totally awkward tuesday

Ya know what’s Totally Awkward (Tuesday)? When you’re in a public place and you fall. I’ve done it before. But so have people that I was with. For instance, a friend of mine from college and I were walking through the mall in Buffalo NY. Just chatting away talking about nothing in particular… when it happened.

She was carrying a lot of bags. They all went flying in the air over her head.

She crash landed on her bum.

And both of us just looked at each other.

And started cracking up.

Sometimes things that are awkward and embarassing are also funny. And there’s no harm in that!

It’s gonna be a short Totally Awkward Tuesday today! Why? Cause I’m lazy and I have to get to work. I’ve been up since 4:30 for the gym and I’m running late now (not too late that I couldn’t just down a HUGE bowl of Lucky Charms, but whatev).

When I was home visiting BF this weekend we decided to play a little putt-putt. We started out behind a group of four people… they were awful. And they must be pretty bad for me to say that, cause I am not at all good (nor do I claim to be good) at putt-putt. But all four of them were bad. Like, every hole hit the max bad. But that wasn’t the frustrating part.

The frustrating part was that two 17-year old girls got in line behind us. Wait. Let me rephrase. Two 17-year old girls got awkwardly close behind our butts. Seriously.

BF knows me fairly well to a T. He knows what makes me happy, but also what annoys me to no end. Not obeying the ‘rules of public space’ is my numero uno peeve.

I bit my tounge.

But by hole 3, BF looks at me and says “They don’t really get the whole concept of personal space, huh?” To which I was relieved that it wasn’t just me who noticed. He said that he felt he better say something because he knew it was killing me.

Hole 10. Or at least I think it was that hole. Who knows. Anyways, it’s this really weird hole with a giant waterfall contraption in the middle of it. You can’t really see if the people ahead of you are finished. So BF and I putted away. As soon as we both teed off (umm not quite), these girls walked pretty much all the way up to where we were putting. This just pushed me over the edge. I looked at the one girl and said “We can just let you know when we’re done.”

And the girl said… “Oh no. That’s ok.” Like “no big deal.”

UMMM yes. On top of them being unusually up in our space, they kept talking really loud about all of these high school things. WE.DON’T.CARE! Grr.

All we wanted to do was play a little putt-putt, but it was ruined by two annoying high school girls.

Am I just overly sensitive to people? Or does anyone else feel that there are social rules of public spaces that need to be obeyed?

This weekend I saw some old friends from college. So this weeks Totally Awkward Tuesday will be dedicated to the awkwardness that is… college. More specifically, college roommates.

Freshman year was great. But sophomore year I decided to stay with a new group of girls. They were really nice, but one of them, ehh, I wasn’t so thrilled about. But whatever, we needed a fourth roommate.

So we moved in to this townhouse type dorm. There were two rooms (two people per room), a dining area, a full kitchen and living room. Not a small space, but not enough, that’s for sure. The 4th roommate (whom I wasn’t all that thrilled about) decided mid-semester to break up with her long time boyfriend and date a total Dirtbag. Dirtbag and 4th Roommate were dirty together. Not just in the naughty way, but in the dirty leave-my-underwear-in-the-kitchen way. But also in the naughty way. Which is disrespectful when living with other females.

Well, one day 4th Roommate comes out of the bathroom giggling. We asked her what her deal was. She said “There’s blood in my pee. I think I have chlamydia.”

Not funny. Gross. So to mostly spare you the roommate drama, I moved out. My new roommates helped me move my stuff out. My last words to 4th Roommate were during a screaming battle.

My last words “Bye, slut! Good luck with the chlamydia.”

OK, not my classiest moment, but required. And awkward. The whole situation.

It is, yet again, Tuesday! I am much more excited about Tuesday than I normally am. Why? Because I have a vacation day tomorrow. BF and I were supposed to knock off Cedar Point from my 101 in 1001 list, but it looks like rain. And Cedar Point is no fun in the rain. So we are still taking the day off from work (hence, the excitement) and will find ourselves doing some other fabulous activity!

I’m starting to really enjoy Mondays. Well, at least the Monday night part of the Mondays. Mondays happens to be discount movie night at the local theater. I usually pick movies like Transformers 2 or something else that reminds me I’m more of a dude than a chick. But last night I wanted to see The Ugly Truth. So away we went. It was funny. But I cried (why I’m not even sure). BF thought “ehh it was alright.” Which means ‘I don’t want to rain on your parade but it sucked.’ Oh well! Five dollars worth of a movie it was!

But back to Tuesdays! The other reason that I am so excitable about Tuesdays is Tova’s Totally Awkward Tuesday posts!

So the subject of my post is appropriately inappropriate. Seeing as how I am leaving my current position at Big Company, I might as well poke some fun. Right? Sure I can justify anything (like buying those TWO iced coffee tumblers from Starbucks.com last night…).

My current position at Big Company is a techie-like position (I say techie-like because I pretend to be super technical but ask other people to hook my computer up–yes I’m capable, I’m just lazy). We hire people to answer calls and make calls about tech related issues. I am their oh-so-humble techie trainer (I know, funny, right??). Big Company is known to hire the most socially awkward people. Ever. I have a very relaxed personality and like to crack jokes. Even at my own expense. Just to make people smile. Laugh. Giggle. Or just not frown. Well, it turns out these dudes do not know what that is. Or at least are not used to hearing a chick crack a joke.

Let me tell you, it is way worse working with a bunch of socially awkward dudes than it is to work with a bunch of catty women. UGH. These dudes are so crabby all the time! Did I mention that I am one of the only females that work in this office? Yeah. Totally fun (these are the same people that cannot approach a girl outside of a fox costume, remember).

Another important note is that I have an expertise in an area that most do not. They need a lot of help in this particular area. This makes me a very in demand person at work. I understand that working in an environment of mostly men I must be careful in what I wear and how I say things. I would hate for something to be misconstrued. Unfortunately, as hard as I try, they seem to misconstrue something or make comments that are just downright awkward.

Comments like, “Rachel, Rachel. I need you. Please help? You love me, right?”

“Uh yeah. No.” I say this. I say no and I laugh at them (notice I didn’t say with, it’s definitely an AT laugh).

They, apparently, eat. this. up.

I walk out of the room and someone will tell me that “So and so said this when you walked away.”

Super. Super gross, that is. And way to make it awkward since I’m the only one that can answer these questions. UGH. Oh well. Only 5 days left after today, right?

{image courtesy of mustseemovies.com}

This weeks edition of Tova’s Totally Awkward Tuesday is a little different for me. It’s not exactly one particular story. It’s like the story of my life (ok, being slightly dramatic I suppose).

So what is it about being in your mid-twenties that makes people assume that I must be pregnant every time I have an ache or pain? I mean, I have had severe food allergies (like a gluten allergy) for quite some time. It makes me ill. A lot. In the morning, afternoon, evening. Always. But it seems like every time I get a freakin’ hangnail, someone will say “maybe you’re pregnant.”

How about this. Maybe, just maybe… it’s just a hangnail. No?

It.Is.Annoying. Just yesterday one of my (female) co-workers noticed that I was taking frequent restroom breaks. She said “You know, you have to pee a lot when you’re pregnant.”

I replied with, “You know, you also have to pee a lot when you drink 8 huge glasses of water a day.” Just a thought.

So besides it being super annoying, it also freaks me out. While someday (a long, long time from now) I would like to have a child (notice I said a child. as in only one please), now is not that time for me. I am not ready at this point in my life. The rebuttal for this seems to be “it’s never a good time,” or “that’s what I thought when I had my precious angel,” but really, I am going to spend some time without an 18 to 20 year commitment for a while first.

So the next time I:
– look like crap or that I’ve had a rough morning;
– complain I have a stomach ache or say I feel sick;
– get up to go to the restroom;

please, please, please, hold your tounge. There is no need to tell me I might be pregnant. Just because I’m a young, healthy, female with a boyfriend does not mean I am itching to have a little one, nor does it mean that I’m fertile enough to get knocked up (Oh yes, I said knocked up) from a suggestive stare in my direction.

Please and thank you!