Its a Hero

a mess of words.

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“Even in the presence of extraordinary pain, we were taking right action, we were attending to our practice, each in his own way.” -Meditations from the Mat.


There’s a lot on my mind, so I’m going to do my best to get it out. I’m guessing it will just come out as a mess of words…

So many things to do:
-Send my taxes out… (oops… way to procrastinate.)
-Go to the bank (something that is VERY simple, but also something I have been avoiding all week).
-Check out the Yoga Lounge in Hudson.
-Read, read, read. A passage everyday from Meditations from the Mat & the book Naked by David Sedaris. He is so witty. Both are something I need right now. A little inspiration. A little humor.
-Tickets to Ani Difranco? Not sure. April 24th at the House Of Blues in Cleveland… Anyone want to go?
-Register for a cooking class. Hopefully a couples cooking class… the least I could do is learn to cook something. No one could survive on cookies. Or could they…. 🙂
-Continue to run outside as the weather gets nicer. I hate treadmills and they hate me. I do, however, enjoy running outdoors. I’m running a race on Memorial Day with my friend Wyatt. Also running a leg in the Akron Road Runner Marathon this summer.
-Desperate to go to the Indians versus Red Sox game later this month (Go Red Sox!)

See? Nothing here but a bunch of unclear thoughts.

we are beaten and blown by the wind
blown by the wind
oh when i go there
i go there with you
it’s all i can do.
(u2)

It’s only Tuesday

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I woke up this morning and thought that it was Saturday… I was so confused. And then I realized it’s only Tuesday. What a BUMMER. Seriously. Work is crazy this week. I’ve been training the tech support guys for 7 straight days… via webinar. For those unfamiliar with webinar, all you need to know is that it sucks. Majorly. Nothing like being able to not at all see the responses and faces of those you are trying to train. So it’s as if I have been talking to myself for the last 7 working days, 8-hours a day. Which can get a bit boring.

I hope I wake up tomorrow and it really is Saturday.

a hard days work.

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Let me start by saying, I love my job. I love what I do. I’m only twenty-four years old and I have been with the same company for four years. I love what I do. I love the company. End of story. Almost.

I am finding it very difficult recently to do my job effectively. I am surrounded by a team of people who are intended to be my support structure. I feel like my support structure is a single ply piece of toilet paper that I am standing on with one foot over shark infested waters. Seriously.
My current position with my company is a stepping stone to much greater things. We all have to work our way there, and I realize this. But I am THISCLOSE to giving up. The team that I have so desperately wanted to be a part of is now disgusting me in every way, so that I want no part in it at all.
I know that I can be emotional sometimes, but I cried my eyes out during work today. I did not cry because I was angry or because things were not going my way. I cried because I felt lost. I felt alone in a room full of co-workers. I felt like the people that I trusted were using me.
No one should ever feel this way about their job. Especially when they put their heart, soul, and energy into what they do.
This being said:
I believe I have a phone interview for a new position early next week (in, guess where).
In the meantime, I will be focusing my time in energy in reading tonight and falling asleep (semi) early so that I can make it to power yoga in the morning (there’s nothing like 90-minutes of sweating your booty off on a Saturday morning).

“yoga is a lamp lit in the window of our home”

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I’ve been getting much more serious about my yoga practice lately. It’s connecting me to something within myself that is deeper than what you see on the exterior.


When I go to yoga I am in an 86 degree room with 40 people and I still feel completely alone and completely at ease. My eyes close as I perform my sun salutations to start the class, and I feel at peace (finally!). There could sometimes be a song blasting, the teacher speaking, people sweating on me, and pain shooting from every limb, but I still cannot help but feel incredible.
I have always been (for lack of a better term) appalled by religions that use scare tactics to get you to believe in something. Recently someone suggested I read the book “Meditations from the Mat.” I read the first passage today. The following really struck me.

“At a time when we could not feel further from home, yoga reminds us that we are already there, that we need simply awaken from our dream of separation, our dream of imperfection.”

I’m so excited for what’s to come… but remaining as present as possible.