saying goodbye.

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Over the last couple of days I’ve been incredibly quiet on social media. Between twitter, instagram and facebook, I’ve kinda ‘stepped away’ and taken a breath. Because we got hit with some pretty rough news on Wednesday. Our beloved Oscar Pants — the pup I’ve had since he was 8 weeks old — hadn’t eaten in a few days and on Wednesday morning, he couldn’t walk. So we took him to the emergency vet. After realistic talks with the vet and some blood work, the vet came back in with some not great news. To be honest, we were expecting not great news.

Call it a hunch. His red blood cell counts were scary low. Conclusively, it’s cancer. Likely in the spleen. But so terminal that doing any further research into the exact “where” was not advised. He would immediately need a blood transfusion, chemo and surgery to give up a chance of living three months. Otherwise? Just a few days.

So we’ve been soaking up the moments. He’s on a steroid to get him to eat/drink/gain some mobility back. But otherwise? He just isn’t our same puppy anymore.

It’s hard to think that just a week ago Moosh was stealing Oscar’s toy and running through the kitchen while Oscar chased him and Moosh giggled hysterically. Seriously. Just over last weekend. It’s insane how quickly things progress. Also? It’s scary.

I’m heartbroken to think that we will have to soon say goodbye to my furry best friend, Chad’s furry best friend, and — most devastating — Ari’s only best friend. My heart aches utterly and completely for this dog. And this kid. The kid that calls him “My Ockie!” and the kid who naps with “his Ockie” in his crib. They are two peas in a pod. And I don’t know how to tell him that his Ockie is… no longer around.

But some perspective: Yes, my dog is my first baby; but every day people are affected by cancer and other life-threatening diseases; every day people are given terrible news; every single day children are suffering through the horrors of cancer. If anything this was a wake up call: We are LUCKY. We are LUCKY to have had such an amazing dog in our lives for ten years. We are LUCKY that he was the epitome of a perfect dog for a baby/toddler/family. We are LUCKY to have had a dog that touched so many lives and was loved by so many people.

Sure, it’s nowhere near the ideal situation; and we are devastated that our furbaby is so sick. But I am grateful to have had a couple of extra days to snuggle with him and to say goodbye. And I’m grateful for the outpouring of love and support from all of our friends and family. <3