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the world

unintended lessons for my toddler // AKA thanks, random stranger

December 22, 2015 by Rachel 2 Comments

Dear Old Cranky Woman at the Cable Store:

I wanted to say thank you for reminding me that while everyone else I ran into yesterday was sweet and kind, there are still people who will be bitchy to strangers for absolutely no reason.

While Ari and I were minding our business, waiting our turn, you decided to ask my shy toddler a series of questions. Easy questions, yes. Like, “How old are you?” to which, he responded, “free.” Which is shy toddler speak for “three.” After he politely said hello to you and answered your serious of questions, I repeated what he said, for clarity purposes (I recognize that young parents are generally the only people who can properly translate toddler speak… plus he was being shy so it was a near whisper).

After you asked a series of other questions, you said “Maybe you can answer instead of MOMMY doing everything for you.” I ignored you. ‘Cause ain’t nobody got time for that. And? See above.

But when my very well-behaved toddler asked to watch a movie on Mommies phone (after waiting patiently in his stroller for 15 minutes without so much as a peep), I decided to abide. I pulled up the sweetest and most educational show on Netflix, Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood. Another patron noted that her niece loves Daniel Tiger! I told her that we’re watching the episode about Daniel getting a new baby sister, in hopes to prep him for ‘the big change.’

Dear, dear, old lady… this is where you piped in, “I don’t think he’s going to care about his sister when he has all the TV to watch!”

Dare I say it, but oh-so-typical, old lady judgy talk… just days before Christmas, at that! YOU, dear lady, are the exact opposite of the person I try to be everyday.

And although I owe you ZERO explanation, here is what you DID NOT see:

  • My 3-year old has a cough from his Reactive Airway Disease (aka toddler asthma). He’s not been sleeping well; thus, his parents have not been sleeping well.
  • Despite his cough (and his Mommy getting only 2 hours of sleep), we both awoke at 7am to tackle the day.
  • The very well-behaved toddler you saw had already endured a trip to the grocery store and a doctors appointment without so much as a peep! That was two hours before our encounter.
  • This was the single errand I was dreading, since it was to my former employer (albeit, not the location I worked) and I had just been “let go” several days prior, at 35 weeks pregnant.

IMG_1191
So thank you, mean old lady. You served as an example for my child; an example of how rude and condescending a person can be; an example of how NOT to behave to strangers.

Lucky for you, I just brushed our encounter off without a word. Because, let’s face it, you would have thought my behavior to be “typical” if I had said anything rude to YOU. Right? “Typical young person being rude to the elderly.” But no. No, that’s not the case. Let’s just call it the Christmas spirit. Or lack of fight. Regardless, I hope whatever miserable existence you have for this week is nothing like our encounter. If it is, I feel very sorry that that’s the kind of life you lead.

Sincerely,

A stranger with a lot to be sad about, but the one you see with a smile. Also known as The Mom who is doing a damn good job.

Filed Under: #MomLife, Ari Davis, children, Christmas, family, gratitude, holidays, inspiration, karma, life, life with a toddler, mommyhood, Moosh, opinions, optimism, parenthood, pictures, the world, thoughts Tagged With: #MomLife, ari davis, being a mom, children, Christmas, family, holidays, inspire!, karma, life, life with a toddler, mommyhood, Moosh, motherhood, optimism, parenthood, pictures, thoughts

neurotic + overwhelmed

April 20, 2013 by Rachel 1 Comment

I’ve been completely avoiding social media this week. In times of crisis, I tend to shut down mentally + emotionally.

And this week was no exception.

I was overwhelmed with emotion. And thoughts. Oh, the thoughts!

My outlook has changed dramatically since Ari was born. I’ve always been the paranoid type, but something about the responsibility of caring for another human is unnerving.

For instance, a couple of weeks ago I was at the gym, working out, and the video feed I was watching on my iPhone went out. No cell signal at all. Zero.

My first thought was completely irrational — something had happened, like a nuclear bomb had hit the US and knocked out all cell signal.

Yes. That is the first place my mind went. Neurotic. I’m aware.

At this point in my life my biggest fear is something bad happening and not being with my baby.

Some days it’s paralyzing. I didn’t expect to feel so overcome with anxiety all of the time as a parent, but it’s my new reality.

I just want Ari to be safe. And if he isn’t? Well, then I want to be with him when the s*** hits the fan.

The reality check of this week made me count my blessings even more.

Each night after work, I picked up Ari and headed home; I kept my computer shut and just focused on spending time with my family — in savoring each moment with them; I [mostly] stayed off twitter, email, blogs and facebook. I just couldn’t stop hugging my baby.

I know I can’t keep my family completely safe. So instead I’m going to love them hard and hope for the best.

 

Filed Under: the world Tagged With: family, thoughts, tragedy

on hate, religion, and recent events: my opinion

January 13, 2011 by Rachel 5 Comments

Hate. Hate for each other;
 hate for people you don’t know;
hate for an entire demographic of people.
I just don’t get it.

And nothing upsets me more.

Whether it be homophobes lining the streets
to scream obscenities about life, God, and marriage;
or a woman from a completely radical church
justifying the killing of an innocent nine-year-old girl.

{Tweet from @Dear Shirley, a member of the Westboro Baptist Church, explaining why a 9-year-old girl was rightfully gunned down in Saturdays shooting}

I truly do not understand it.
And it makes me terribly sad.

I’ve always been sensitive about these issues.
My mom tells me stories about how when I was a kid
I used to hide during recess
and cry to her when I got home, asking,
“How can all of these kids be so happy
when bad things are happening in the world?”

I agree, I didn’t have a very sheltered childhood full of rainbows;
I had to learn at a very young age that
very bad things happen and there is really no rhyme or reason for it.
More disturbing thatn the recent events in Arizona
{and it was extremely disturbing}
is the fact that hatred is so strong amongst some people
that they would go as far to say that
these people deserved to be killed.

I know that since this came out in the news,
they have decided they will broadcast from a radio program
rather than protest at the funeral,
but I’m still completely disturbed that protesting
would even be an option.

This blows my mind.
I haven’t been able to completely function
these last couple of days
because I am so distraught by the hatred that some people have.

Here I am:
I don’t believe in religion.
I’m not sure if I believe in a god.
But I believe in being kind and living by the golden rule.
I believe in equal rights and equality for all people.
I believe that marriage of all people,
gay or straight,
is a right in this country.

{image}

And I would be seen as someone who is not a good person,
not only by this radical church,
but also by many people I know
who are against equal rights;
and gay marriage;
and who think I’m missing something in my life
because I don’t have god or religion.

But I believe in something stronger than religion.

I believe in being a good person
and acting to others
as I would want them to treat me.

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Filed Under: about me, life, opinions, religion, the world

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