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Something amazing happened yesterday. I didn’t expect it. It wasn’t major. But it changed me.
Without getting into the nitty gritty details, almost 9 years ago, just as my husband and I started dating, a few incidents occurred with another person. This person was, by all accounts, a stranger to me. But was a friend of my husbands (boyfriend at the time). Again, I realize I’m being vague, but I’m doing so on purpose. But know this — it didn’t involve any form of cheating (after reading the first few lines, I realize that this could easily be incorrectly assumed); it was just a psychological incident to which I was an innocent bystander. And for many years, it caused me a good deal of anxiety.
I constantly wondered if we would run into this person. If so, was I equipped to emotionally handle it? Randomly I would have nightmares about her and the situation.
But, over the years I thought about it less and less. Time heals all wounds, right? Well, that’s what I thought. Until recently when this person randomly walked into a gymnastics class I’m teaching with her son. I was.. caught off guard. I texted my husband and he said, “She probably doesn’t even know who you are. Relax.”
And yesterday, after about 10 weeks of interacting with her and talking with her and getting to know her and her son (and feeling like a total phony for staying at arms reach), I finally spoke up.
I said, “Okay. So. There’s no way for me to say this without me sounding like a crazy person.”
Immediately she smiled as if she knew exactly what I was going to say. So I said it. Well, I said it kinda wrong, but I said it.
And she literally breathed a sigh of relief. She said “I know who you are. I just didn’t know if you knew who I was. And I’ve owed you an apology for many years. I wasn’t in a good place and I’m very sorry.”
And we hugged. And I told her that Chad always said we would get along swimmingly, and that over the last 10 weeks, I knew he was right. But that the air needed to be cleared.
But then she said something that really surprised me… she thanked me. She thanked me for clearing the air and being braver than she was by bringing up the elephant in the room.
And THAT — that was what really got me. Both of us had been tiptoeing around an uncomfortable situation. We both had agonized for years over something that haunted us, but it took this single act of bravery and humility (on both of our parts) for us really to be at peace with the situation.
What if I had never spoken up? What if I had never gone far beyond my comfort zone and approached her about the elephant in the room? And I started thinking about every other thing I’m emotionally holding onto and how much it’s holding me back from truly enjoying life.
While there’s nothing like a random Tuesday morning slap-in-the-face from the universe, there’s also absolutely nothing like a giveaway, am I right!?
*Disclosure: I received one pair of Freshly Picked moccasins in exchange for a giveaway. As always, all opinions are my own.*
I love the textured brown moccs! And a little less practical but I love the camo too!
Great post and fab giveaway:)
Kudos to you for being the bigger and stronger person! Situations like that are so hard and awkward. I will try to remember this advice if I am ever in a similar situation!
What a beautiful story of grace and bravery.
Tamara @ Parenting 2 Home Kids
Thank-you for this story. It seems that sometimes the smallest thing can make the biggest difference. When I saw the title of this post I thought it would be about decluttering stuff. In a way this decluttering of thoughts and emotions can make an even bigger difference.
Absolutely loved this! I definitely needed this beautiful little reminder (and a couple deep breaths) this morning. 🙂
It’s amazing the things that take up space in our thoughts. How relieving for both of you! It’s certainly a gift. Thank you for sharing!
I am honestly in tears reading this. “to let go of things that do not serve a purpose and to accept more of what does.” My brother died at the beginning of this year, and that has been my motto every since. Life is to short to hold to things that don’t hold a purpose.
I love Freshly Picked! The Flower Power are my favorite.
You are much braver than I would be in the same situation. I tend to ignore things till they go away.
Corey | The Nostalgia Diaries
It feels so freeing to stop carrying weight around like this. Here’s to being brave!
I love love love the Marbled Rose pair!
Charissa | thenotsobusymom
These mocs are so cute!! My kids are too big for them, but I have a friend who is expecting. They would make a great gift!!
And thank you for sharing your story. How often do we hold onto things unnecessarily? Too often!
This is such a beautiful story! I love this mantra!
I absolutely loved this! I firmly believe in “letting go” and the way you described it and expressed it on this post is truly eye opening and inspiring. Thanks for sharing such a wonderful and brave story!
It’s always hard to be the person that brings it up for several different reasons. I find the main reason I have trouble with it is that I don’t know how the person is going to react. I think it’s amazing you were able to bring it up, and amazing also that she was so receptive. Hopefully, I’ll have the courage to do so, if I’m on either end of a similar situation.
Erica @ Coming Up Roses
PERFECT idea here. You’re so right. If it’s not serving us for good, we can’t let it sit around and serve us negatively!
Coming Up Roses
Wow… good for you! Stepping outside your comfort zone is hard to do… I’m not sure if I would have had the guts to do what you did.
My favorite moccasins are the textured weathered brown .
Such a beautiful story! Love it! Yes, let it go or let it serve a purpose!
Belle | One Awesome Momma
I’ve been in similar situations. Bravo for choosing courage.
Vicki @ Babies to Bookworms
Wow, what a great lesson for life. We spend so much of our time worrying about things when we don’t have to!
Amanda | My Own Unexpected Journey
Life can be so crazy! What a blessing though, that you both found one another after so many years, so that you could make amends and have closure.
Good for you for clearing the air! Glad it turned into a positive experience!
I’m so glad you handled it so kindly and courageously! From your account it sounds like it was a weight off both of your chests.
Such a great reminder and love the giveaway!
Sincerely Miss J
You are so right! In order to move forward, we must let go of our past. 🙂
Such a great giveaway! Adorable mocassins!
Sincerely Miss J
I agree a 100% if it doesn’t serve it’s purpose or makes you happy, let it go. <3
Wow. What an amazing post. I have had a similar experience that I need to get rid of too. Working up the courage…
What a mature and TRUE revelation. I could personally learn to practice more of this in my life. I am naturally a grudge holder ( I can’t help it!) but I could definitely put more effort into letting negative things go.
I’ve had a similar experience. I don’t think I will ever have a chance of clearing the air, as we now live hours away. But I can imagine your anxiety when you saw her that first class. If I ever happen to run into my similar experience, I will try to remember your post and be brave!
Amen! That’s my mantra this year. Trying to pair down and live with what I want not with what everything thinks I need.
Thank goodness for growth. I have so many situations that I can walk away from with my head held high thanks to life lessons.
Glad to see you’ve come to a place of peace.
I love the heirloom and platinum 🙂
I love that it was resolved in such a peaceful way!! And I’m so glad you spoke up – that can be so daunting.
This is so powerful. Love these moccs too!!
I love this story. Thank you for sharing. The moccasins are also adorable, I love the flower power.
I love the platinum because it would go with so much!:)
The dalmation moccasins are so cute!
You had a lot of courage! Good for you for saying something.
I’m so glad that you were able to clear the air and let go of the past. XOXO
Beehive State ?
Wow this really spoke to me. Our lives can feel so weighed down when we choose to carry things we were never meant to carry. Thank you for this honest story.