lies i { regularly } tell my toddler.

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Let’s face it: as parents, we will totally take advantage of our small children. I mean, heck!, they owe us. They put us through the ringer with their “demands” and nonsense. It’s no wonder we (occasionally) tell them things that they do not know are false. Like, completely false.

My mother decided to point out to me how often I ‘lie’ to Moosh. So I compiled a list of my go-to ‘lies.’

• “They’re closed, baby!” I say this regularly for any place Moosh wants to go that we either: 1. do not have on the agenda; 2. do not have time for; or 3. do not have the patience for. This includes: Cafe O’Play (we pass it every day on our way home from the sitter). The Chick-fil-a play area (as we are sitting down eating and he’s watching other kids play). The movie theater. You get the picture. Pretty much every place he thinks is fun.

• “It’s all gone!” Yep. No shame in my food-game! If I don’t want Moosh to have something, I just tell him it’s gone. But I fear he’s catching on to me… He recently started asking “Let me see the ____.” Like, for proof.

• “It’s not working. / It needs batteries.” Toy? Needs batteries. Movie he wants to watch for the 800th time? Not working. I’m. Not. Sorry!

• “This isn’t candy; it’s medicine.” It’s especially convincing since I’ve been so sick during this pregnancy.

• “We’ll go tomorrow.” Biggest. liar. EVER. I most recently used this lie when I was trying to get Ari home from the sitter and he wanted to stop at the library. No, we didn’t go the next day. But I told him we would. Toddlers either remember things for months or forget them within seconds. So I was pretty much playing russian roulette. [PS. I won.]

How can I lie to this adorable face from these pictures?!? Easy. It’s lying for survival. And I’m not ashamed to say I’ll continue to do it until he catches on. I know I’m not alone, friends! Tell me, what are your favorite lies you tell your children?!