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Something amazing happened yesterday. I didn’t expect it. It wasn’t major. But it changed me.
Without getting into the nitty gritty details, almost 9 years ago, just as my husband and I started dating, a few incidents occurred with another person. This person was, by all accounts, a stranger to me. But was a friend of my husbands (boyfriend at the time). Again, I realize I’m being vague, but I’m doing so on purpose. But know this — it didn’t involve any form of cheating (after reading the first few lines, I realize that this could easily be incorrectly assumed); it was just a psychological incident to which I was an innocent bystander. And for many years, it caused me a good deal of anxiety.
I constantly wondered if we would run into this person. If so, was I equipped to emotionally handle it? Randomly I would have nightmares about her and the situation.
But, over the years I thought about it less and less. Time heals all wounds, right? Well, that’s what I thought. Until recently when this person randomly walked into a gymnastics class I’m teaching with her son. I was.. caught off guard. I texted my husband and he said, “She probably doesn’t even know who you are. Relax.”
And yesterday, after about 10 weeks of interacting with her and talking with her and getting to know her and her son (and feeling like a total phony for staying at arms reach), I finally spoke up.
I said, “Okay. So. There’s no way for me to say this without me sounding like a crazy person.”
Immediately she smiled as if she knew exactly what I was going to say. So I said it. Well, I said it kinda wrong, but I said it.
And she literally breathed a sigh of relief. She said “I know who you are. I just didn’t know if you knew who I was. And I’ve owed you an apology for many years. I wasn’t in a good place and I’m very sorry.”
And we hugged. And I told her that Chad always said we would get along swimmingly, and that over the last 10 weeks, I knew he was right. But that the air needed to be cleared.
But then she said something that really surprised me… she thanked me. She thanked me for clearing the air and being braver than she was by bringing up the elephant in the room.
And THAT — that was what really got me. Both of us had been tiptoeing around an uncomfortable situation. We both had agonized for years over something that haunted us, but it took this single act of bravery and humility (on both of our parts) for us really to be at peace with the situation.
What if I had never spoken up? What if I had never gone far beyond my comfort zone and approached her about the elephant in the room? And I started thinking about every other thing I’m emotionally holding onto and how much it’s holding me back from truly enjoying life.
While there’s nothing like a random Tuesday morning slap-in-the-face from the universe, there’s also absolutely nothing like a giveaway, am I right!?
*Disclosure: I received one pair of Freshly Picked moccasins in exchange for a giveaway. As always, all opinions are my own.*