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postpartum

Maternal Mental Health Matters: Quit telling moms they’re overreacting

February 9, 2021 by Rachel 11 Comments

I first became a mom 8 years ago. Before I became a mom, I had the perfect vision of what type of mom I would be. You know, the kind of mom that doesn’t yell, only serves their kids organic foods, and has zero temper. Well we all have plans on the type of parent we are going to be before we have kids. But kids have a way of humbling us. And as a ‘seasoned’ mom of three kids, I have advice for all of the advice-givers: quit telling moms they’re overreacting.

Maternal Mental Health is fragile

Did you know that one in 8 women experience postpartum depression? I did. Because I became one of those statistics. And it hurt me to my core to come to grips with this fact. I knew I was supposed to feel a tremendous amount of joy after the birth of my first child; but, instead, I felt an unimaginable anxiety and disappointment. And, while this might not be the case for every mom, we are doing all moms a disservice by pretending that any one stage in a child’s life is “easy”. Every single stage in a child’s life comes with its own set of difficulties and setbacks.

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But, perhaps, a mom has a very bad infant stage or toddler stage. In those fragile moments, a mother may be at her breaking point. I myself have been there. She may be questioning if she can do this at all. Why perpetuate the myth that others are doing it (or handling it) better than us?

“You’ll miss this someday”

I cannot tell you how many times I was told this. By the grace of God I decided to have a second baby. Our first was so colicky and my postpartum anxiety was out of control; but we still decided on a second baby. My luck? Our second infant was worse than our first. Unbeknownst to us, she had been dealing with chronic UTIs from about 6 weeks to 9 months. She would scream (and, I kid you not) for 22-23 hours a day. That left approximately 1-2 hours of (broken) sleep in a 24-hour period. How does a newborn even survive on that? No idea.

Quit telling moms they're overreacting

But I will tell you what, I almost did not survive that.

In fact, I can vividly remember three times that I almost self-admitted to the hospital because of psychological issues. And, I don’t take that lightly. I was at least cognitive enough to realize, in that moment, that if I checked myself into the hospital, it would be a disservice to my child physically (she wouldn’t take a bottle).

But the suicidal ideation remained. Even through my existing anxiety and depression medication, motherhood had taken its toll. And I cannot tell you how many times I heard “someday you’ll miss this,” and thought about how I must be a failure — because I could not imagine missing this moment.

Whether its infancy or toddlerhood or adolescence, it’s all difficult

I recently engaged in a Facebook conversation on a mommy page (I know — that in itself is the problem). The original poster had created a poll — which is more difficult? The infant stage or the toddler stage. My initial gut-reaction was to answer the poll. Duh, infancy. And then I pulled back. I read the article in question. And, as I deemed this group an engaging and progressive group of moms, I decided to point out the obvious (to me) — this article is hella problematic.

First, it is entirely dismissive. I realize this was a tounge-and-cheek type of article. But, to quote the author , she slept — “Nevertheless, I felt clear-headed and was able to get good chunks of sleep both at night and during the day.” And a clear head is basically the key to keeping one’s sanity.

But one in 8 women don’t feel that way.

If you tell one of those women struggling to get up and take care of her baby that “she will miss this one day,” it may be the thing that pushes her to a breaking point. Suicide is one of the leading causes of death in new mothers.

And articles such as stated above — as well as the dismissiveness of others — can certainly compound on that feeling of hopelessness.

Please stop telling moms they’re overreacting

Here’s a thought — don’t tell anyone — not moms, not dads, not the lady at the grocery store — that they are overreacting. Let us all recognize that we are living a very narrow margin of the full spectrum of possibilities. If you wouldn’t tell someone with a physical ailment that they are overreacting, don’t say it to someone who is (potentially) suffering from a mental ailment. Period.

Filed Under: health, mental health, parenthood, postpartum Tagged With: health, mental health, parenthood, postpartum

Looking Back + Moving Forward: 2020

January 8, 2020 by Rachel 19 Comments

What. a. year! I keep seeing posts from friends regarding how 2019 was awful. I have to say, while we had some rough times, the good far outweighed the bad times.

Professional Life

2019 Summed Up

My professional life blossomed this year. It took a lot of hard work, including long hours and late nights. But I set big goals and surpassed my own expectations!

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Just over here cracking jokes with @clevelandbrowns alumni, Frank Stams! ? • This weekends Field Day event at Stow @gianteagle was SO much fun! We met Chomps, got a couple of autographs from Frank, and played Browns trivia for a chance to win tickets to a game. • Tell me — what has been your favorite Summer to Savor event at Giant Eagle this year?! . . . . . . #ad #Instafood #foodie #delicious #tasty #ohiofindithere #neofoodies #midwestbloggers #clevelandblogger #clevelandbloggers #ohiobloggers #cbusfoodscene #ohiofood #614eats #akroneats #akronblogger #gsmbsquad #rootandrise #614food #clevelandbrowns #clevelandbrownsnews

A post shared by Rachel L (@itsahero) on Sep 22, 2019 at 3:55pm PDT

2020 Goals

I’m going to push it even harder this upcoming year. I’m going to work smarter and harder. I may even hire some help (whether it be a VA or someone to help watch the kids one day a week while I work), which is huge for me!

I’m really excited to continue several partnerships and to take on a major undertaking with a local brand! It’s going to push me beyond my comfort zone, but I’m ready for it. Speaking of comfort zones, I really stayed out of photos this year. I featured mostly food, spaces, and my kids. But in 2020 I vow to be IN my content more! Stay tuned!

Personal Life

2019 Summed Up

Old House Stress

This year was a really stressful year for our little family. Chad spent most of his ‘spare’ time at our old house, getting it ready to be put on the market. This largely meant that we rarely saw him. The kids craved his attention in the moments where he was home and, well, he was just plain ol’ exhausted.

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Tomorrow! Tomorrow is THE day! . To be honest, I never imagined I would be part of the home-buying process. My husband purchased our current home long before we began dating, and I just assumed we would always make-do with our tiny, but cozy, home. . And then this all happened so suddenly. I fell in love with a century home just a block from our current home. And tomorrow we get the keys (even though I DID already sneak over and put this doormat out — in my defense the house is currently empty so I wasn’t creepin’ on anyone’s space). . Now let me go to sleep so tomorrow can come! ? . #imsobloggingthis #midwestbloggers #clevelandblogger #clevelandbloggers

A post shared by Rachel L (@itsahero) on Dec 3, 2018 at 3:28pm PST

Travel Time

The good news is that when he was around, we made the most of our time together. We took trips to Great Wolf Lodge, went camping at Jellystone Park in Pennsylvania, and even snuck in a trip to Kalahari!

We also (somehow) made it to Columbus several times as well as a trip to Kentucky! It was a crazy travel year, for sure.

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“I think I’m gonna kick it with my mom today.” ❤️ (Shirt courtesy of our favorite local shop, @reverie.gifts.xo) • In the last 24-hours that her two older siblings have been gone, she’s cut another tooth AND taken her first unassisted step! ? So yeah… I think she’s enjoying being the only little at home right now! ? • How’s your Monday going?! . . #reveriegifts #ohioblogger #clevelandblogger #clevelandbloggers #midwestbloggers #shoplocal #ohioexplored #exploreohio #cuyahogafalls #justakidfromakron #letthembelittle #letthembekids #rootandrise #cbusfoodscene #ohiofood

A post shared by Rachel L (@itsahero) on Jul 22, 2019 at 3:43pm PDT

Celebrations

We celebrated our final babies first birthday by throwing a big birthday bash at our forever home — our first real time hosting! It was a lot of work, but we were finally able to show our family and friends this incredible space.

The kids had so much fun playing in the yard and jumping on the trampoline.

2020 Goals

This year offers a fairly blank slate. I’d like to do some local travel ahead of our big trip to Hilton Head Island late this Summer. But other than that, we have no official plans.

I’ll be taking my kids on new adventures here in Ohio and exploring new neighborhoods in an effort to connect more with my community and to help nurture their curiosity.

Health

2019 Summed Up

Guys, I mildly failed at all things ‘health’ related this year. The stress of life and a serious time-management issue on my part resulted in very poor year of health and fitness for me. The one and only thing I did that is deserving of any credit is running the Pittsburgh Half Marathon.

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Wanna know a secret? You can be a social media influencer. YES YOU CAN use your influence to get discounts! With as little as 100 followers you can use your influence to get offers on LOTS of website offers. Go to the website in my bio to start getting awesome discounts from @localfluence. https://localfluence.com/offers-web?onboardSource=weboffers.itsahero.nov . . . . #ad #Local #BuyLocal #Instafood #foodie #delicious #tasty #craftbeer #craftbeerblogger #gsmbsquad #ohiofindithere #neofoodies #midwestbloggers #clevelandblogger #clevelandbloggers #ohiobloggers #cbusfoodscene #ohiofood #614eats #akroneats #akronblogger #akroneats #akrowdy #614 #clevelandfood #clefood #clefoodies #akronohio #rootandrise

A post shared by Rachel L (@itsahero) on Nov 8, 2019 at 4:22pm PST

2020 Goals

Things are changing. In fact, I’ve already started making changes. I’m being MUCH more conscious of my food choices and making MY health a top priority this year.

As cliché as it sounds, I am going to get back to my regular weight this year. For those of you who haven’t been following along since before this year, you’ll know that I used to be workout fanatic. I’ve lost some of my mojo thanks to pregnancy and kids, but I think I’ve figured out what I need to get my excitement back.

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Don’t let the fear of not being “good enough” hold you back from achieving your goals! . Today I finished my first postpartum race after having Mila and my second half marathon, the @pghmarathon . I was underprepared. Crazy, crazy underprepared. The days and hours where I should have been running were spent tending to sick children. . But I still got out there today. I still showed up. I realized in the wee hours of this morning that I CAN DO VERY HARD THINGS. HECK, I birthed three babies on very little sleep (and one without an epidural). So I knew my body was (and is) capable for more than I think. . So if you think “I could never do ___,” take a step back and give yourself some darn credit! YOU CAN DO HARD THINGS! . Thank you to @brooksrunning for helping me remember how strong my body truly is. . . #sponsored #runhappy #brooksrunning #2run6 #clevelandblogger #clevelandbloggers #midwestbloggers #MOVEpittsburgh #pittsburghhalfmarathon #pittsburghmarathon #ohioblogger #womensrunningcommunity #instarunners #runnersofinstagram #runningmom #runtoinspire #sweatpink #this_is_postpartum

A post shared by Rachel L (@itsahero) on May 5, 2019 at 5:27pm PDT

Try new things

As a previous obsessive yogi, it has been years since I was ‘active’ in the community. I’ve tried the at-home practice, but it just wasn’t my thing. A new studio opened in my town and I’m going to try their hot power classes!

I’m also signed up for an OrangeTheory Fitness class trial. Now, if only I could get my hands on a Peleton 😛

Get back on track

Having babies and adjusting to being a work-from-home mom four years ago really did a number on my nutrition. I was no longer tied to a desk. You would think working from home would offer more balance, right? For me it did not. I have struggled with the freedom and my diet has suffered.

Now that we are officially finished with having babies (and now that we’re through the newborn phase entirely), I’m able to get a bit of my life back. And, for me, that means getting back in control.

For me, it’s less about weight than it is about comfort. And I just haven’t felt comfortable in my own skin for the last few years. I do have a goal-weight, but it is not unrealistic. I’ve set an attainable goal for myself as a ‘big picture’ thought.

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These kids had a BLAST at @discover_pinecrest and @neohioparent Family Fun Day this week. They played HARD and I got a reprieve from the grind of parenting! ? • I’m so excited that Pinecrest is offering so many family-friendly events this Summer, including two more family fun days! Head on over to my blog post to read more about the fun events happening this summer! [link in profile] . . . #ad #clevelandohio #clevelandfood #clevelandblogger #clevelandbloggers #ohioblogger #midwestbloggers #cbus #216 #akrowdy #justakidfromakron #targetdollarspot #targetdoesitagain

A post shared by Rachel L (@itsahero) on Jun 13, 2019 at 5:47pm PDT

Writing it all out feels surreal. I cannot believe what this last year has brought our family (and I can’t believe we made it through). But I’m infinitely excited for what’s to come.

What goals do you have for 2020?

woman with wine glass in hotel

Filed Under: #GetFit, #MomLife, cleveland, family, fitness, goals, health, mommyhood, parenthood, postpartum, wellness Tagged With: #MomLife, family, fitness, goals, health and beauty, motherhood, parenthood, postpartum, wellness

Tomorrow, A Toddler

June 19, 2019 by Rachel 6 Comments

Tonight I kissed my last baby goodnight for the very last night she’ll be a baby. Tomorrow she will wake up and be ONE! A TODDLER! ??

This is a pretty bittersweet moment for me. I’m excited that we (pretty successfully) survived our first year as a family of 5, but I’m going to miss those newborn snuggles.

I also recently realized that I’m officially classified as a “seasoned mom” these days. People ask me for advice (though I’m quick not to give it) and my go-to message is this — Expect nothing and everything, all the time.

For instance, this photo shoot. I attempted it outdoors, and Meebs shot me down FAST. Then, during her nap time, I set it up downstairs. And she REFUSED to sit down. She was so clingy and as soon as I’d set her down, she screamed and cried and crawled to my lap. These are the best shots I got. And one of them has me in it (or at least my arm) ??‍♀️.

With that, tomorrow is a new day. And it marks 365 days since our family became complete. ❤️

Happy birthday, Mila Rose — Meebs. — Weebs. We love you a bushel and a peck.

Outfit courtesy of @reverie.gifts.xo — HANDMADE!

Filed Under: #MomLife, Baby., busy mom, children, family, mommyhood, Oh baby!, parenthood, postpartum, shop local Tagged With: #MomLife, babies, being a mom, busy mom, celebration, children, explore locally, explore Ohio, family, family friendly, mommyhood, oh baby, ohio, parenthood, shop local

One Year Out // My Third Postpartum Journey

June 18, 2019 by Rachel 3 Comments

It’s hard to believe that one year ago today I was… anxious. Anxious and excited. I was beyond ready to meet our final and missing piece. It would still be two more days of waiting before Miss Mila Rose made her way into the world. And I spent these days doing a lot of walking and a lot of impatiently awaiting the start of labor.

But let’s back up — because if you had asked me if I wanted to have any more children after Remy was born 3.5 years ago, I would have emphatically said “Hell to the no.” And I’m not certain what changed. But at some point, I realized that our family needed a little bit more craziness. Enter our 3rd (and final) pregnancy.

Looking back on those last moments as a family of 4, I realize that, although I was anxious, I was also calm. I was ready — perhaps more ready than I’d ever been to tackle labor. I knew my body was capable of handling a rough 24-hours or so, all to help this beautiful new creature enter the world.

But what I didn’t realize at the time is that my postpartum experience would be drastically different this third time around. I was heavily prepared to be on the struggle bus shortly after delivery.

When I was okay, I decided not to hold my breath. I was just waiting for the other shoe to drop. But it didn’t. At least, not really. Or not in the same way as before.

And as I round out these last couple of days with my final baby, I’m celebrating the fact that we did it — we made it through our last postpartum period. Hoorayyyy!! Now let me snuggle my last ever newborn for just a teeeeeensy bit longer! Thursday will be here before I know it. ♥ ♥

Filed Under: #MomLife, babies, baby girl, busy mom, children, family, mental health, mommyhood, Oh baby!, parenthood, postpartum, wellness Tagged With: #MomLife, babies, baby girl, being a mom, children, family, health, mental health, mommyhood, motherhood, oh baby, parenthood, postpartum, wellness

Dick’s Sporting Goods Pittsburgh Half Marathon 2019

May 17, 2019 by Rachel 6 Comments

Don’t let the fear of not being “good enough” hold you back from achieving your goals!

Nearly two weeks ago I finished my first postpartum race after having Mila and my second half marathon ever, at the Pittsburgh Marathon. I was underprepared.

Like, crazy, crazy underprepared. The days and hours where I should have been running were spent tending to sick children.

But I still got out there. I still showed up. I realized in the wee hours of that morning that I CAN DO VERY HARD THINGS. HECK, I birthed three babies on very little sleep (and one without an epidural). So I knew my body was (and is) capable of more than I think.

So if you think “I could never do ___,” take a step back and give yourself some darn credit! YOU CAN DO HARD THINGS!

Right now my body is still in recovery mode. The mud, sweat, and tears were totally worth that finishers medal (and the finishers beer!). YES, I’m proud of myself for physically finishing 13.1 miles. But mostly I’m proud of the fact that I mentally and psychologically could handle it. Postpartum baby number one and two, I could never have convinced myself to start, let alone finish. But this time my anxiety stayed far from that start and finish line.

That alone was worth the medal. So I’m going to consider this my freaking postpartum medal. And I goddamn earned it!

 

 

Filed Under: #GetFit, #MomLife, #SweatPink, 1/2 Marathon, Family Travel, fitness, health, postpartum, running, Travel Adventures, wellness, workout Tagged With: #GetFit, #MomLife, 1/2 Marathon + Running, Family Travel, fitness, health and beauty, postpartum, running, Travel Adventures, wellness, workout

Taking A Moment To Find Myself // My 3rd Postpartum Journey

May 13, 2019 by Rachel 13 Comments

I needed this Mother’s Day in ways that I cannot even convey to you. Just Saturday, I was a broken down mother — exhausted from the grind, full of self-doubt and self-pity. But late Saturday evening, I purchased a pass to Balance + Brews at Royal Docks in Canton.

Balance + Brews is a group of local yoga teachers that do pop up classes in craft breweries throughout Northeast Ohio. I’ve been meaning to show up for a class for years, but there was always a reason I couldn’t make it. In fact, this time I almost self-sabotaged — I almost decided not to go because I was afraid of going alone. But I bought the ticket anyway. I committed.

And as I was driving down the highway completely alone, blasting music from my college days, I realized… I needed this. I honestly cannot tell you the last time I went further than Target (which is about a half mile) in the car without a child.

And then to have a meal completely alone? It just sealed the deal for me.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my children. But the weight of always being “on” has really taken a toll lately. It took me until Sunday to realize just how much I missed being with my most authentic self. And in those moments of screaming singing Thursday songs at the top of my lungs, I made a vow to make myself a priority. Starting now.

So to all of the mama’s out there who are struggling to find their new identity, I see you. If you can, go ahead and take a drive, blast that music, and remember who you are.

And Happy (Belated) Mother’s Day.

 

Filed Under: #GetFit, Akron, brews + food, busy mom, children, cleveland, Columbus, Explore Ohio, fitness, gratitude, health, live happy, mental health, mommyhood, NEO, Oh baby!, pampering, parenthood, postpartum, restaurants + bars, yoga Tagged With: #MomLife, being a mom, brews + food, children, cleveland, columbus, explore locally, explore Ohio, fitness, food, foodie, health, health and beauty, life, Live Happy, local, mental health, mommyhood, motherhood, NEO, oh baby, ohio, pampering, parenthood, postpartum, restaurants + bars, workout, yoga

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