Its a Hero

true story

the power of “NO.”

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It’s taken me a long time, and a lot of years, to realize that I had the power to say “no.” A few years ago I had a goal of saying “yes” to everything I was asked to participate in for two weeks or something like that. But that was pre-kids, pre-marriage, etc. Life was much more… flexible. I felt an urge to get out and get involved. And to, well, people please, to put it frankly.

So what’s changed, besides the obvious? Well, having a family means we are pretty much ‘automatically’ signed up for a bunch of things. Sure, we want to do these things; but it also leaves me craving time where I’m not doing a darn thing! We are just plain ol’ burned out from life.

Enter: the great NO challenge.

It’s not that I’m giving myself a timeframe to say no to everything I’m asked to socially commit to; but I’m giving myself permission to say “no” as needed — without an excuse.

“No” really shouldn’t need an excuse. Sometimes, just, no.

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I love all of my friends, I truly do. I love seeing them and hanging out. But when life is super busy, sometimes the healthiest thing you can do for yourself is to schedule time to be “busy doing nothing” in your planner. I’ve done this before and it’s helped tremendously. I’ll black out a weekend on the calendar and tell Chad that we’re “busy doing nothing” all weekend so we can’t make plans.

Do you feel like you could say “no” if you truly just don’t want to engage in something? I suggest looking at it differently: Know your priorities and the value of your time. When a friend or relative asks something of us, we have to decide where our time is best suited.

It’s taken me a while to know where my time is valuable. For me, it’s with my husband and son. Or heck, even by myself! It’s hard to juggle time with young kids in the home; but knowing when you need a few minutes to yourself can be life-saving to you and your relationships.

For example, this co-sleeping thing has had me at my wits end at times. I feel like Moosh is constantly attached to me. One night, after 3.5 hours trying to get him to sleep, he just wouldn’t. I was tied to him. The next day I had one request: I asked Chad if he would handle bedtime solo so I could have a few minutes alone, even if it was just to check my email/blog/twitter and watch one episode of trashy TV from the DVR. I’m so grateful that I asked him for help. I like to pretend I’m super mom and can do it all, but sometimes we need to just step back and ask. And because of this two hours I had, I ended up feeling refreshed and rejuvenated!

Seriously. Because sometimes the act of saying “no” is truly empowering you to say “yes” in other aspects of your life.

So by all means, this holiday season or this New Year, feel empowered to say NO when you need it — sans guilt!

co-sleeping // the good, the bad, and the reality.

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Before I get into this, let me just say that I have zero comment on the hazards and benefits of co-sleeping, so please do your own research. That being said, I can almost guarantee that within your first few years of parenting, you will end up with a child in your bed.

I remember our first time. Mostly because it was our first night at home after leaving the hospital after having Ari. We (safely) co-slept with a co-sleeper thing in our bed. It was out of necessity for us. I was having a hard time nursing and I was flat out terrified of what our first night at home would bring. We did this for the first few weeks before we got into our routine (which, admittedly, wasn’t any better, sleep-wise, for me and Chad).

Since then we’ve found ourselves co-sleeping at random times: when Ari is sick and we want to keep him close to us; when we are visiting relatives and staying in a new place, and, most recently, when Ari wants to sleep in “mommies bed.”

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The good thing about co-sleeping is that I can keep a close eye on him when he needs it, and admittedly when we need it, most. The bad, and oftentimes downright ugly, part of co-sleeping, whether you do it regularly or sporadically, is that no one but the baby/toddler seems to get any actual sleep.

And, in reality, my baby won’t always want to sleep in ‘mommies bed.’ He’ll grow up and want to distance himself from me (and from us, in general). So in the meantime, I’ll take a couple of sleepless and restless nights here and there. Especially if that means I get to watch him sleep. Especially if that means for 5 minutes (of 8 total hours), he is wrapped up in my arms. And I’ll treasure those fleeting moments. Because they won’t last forever. ♥

So before you ‘pass judgment’ on a mom (new, old, or otherwise) for posting about sleeping with their kid, just take a deep breath and remember that we’re all just trying to survive.

Blogging // Authenticity // and the Truth

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I created my blog years ago as a space and an outlet for me to share the happenings in my life with myself and a few people who may actually read it at the time. Over the years it transitioned from me being single and living in Syracuse; to Chad and I dating; to us living 6-hours apart and dating long-distance; then to us moving in together; and then to us getting married and starting a family.

Along the way it’s remained a place where I share my hopes and my dreams; my passion for creating a healthy lifestyle (while being completely honest with myself and the world about continuing to seek balance throughout the process); local events and happenings; and the everyday hum-drum of my life.

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One thing that has changed over the last 7.5 years is opportunity. Blogging has created enormous opportunity in my life. I’ve met some incredible people in-real-life thanks to friendships created over the internet and social media — because I put myself out there. I’ve been around people from all different walks of life that I wouldn’t have met otherwise; and for that I’m incredibly grateful.

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Blogging has also brought me a teeny bit of financial opportunity via sponsored and reviewed posts. And while that hasn’t quite been a life-changing amount of extra income, it certainly has helped. I don’t do them often and they seem to come in waves where I have months without an offer and then two at a time.

However, this is really and truly none of anyones business. In fact, the great thing about the internet and social media is that we are all free to share what we want. But we are also free to see what we want. We can follow whoever we’d like on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook; and we choose to follow those that we don’t align with. When you open a blog, follow a person on twitter, or engage in social media, YOU ARE PROVIDING CONSENT TO WHAT YOU ARE SEEING, whether you agree with the subject matter or not.

I received a nasty comment in regards to losing my authenticity of blogging with my recent sponsored posts yesterday. I have not yet approved the comment; but I’ve also not yet denied it. (Sidenote to people who leave fake or anonymous info: IP addresses don’t lie). It hurt. It shouldn’t have, but it did. The words didn’t exactly hurt; but the idea that someone would go out of their way to be nasty to another person? that is something that in my 30 years I have YET to wrap my head around.

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Here’s the truth: I’m not always authentic. None of us are. But — dammit! — I try my hardest to do so. I put myself out there — the good, the bad, and the ugly parts that no one else has the balls to talk about. I’m a hard working mom. I’m a full-time employee for a huge company (to which I’ve been employed for the last ten years). I am a partner to my husband. We run a household together. And we try to work in some fun in our spare time. And in addition to that? I share parts of it here on my blog. Because each of us chooses what and with who we share things; each of us crafts an online persona; and that isn’t being inauthentic — it’s simply just a piece of our true selves.

So basically thanks for the perspective on my blog, commenter. 🙂

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movie review: the town.

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BF and I have pretty much created a Monday night ritual. It’s $5 Bargain Movie Night at the Cleveland Cinema affiliate theater, Plaza Cinemas at Chapel Hill.

But I definitely have come to look forward to these little date nights of ours.

Well last night we saw The Town. It was pretty good. It wasn’t my favorite movie of all time {cause let’s face it, nothing beats Transformers}, but it was definitely worth a watch.

It was difficult at times to keep my full attention and I could have done with it being slightly shorter, but the acting was good. Ben Affleck, Jeremy Renner AND {most importantly} Jon Hamm? I was in heaven. Absolute.heaven. {If heaven was a place where people only talked in the thickest Boston accents known to man, that is.} So the movie was worth a watch. I’d give it a solid B+.

True story.

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