This post may contain affiliate links
When I first became a mom nearly 7 years ago, I felt completely lost. I came home from the hospital and expected my baby to act like a ‘normal’ baby — you know, the babies that all of the moms are posting on their Facebook pages about? So when that didn’t happen, I was distraught. I vividly remember calling my friend Sarah and crying. Crying about the adjustment and crying about the fact that no one told me just how hard it would be.
See, my first baby did not sleep through the night. Nor did my second. Nor does my third. And despite what my Facebook friends would have me believe, it is absolutely normal for your baby to wake in the middle of the night.
I repeat — it is normal for your baby to wake up in the middle of the night!
For those moms in the back, your baby is normal!
I wish someone would have told me that the highlight reel I was viewing on Facebook was the extraordinary rather than the ordinary. Instead, I was inundated with “I can’t believe so-and-so has slept through the night since day 1! I’m so #blessed!” It left me feeling entirely defeated. I truly thought my baby was defective.
The highlight reel of social media left me feeling defeated. I thought my baby was defective because he didn't sleep through the night. Click To TweetBut, it turns out, he was normal. He just wanted to eat and be held, as all newborns do. In fact, according to research, only 57% of babies stay asleep for 8-hours straight by one year of age.¹
So for those of us with babies that wake to feed or be comforted in the middle of the night? That’s a 1:00 AM wake-up…. and/or 3:00 AM… and/or 5:00 AM. And lack of sleep can make even the not-so-hormonal people just a tad bit crazy.
Here I am, at 8 months with baby number three, and I can confidently say I somehow survived the deepest, darkest moments of sleep deprivation. I was not a “hashtag blessed” mom with my babies sleep. I was the opposite. I struggled. I cried. I, GASP!, even screamed.
But I also have spoken out about my struggles. And when I did, something magical happened. I learned that many others struggled with getting their babies to sleep at night. I breathed a collective sigh of relief. It may be a little true that misery loves company, but there is also a mutual support and understanding that comes with this kind of misery. The solidarity of knowing that I wasn’t on this journey alone was enough to really push me through.
So, Mama, I see you.
I know your struggles. I know you’re trying. I know you cry. And I absolutely know you’ll make it through.
In the meantime, if you need someone to talk to, to vent to, or to cry to… I am here.
Mallorie Owens
Thank you for writing this! It’s so important for new moms to hear this.
Maggie Unzueta
This is really an interesting and important topic. Every mom should read this.
Mimi
That honestly sounds terrifying, I have insomnia so it’s already a struggle to fall asleep, if I have to get up and fall back asleep every few hours I don’t even know how I’d do it.
Paula @ I'm Busy Being Awesome
Thank you for sharing your struggles. They will definitely help some moms out there who aren’t #blessed 😉
Laura Adney
This is so important to share for the new mommas!
Emma
YES!! It is so important for moms to know this. Between my two boys, one has always been a horrible sleeper and the other has been pretty decent. I think babies sleeping through the night depends on many factors and it kills me when I read a mom asking FB groups about sleep consultants/training for their babies who are less than 6 months old.
When my oldest was a baby, we got chastised by a pediatrician at his 4mo well visit because I was nursing at night. He insisted our child shouldn’t be doing that and we should start sleep training ASAP. We tried weaning him and getting him to sleep through the night during the 4 month regression. It was a disaster of a nightmare!
I refused to go back to that doctor and the pediatrician we saw at my son’s 6 month appointment told us that it’s totally normal for a breastfed baby to wake 1-2 times a night until they’re about a year old. I realized after I weaned him that he would only take enough milk from a bottle to stave off hunger while I was at work, so he was actually trying to catch up on calories at night!
Michelle Cantu
Great post. It’s hard to understand baby sleep patterns. Although they sleep a lot night time can be the worst when we actually need the sleep.
Athena
None of my kids ever slept through the night. Our fifth child was the worst – boy I still (even at 14) call her my 2 hour child. She falls asleep in an instant – like a switch. But then she wakes up in two hours and can’t fall back to sleep for two hours – and the cycle goes on and on.
Princess Quinn
I know it is hard! My baby didn’t sleep straight until she is one. It’s good to know that we are not alone in this struggle.
Jacqui Odell
Yes. All four of my kids didn’t sleep great at night! It’s very normal.