sick

“Christmas just doesn’t work out for me.”

December 27, 2016 by Rachel 1 Comment

This, my friends, is a tale of Christmas. While I watched joyous friends and acquaintances posting pictures of their Christmases on Facebook, we were knee-deep in cleaning. I mean that quite literally, as I decided to wash the carpets in our house on Christmas Day.

Because, well, our Christmas didn’t work. Heck, it never seems to work out. Someone is always sick. This year it was Ari. He started throwing up again overnight on Friday. Yep, just a week and a half out of getting over the stomach bug, he started vomiting yet again. And he wouldn’t stop.

He hasn’t stopped, yet, actually. And it’s now Tuesday. (Yes, we are taking him to the doctor today).

But late Saturday night we decided to go ahead and celebrate Christmas on Sunday anyways.

Ari and Chad were passed out on the living room floor and I managed to wake up in the middle of the night with enough time to set all of the presents up around our tree.

Sunday morning Ari awoke and didn’t even notice at first. Once he saw his stocking, he was so excited. Unfortunately, that was short-lived. We ended up making it through gifts, but with lackluster results. His much-anticipated Hatchimal has yet to be hatched; no Hot Wheel cars have been played with; and absolutely zero candy has been eaten. The only thing he wanted to do was watch movies and sleep.

After deep-cleaning the house while they all rested, I decided I just needed to get out for a bit. There’s only so much sickness and cleaning a mama can take. So Remy and I headed to Starbucks — her in PJs, me without an ounce of makeup. I just didn’t have it in me to care.

Heck, I still don’t have it in me to care!

Remy loved people watching on our little outing. And Mama loved sipping on hot coffee — and the break from cleaning!

At the end of the day, Chad and I half-jokingly quoted an infamous line from The Polar Express when little Billy says “Christmas just doesn’t work out for me. Never has.” I believe that it’s our new holiday Mantra. Sure, maybe someday we’ll look back on botched Christmases and laugh; but for now I’ll be wallowing in my sorrows as I drink from the Guzzle Buddy my husband so graciously bought for me.

And I’ll wonder, for the next 363 days, if we will ever have our picture-perfect Christmas. Only time will tell, I suppose.

Weekend Wrap Up //

June 9, 2016 by Rachel Leave a Comment

I mentioned yesterday that I got really sick on Friday afternoon. Truthfully, I was feeling a bit ‘off’ on Friday morning. I thought it was from just lack of sleep. Turns out, I had a ‘bug’ of sorts.

I took both kids upstairs to my bed and turned on the TV. I thought if I could just get Ari to relax and watch a movie and get Remy to nap, I would be OK. But Ari wouldn’t stop talking. And Remy wouldn’t stop screaming. So I called in the big guns — Chad. I kindly asked begged him to come home early from work so I could dry-heave in silence.

He obliged. Thank G-O-D. Seriously. If I could have told Ari to shut up, I would have. But he would have told me “We don’t say that! That’s a bad word!” Truth, kid. Truth!

So I spent from 1pm Friday through Saturday morning in bed. And even then, I wasn’t feeling 100%. So I woke up late. I handed Remy off to Chad for a little while. And then when I finally woke up, we all headed over to Home Depot for their kids’ workshop.

Ari usually makes Chad do all of the work for him, but this time he actually used the hammer himself!

It was adorable. Straight up… adorable!

And then we napped. Cause, exhaustion.

Post-nap we gathered the kids and went to a graduation party. I still wasn’t 100%, but I was feeling OK-ish enough to go.

PS. I totally didn’t believe my husband that Bob Seger was at this party. He was at another party with us (3 years ago) and I was like “haha, yeah. Ok.” and he said the same thing this time. And I was convinced he was messing with me. I thought “OK. It’s just a dude with the *name* Bob Seger, right?” But no. It’s the actual Bob Seger. I guess the first time I just didn’t know I was meeting Bob Seger. Cool, right? Well, my mom thinks so. 😛

Regardless, Ari wore himself out. Completely.

And we were all asleep by 8:30. #MomLife

Sunday we didn’t do a darn thing. Except, of course, go to Earth Fare.

We love Earth Fare. We especially love Earth Fare when they have BOGO deals. And Remy loves to be worn at Earth Fare.

We did the BOGO deals hard, friends. HARD. And then we passed out (well, everyone else did. I, on the other hand, made meatballs at midnight and cleaned the whole house.).

Regardless of illness, it was a glorious weekend. Truly, glorious.

And yes, I realize that it’s now Thursday and I’m posting my weekend wrapup. But, hey,… life, ya’ll. Life.

pregnancy update //

November 5, 2015 by Rachel 1 Comment

I feel a LOT of pressure. And no, silly, not emotional or mental pressure… (although, truthfully, there is a bit of that). But lots and lots of pressure… pelvic pressure! I’ve asked my doctors and, although I don’t recall having this kind of pressure this early with Ari, it’s apparently normal. Oi.

I’m still sick-ish. Yep. I’m back at work! But I’m still feeling kind of ‘off’ some days. Still throwing up on occasion. It’s definitely better than it was; but not great by any means.

Sleep is a thing of the past. I mean, I’m sleeping, mostly. But I’m tossing and turning when I’m asleep, so it’s incredibly restless. I remember experiencing that with Ari, too; but it was much later in the pregnancy.

Oh, have I mentioned that I’m officially 29 weeks?? So that means I’m also officially in the third trimester! Home stretch, here we come!

I’ve only gained a few pounds this pregnancy. Shocker, I know. Turns out having no appetite and throwing up frequently means instead of looking 7+ months pregnant, I look 5ish months pregnant.

This girl is a mover and a shaker!! It’s probably because she is sitting much higher than Ari was, but I can feel flips all day (and all night) long. After my pregnancy with Ari, I couldn’t understand how movement and kicks could be painful. I mean, I felt them with Ari — lots of them — but I guess not like this! HOLY SMOKES. She’s an acrobat!

I cannot wait to meet her. First time around, I was petrified. Knowing what to actually expect postpartum is a lifesaver. And as difficult as I know it will be, I can’t wait for her to be here. With Ari I wanted to keep him baking for as long as possible (and he totally got the memo at 41 weeks); but this time I’m cool with her making an appearance a little early. Though, likely, that will not happen.

TMI alert… my boobs are leaking already. Seriously. I forgot how much “fun” this part is. Ha. I forgot I would need nursing pads before the baby is born. Sigh.

i am my own worst enemy // but it will all be okay

September 23, 2015 by Rachel 1 Comment

Sometimes I get in my own head. I start to panic because it’s pretty much the worst place to spend a significant amount of time. I am THE BEST at doomsday scenarios, in every facet of my life. Seriously. I can jump from nothing to worst case scenario in 2 seconds flat. It’s a horrible feeling.

So when I play “worst case scenario” over and over again in my head, I literally have to talk myself off that proverbial ledge. I’ve been extremely stressed during this pregnancy. In addition to the major sickness, I’ll just burst into tears because this is not how life should be. And I’m missing a lot of work because of it. And that has me stressed out, like, beyond words. I just feel like none of this should be this way right now.

But wasn’t I just preaching in my mantra for this week (which, I’ll admit, is more for me than anyone else), that worrying just sucks the joy from today? Yes, yes I was.

Regardless of the many of the several doomsday scenarios I think of, I will be OK!

… I will still be alive.

… I will still have my health.

… I will still have this baby in my belly.

… I will still have my husband, who very much loves me.

… I will still have Moosh and his relentless toddler love.

… I will still have a roof over my head.

… I will still have food on the table, morning, noon and night.

In the same way that I can be my own worst enemy, I am also good at talking myself off the anxiety ledge. And if I just can’t manage to do it, I’ll reach out to someone who will do it for me. ♥

And everything will be okay.

And yesterday, someone on the internet reminded me that we survive even our worst days. And it’s true. And if you need that reminder today, or if you know someone who does, I’ll leave you with my favorite quote:

a bumpdate! 17+ weeks!

August 16, 2015 by Rachel Leave a Comment

OK, so compared to when I was pregnant with Moosh, I have been seriously slacking in the documentation of this pregnancy. Perhaps that’s because there hasn’t been much to document, other than the nonstop illness.

But other than the hyperemesis, this pregnancy has been healthy. Well, at least for the baby!

The Bump — This is my first bump picture of this pregnancy. And yes, I had to take a picture of just the belly. Do you know what the face of someone who throws up 7+ times a day looks like?? Not good, friends. Not good.

I’m officially 17.5 weeks pregnant, throwing up an average of 7 times a day (still), and somehow I’ve managed to gain 3 pounds.

Cravings — Not much, really. But when hunger strikes (and it isn’t haunted by vomiting), I desperately want fruity Toaster Strudels or Annie’s Shells + Cheese. Seriously. It’s weird. Much different than my beef craving last time around!

Aversions — No true food aversions, though I find meat that is warm to be a little gross (think like a hot hamburger). As far as other aversions, I have been gagging while brushing my teeth. I can’t manage to brush them without throwing up. Ugh.

Stretch Marks — The old ones have come back with full force! Ha! I’m not worried though. For whatever reason, they don’t bother me at all.

Sleep — My medicine for my hyperemesis makes me incredibly drowsy (they are literally heavy sedatives). Which means I sleep heavy. But I also wake up many, many, times to throw up. Blah.

Movement — I’ve been feeling movement for weeks now! It’s exciting to know what to look (and feel) for this time! And this kid can move! Can’t wait to start feeling this baby even more!

What I’m Looking Forward To — Our anatomy scan is in just a couple of weeks. I can’t wait to find out if I’ll continue being a #boymom, or if I’ll have to juggle bows + dresses, too!

the truth about this 2nd pregnancy //

June 30, 2015 by Rachel 1 Comment

My pants started to get tight prior to even finding out I was pregnant. Which totally made sense once I found out I was pregnant. However, that happens FAST with a second pregnancy! Dang! People weren’t kidding!

Morning sickness that lasts all day and taking care of a crazy ass toddler is hell on Earth. I know it shouldn’t last forever, but when you’re in the thick of it, it’s hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I’m trying to figure out HOW my boobs are going to get even bigger as pregnancy progresses and then after delivery. HOW is that even possible!?

Speaking of boobs, I have to wear two sports bras — TWO!! — when I run.

And speaking of running, I actually have continued to run. With Ari, I could barely walk without peeing myself. But this time around I’m staying active. In fact, walking/running intervals has been the one thing that reduces my nausea. Walking is definitely the easier of the two. Sometimes running makes my stomach churn. Yuck! However, I have run TWO races since finding out I was pregnant — a 5k and an 8k.

I can’t put words together into sentences. Mom brain has kicked in mega hard and mega fast. I couldn’t remember the word WHEELCHAIR. Instead? Instead I called it “a big person stroller thing.” Yep. That happened. With someone who didn’t know I was pregnant. And I didn’t even know them well. Suuuuper.

More updates to come. Oh and blog posts that aren’t about pregnancy… Once I can get my pregnancy brain wrapped around the English language again. Ha.