Whatever experience you’ve had with birth, a child has exited your body. And for 40-weeks a baby has grown inside of you. Your organs have shifted to make room and then shifted back very, very, suddenly. This and hormonal changes wreak havoc on our digestive systems. Whether or not you think you need them, take the stool softeners. They’ll be offered to you in the hospital — take them. And make sure you have a small pack of them at home to get you through the first week or two.

6. Breastpads. 

Whether you decide to breastfeed or formula-feed, your breasts will leak — and you should most certainly be prepared. While I so desperately want to be a supporter of reusable breast pads, I have to say that I’ve tried the silicone breast pads and they are massively uncomfortable. Either get yourself the fabric reusables or the disposables.

7. Comfortable Nursing Bras + Tanks.

Comfort is key postpartum! Your tatas will hurt. So make them comfortable by finding bras and tanks that are secure but also not too tight.

8. Air Conditioning.

Hormones do crazy things. One of those things is making us sweat our booty off postpartum! Even after having my January baby, I was sweating like crazy — so much so that my husband had to sleep in the other room because I was freezing him out! So you’ll need air conditioning or, at the very least, a really good fan to circulate the air.

But no worries, because your hormones will even out and you’ll be back at a normal resting temperature before you know it!

9. Grace.

I’ve talked a lot about grace and motherhood. But I promise you it is not to be cliché. It is the one thing that has saved me, often times from myself. After becoming a mom for the first time I realized that I had put way too much pressure on myself, especially in those first few postpartum weeks. I accepted too many visitors and I stressed myself out by trying to ‘keep up’ with housework.

Just don’t. Breathe. Delegate. And give yourself all of the grace.

What are some

of the items

on your postpartum

must-have list?

Mila Rose // 2 Months

by 20 Comments

I. cannot. believe. it’s. been. two. months! SERIOUSLY. It feels like she’s been around for way longer, but also? HOW is it already two months since her birth!? Crazytown. That’s how.

But real talk — I’ve been holding out on telling you something. Because I’ve been afraid to say it out loud:

Mila is such an easy baby. There. I said it.

It’s been one of those situations where I’m afraid to say it out loud. But here I am… saying it. She’s a really good baby.

She’s a great sleeper, she’s a wonderful napper, and she’s an overall happy baby. And I’ve just been afraid to tell you out of fear that I would jinx it.

From the night we brought her home from the hospital and slept for 5.5 hours straight, I was spoiled. Since then, she’s been sleeping regularly from 8:00 PM to 3:00 or 4:00 AM. So, basically, waking up at 3 AM and then again at 7 AM. That’s a huge change from my previous children. Having had two children that were awful newborns, I’m certainly not used to this.

But, after Mila’s two month well checkup, I’m learning to accept that this is real life.

She’s just a fantastic baby. And if she was my first baby, I would have 17 babies. She’s easy. She sleeps. She eats well. She is (mostly) happy. She is lovely. Truly… lovely!

While I still have moments of postpartum hormones (anxiety and sadness), it’s been fairly manageable. I suppose that’s one of the joys of having an easy baby.

But just do me a favor, okay? Please reach over and knock on wood for me. I’m still just a tad bit superstitious. 😉