Its a Hero

an attempt to organize (thoughts).

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1. finish this gosh darn training! grr! i’m tired of talking about telecom crap!

2. go to the bank. gotta finally do this. (so there’s really no reason that i’m avoiding this other than i’m lazy)

3. check out a new yoga class at the Yoga Lounge in Hudson. pretty excited to check out a new teacher.

4. very excited about my yoga masters class with Kinndli McCullom on saturday. should be different and challenging!

5. debating whether or not to go to the krishna das performance on monday.

6. having trouble concentrating on things of value (ie. life, money, ME). not sure why. i’m just really dazed. i blame it on stress.

7. did i mention i’m really looking forward to the yoga practices i have planned? seriously. very excited.

8. wanting to organize. big time. when i’m stressed or under pressure or need to relax, i have an urge to organize everything. if i had to self-analyze, i’d say that this probably comes from an urge to control the things that i can have some control over… or, in other words, i have an urge to control everything, but since i can’t control certain things in my life, i will control everything else.

9. i have an itch to get outside and enjoy this beautiful weather.

a mess of words.

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“Even in the presence of extraordinary pain, we were taking right action, we were attending to our practice, each in his own way.” -Meditations from the Mat.


There’s a lot on my mind, so I’m going to do my best to get it out. I’m guessing it will just come out as a mess of words…

So many things to do:
-Send my taxes out… (oops… way to procrastinate.)
-Go to the bank (something that is VERY simple, but also something I have been avoiding all week).
-Check out the Yoga Lounge in Hudson.
-Read, read, read. A passage everyday from Meditations from the Mat & the book Naked by David Sedaris. He is so witty. Both are something I need right now. A little inspiration. A little humor.
-Tickets to Ani Difranco? Not sure. April 24th at the House Of Blues in Cleveland… Anyone want to go?
-Register for a cooking class. Hopefully a couples cooking class… the least I could do is learn to cook something. No one could survive on cookies. Or could they…. 🙂
-Continue to run outside as the weather gets nicer. I hate treadmills and they hate me. I do, however, enjoy running outdoors. I’m running a race on Memorial Day with my friend Wyatt. Also running a leg in the Akron Road Runner Marathon this summer.
-Desperate to go to the Indians versus Red Sox game later this month (Go Red Sox!)

See? Nothing here but a bunch of unclear thoughts.

we are beaten and blown by the wind
blown by the wind
oh when i go there
i go there with you
it’s all i can do.
(u2)

It’s only Tuesday

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I woke up this morning and thought that it was Saturday… I was so confused. And then I realized it’s only Tuesday. What a BUMMER. Seriously. Work is crazy this week. I’ve been training the tech support guys for 7 straight days… via webinar. For those unfamiliar with webinar, all you need to know is that it sucks. Majorly. Nothing like being able to not at all see the responses and faces of those you are trying to train. So it’s as if I have been talking to myself for the last 7 working days, 8-hours a day. Which can get a bit boring.

I hope I wake up tomorrow and it really is Saturday.

a hard days work.

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Let me start by saying, I love my job. I love what I do. I’m only twenty-four years old and I have been with the same company for four years. I love what I do. I love the company. End of story. Almost.

I am finding it very difficult recently to do my job effectively. I am surrounded by a team of people who are intended to be my support structure. I feel like my support structure is a single ply piece of toilet paper that I am standing on with one foot over shark infested waters. Seriously.
My current position with my company is a stepping stone to much greater things. We all have to work our way there, and I realize this. But I am THISCLOSE to giving up. The team that I have so desperately wanted to be a part of is now disgusting me in every way, so that I want no part in it at all.
I know that I can be emotional sometimes, but I cried my eyes out during work today. I did not cry because I was angry or because things were not going my way. I cried because I felt lost. I felt alone in a room full of co-workers. I felt like the people that I trusted were using me.
No one should ever feel this way about their job. Especially when they put their heart, soul, and energy into what they do.
This being said:
I believe I have a phone interview for a new position early next week (in, guess where).
In the meantime, I will be focusing my time in energy in reading tonight and falling asleep (semi) early so that I can make it to power yoga in the morning (there’s nothing like 90-minutes of sweating your booty off on a Saturday morning).