parenthood

Mental Health Awareness Month

May 3, 2022 by Rachel 8 Comments

It’s May! And that means that it’s Mental Health Awareness Month! For those of my audience who have been around for a few years, you’ll remember that I’ve been on my own mental health journey for the last 10-ish years. It all seemed to really come to a head when I had my first child. There was no longer a way to pretend that my anxiety and depression didn’t exist. Not when another life depended on me being present in every moment. But also, in that moment, I began my advocacy journey towards spreading mental health awareness.

My mental health journey

While my advocacy journey started 10 years ago, my mental health journey started long before that. Prior to having my son 10 years ago, I had gone almost my entire life with undiagnosed depression and anxiety. My family suffered the traumatic loss of my grandfather when I was young. And, due to the circumstances surrounding his death, it sent me into a bit of a spiral. I have vivid memories as a child of not understanding how so many kids were happy when there were bad things happening in the world every day. If that doesn’t scream depression, I’m not sure what does.

My depression and anxiety manifested itself in many ways over my adolescence, but it ultimately became unmanageable when I became a mother. I remember going to both my OBGYN as well as my primary doctor, in tears, telling them both that I just couldn’t go on any further. I’m lucky to have had physicians who listened rather than write it off as ‘baby blues.’

My postpartum depression and anxiety worsened the second time around. There was a point, at my lowest, where I considered taking myself to the hospital and checking myself in. I tell this story regularly, because it was a pivotal moment in my mental health journey. At the time, I said this out loud to a friend. And she responded with the following: “Just know – that if you do that, they WILL admit you.” In that moment, I realized I was cognizant enough to understand that as much as I thought I wanted that; I realized that, deep down, I wanted to be present for my new baby.

But I also understood that there may be a time where I could have responded with “I know and I’m ready for that.” This realization came with a lot of shame. But it shouldn’t. And the only way we’re going to move past the stigma of mental illness and mental health is by talking about it, openly, with others. One in 7 women will develop postpartum depression after giving birth. It’s well past time that we start talking about it. The lives of mothers depend on it.

Why speaking about mental health is important

The way we ultimately lose people to mental illness is by refusing to talk about it. The stigma surrounding those of us with mental illness is astounding. We talk about mental health not being a “casserole illness”. Meaning, it’s not a broken leg, or a heart attack — which you can visibly see someone struggling from. No one thinks of bringing the person going through a severe depressive episode a meal.

But we should. And the only way we are going to get to where both types of ailments are on the same page is to talk about them the same way. Truly!

Our children aren’t immune

You would think that as an adult who suffered as a kid, I would understand exactly what it’s like to mother a child with mental illness. But I don’t. In fact, even as a mother, I’m not clinically trained to deal with children’s mental health issues.

Childhood is tough. And perhaps the saying ‘children are resilient’ should be retired. Because, are they really? Or does our ‘resiliency’ as children later manifest itself as unhealed trauma?

Mental Illness Risk Factors

Like most diseases, mental illness can be hereditary. In fact, nearly 1 in 4 Ohioans struggling with mental illness. My dads side of the family has a history of mental illness, and now it’s a risk I’m passing on to my own children. But it doesn’t have to be something that is hidden. It’s important that we discuss family history of mental illness in the same ways we discuss family history of heart disease or diabetes. If you’re looking for more information on risk factors to mental illness, check out BeatTheStigma.org.

Resources You Need to Know

No one should have to go through mental illness alone. And, luckily, no one has to! You can visit FindTreatment.org for treatment options. You can also call the Ohio CareLine at 800-720-9616. If you’re in immediate danger and need a text resource, please text the mental health crisis line at 741741. Trained mental health professionals are standing by, day or night.

If you’re interested in taking a mental health screening, head here. You can find additional resources for children at OnOurSleeves.org.

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Back-to-School Food Made Easy with Simple Mills

August 11, 2021 by Rachel 13 Comments

It has been a minute since our lives have been “normal,” am I right?! In fact, the whole last school year was a complete wash when it comes to normalcy. I mean, I kept it as ‘normal’ as possible for my kids. We went from remote learning to full homeschooling. But, after months and months of trying to get my kids to eat the food I made for them, I finally found the perfect solution: Back-to-School Food Made Easy with these helpful tips!

Keeping it Simple + Knowing what’s in our food

Like many families, last year forced me to slow down. In reality, those months of staying home really helped me to focus on what’s important: the health of my family. I’ve never made more homemade meals in my entire life! I also began focusing a lot more on the ingredients that were in my kids so-called ‘healthy’ snacks. I was shocked to see so many additives and fillers in them.

Instead, we switched our snacking foods to Simple Mills from Meijer. Simple Mills Veggie Pita Crackers and Soft Baked Bars were the perfect addition to our mealtime routines and on-the-go snacking.

Change the way you introduce foods to your family

When we make lunch I offer it bento-box style. Or for a snack, I make a ‘spread’ of all different types of fruits, veggies, meats, cheeses, and Simple Mills snacks. I steer them in the right direction and then they get to make the actual decisions themselves.

Honestly, when I started doing this and giving them some authority to choose what they eat, my life changed! I was no longer arguing with them about finishing “5 more bites.” They eat as much as they want of whatever is offered. And it works every single time. Just by changing the approach to mealtime and snacks!

Keep it simple for back-to-school

Keeping the kids in control for back-to-school is just as easy! I use these easy snacking-type bento box containers and just pack those same items. And, even if (really, when) they bring home uneaten food, I’m confident in knowing that they still made good choices.

Be sure to pick up Simple Mills Soft Baked Bars and Veggie Pita Crackers (and use these Ibotta offers to save!) during your next Meijer trip!

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Investing in their future on 5/29 Day

May 25, 2021 by Rachel 18 Comments

If the last year and a half has taught us anything, it’s taught us that education and educators are a completely undervalued resource. In the last year, I went from being a preschool gymnastic instructor and heavily involved in our schools PTA; to being the sole educator for my children. And I’m not alone. As we approach the end of another school year, I want to reflect on how far we have come. But also, how we can look ahead by investing in their future on 529 Day (May 29!).

Education is multi-faceted

Education happens in so many ways. During this crazy time I’ve come to realize that our children are so resilient. Not only does their education come in so many forms, but they are able to learn even in the hardest of times. Playing outdoors, making kitchen science experiments, and even planting a garden are incredible ways of learning. My 8-year-old is even using digital ‘camps’ to learn new skills, like coding.

We’ve also gone way outside of the box by scheduling at-home animal visits! Regardless of how your children are learning, their education doesn’t have to be stressful. In fact, many of those hands-on learning skills will be incredibly helpful in their higher education.

Two-Year, Four-Year, or technical school?

My kids are still relatively young. My 8-year-old still wants to code for a job. But my 5-year-old wants to be a princess. I know that as their schooling continues, they will develop new interests. And, whether they choose a 4-year, 2-year, or technical school, they will be set because we invested in Ohio’s 529 Plan for each of them.

A 529 Savings Plan is a lot like a 401k. It’s an easy, tax-friendly way to save for your children’s higher education. Ohio’s 529 Plan can be used across the country for 2-year and 4-year programs as well as technical schools. Fun fact: Ohio’s 529 Plans can be used to fund your education nationwide — not just in the state of Ohio. And withdrawals from your plan are tax free when used for eligible education expenses.

INVEST IN YOUR CHILD’S FUTURE WITH OHIO’S 529 PLAN on 529 Day

May 29th, or “529 Day,” is a day to highlight the importance of higher education. Regardless of your child’s age, opening an account with Ohio’s 529 Plan right now is the perfect way to invest in their future education. And there are so many reasons not to wait.

Using the College Saving Planner you can see how an investment of any amount today can truly help cover the cost of schooling later! Additionally, the Cost of Waiting Tool will help you figure out how much money you’ll need to save the longer you wait to start. So whether or not they still want to go into coding or become a lawyer, you’ll be in a much better financial position to help them succeed with higher education.

IT’S SO EASY TO GET STARTED

There are only a few things you truly need to start Ohio’s 529 plan.

Your ID, social security number, telephone number, address, your date of birth, and your mothers maiden name.
The telephone number, social security number, address, and date of birth of your successor (someone to take over the account should something happen to you).
And lastly, the date of birth, telephone number, address, and social security number of the person you’re saving for.

That’s it. Easy peasy, right? Exactly.

So why not take this change in season to reevaluate the future of your children’s education. Open an Ohio 529 Plan today!

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31 Day Self Care Challenge

April 23, 2021 by Rachel 8 Comments

The past year has done a number on all of us. I know find myself riding a roller coaster. Some weeks I feel like I have it all under control; other weeks I am struggling in every way possible. Each day of this 31 Day Self Care Challenge I’ll give you a simple actionable task that you can do. Whether it’s starting your morning off on the right foot, or sneaking in a workout for the day, after 31 days you’ll be amazed at the difference in your mood.

Self Care Week ONE

Day 1

Wake up 30 minutes early and sit in silence or with your favorite podcast.

Day 2

Make a list of at least 5 things you’re grateful for.

Day 3

Do a brain dump on a pad of paper, a notepad in your phone, or even in a Google doc.

Day 4

Make your favorite recipe (or your favorite meal from a takeout restaurant!).

Day 5

Rewatch your favorite movie.

Day 6

Spend 15 minutes organizing any space in your home (I recommend going through the junk drawer!).

Day 7

Aim to drink at least 64 ounces of water today.

Self Care Week 2

Day 8

Unplug from social media for one full day.

Day 9

Learn a new skill.

Day 10

Create a vision board.

Day 11

Go through old photos.

Day 12

Pick up that book you’ve been meaning to read and get started.

Day 13

Try your hand at a new recipe.

Day 14

Write down a list of personal long-term goals.

Self Care WEEk 3

Day 15

Catch up with a friend or family member by phone.

Day 16

Learn a new skill.

Day 17

Bake your favorite dessert.

Day 18

Take a long, relaxing bath with a bath bomb.

Day 19

Move your body with a NEW workout!

Day 20

Binge watch your favorite (or new) TV show.

Self Care Week 4

Day 21

Treat yourself to ice cream.

Day 22

Take yourself out on a solo date.

Day 23

Break out the coloring books and take some time relaxing with some crayons (or colored pencils)!

Day 24

Take a nap — you deserve it!

Day 25

Go for a 20-minute walk by yourself today.

Day 26

Write a friend a letter and send it (yes — snail mail!).

Day 27

Dress up and take some selfies (even if you have nowhere to go!).

Day 28

Plan your dream vacation (even if it’s just a dream).

Self Care Final days

Day 29

Plan a night in for yourself.

Day 30

Make a new playlist.

Day 31

Do a digital cleanse by clearing out old files, upload photos to the cloud, and clear out your phone and laptop.

Self-care doesn’t always come easy for busy moms, but this challenge will allow you to find those pockets in your day to sneak in some time for yourself.

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How to build consistency in your homeschool routine

March 14, 2021 by Rachel 12 Comments

One area that many homeschool families struggle is with consistency. Even from just doing this for a short period of time, I know it’s true. Being constant with our schooling is an important factor in keeping things going smoothly. And also for reaching their educational goals and milestones. Building consistency in your homeschooling routine can help build consistency in your everyday life, too! Here are a few ways you can help to build consistency in your homeschool routine.

Prioritize the must-dos

Choose a few subjects that absolutely must be done daily. For most families, this will include reading and math. If you do nothing else, do those two (or three) subjects. Build up the constant habit of daily reading and math time with your children as early as possible. These easy tasks will lay the foundation that will help keep your days running smoothly. Even if your homeschool day is a short one.

Healthy Habits build routines

Building consistency is all about building healthy habits. Create a new habit each month and add it to your family’s day. These tiny changes will turn into healthy habits that will stick around.

How to build consistency in your homeschool

Healthy habits, like incorporating walks, extra outdoor time, hikes, or art time, will help the kids and you. Knowing these things are built into your homeschool day will make everyone more willing to do the less-than-fun things.

Don’t overload your days

Something I learned early on is that it’s really easy to overload your homeschool day. You’ll think you’re not doing or teaching enough. So you’ll add more and more tasks on, but it doesn’t get done; nor does it make your day any easier. Overloading your day will only overwhelm you. And, honestly? You’re less likely to get anything done that day.

Instead, plan the minimum you need to get done and if everyone is up for more or wants to explore something new pull out the extra work and get ahead. If you do plan out a full schedule try not to look at it for the day until you and your children are ready to dive in to prevent that feeling of overload.

Set rewards for consistency

We decided, as a family, to set rewards for a straight week of consistency. We track our consistency on a chart, earn rewards individually, and as a group. It helps to keep us all accountable. These goals can be things like a family trip to Target on a Sunday morning (the kids personal favorite). But having bigger, monthly goals is helpful, too. Plus, it gives us something to look forward to. This will help fuel each days efforts — even on days where not everyone is feeling the lesson plans.

Track your progress

Truly seeing progress in your child’s learning can be a big encouragement to stick to consistency day after day in your homeschool. It’s true for both the teacher (mom or dad) and the kids. Personally, I wasn’t sure my Pre-K daughter was learning enough. Day after day of sight words seemed to just be hum drum. But that consistency? It paid off the moment she said the first word before I had a chance to say it!

It was a game-changer. Honestly. I felt like we had been in an endless loop of sight cards. And then one day it just clicked.

Plan intentional days off

When burn out starts to kick in it is easier to stick with it when you know you have a break coming up. Be sure to plan regular breaks at regular intervals with your family. These breaks can line up with your local schools so that your kids can spend time with friends; or you can do your own thing on your own schedule!

When all is said and done, just make homeschooling a priority and have semi-set hours. Flexible and consistent is key. Make priorities, stick to those priorities, and find consistency in the rest.

Tell me — what’s your key to staying consistent with homeschooling?

Maternal Mental Health Matters: Quit telling moms they’re overreacting

February 9, 2021 by Rachel 12 Comments

I first became a mom 8 years ago. Before I became a mom, I had the perfect vision of what type of mom I would be. You know, the kind of mom that doesn’t yell, only serves their kids organic foods, and has zero temper. Well we all have plans on the type of parent we are going to be before we have kids. But kids have a way of humbling us. And as a ‘seasoned’ mom of three kids, I have advice for all of the advice-givers: quit telling moms they’re overreacting.

Maternal Mental Health is fragile

Did you know that one in 8 women experience postpartum depression? I did. Because I became one of those statistics. And it hurt me to my core to come to grips with this fact. I knew I was supposed to feel a tremendous amount of joy after the birth of my first child; but, instead, I felt an unimaginable anxiety and disappointment. And, while this might not be the case for every mom, we are doing all moms a disservice by pretending that any one stage in a child’s life is “easy”. Every single stage in a child’s life comes with its own set of difficulties and setbacks.

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But, perhaps, a mom has a very bad infant stage or toddler stage. In those fragile moments, a mother may be at her breaking point. I myself have been there. She may be questioning if she can do this at all. Why perpetuate the myth that others are doing it (or handling it) better than us?

“You’ll miss this someday”

I cannot tell you how many times I was told this. By the grace of God I decided to have a second baby. Our first was so colicky and my postpartum anxiety was out of control; but we still decided on a second baby. My luck? Our second infant was worse than our first. Unbeknownst to us, she had been dealing with chronic UTIs from about 6 weeks to 9 months. She would scream (and, I kid you not) for 22-23 hours a day. That left approximately 1-2 hours of (broken) sleep in a 24-hour period. How does a newborn even survive on that? No idea.

But I will tell you what, I almost did not survive that.

In fact, I can vividly remember three times that I almost self-admitted to the hospital because of psychological issues. And, I don’t take that lightly. I was at least cognitive enough to realize, in that moment, that if I checked myself into the hospital, it would be a disservice to my child physically (she wouldn’t take a bottle).

But the suicidal ideation remained. Even through my existing anxiety and depression medication, motherhood had taken its toll. And I cannot tell you how many times I heard “someday you’ll miss this,” and thought about how I must be a failure — because I could not imagine missing this moment.

Whether its infancy or toddlerhood or adolescence, it’s all difficult

I recently engaged in a Facebook conversation on a mommy page (I know — that in itself is the problem). The original poster had created a poll — which is more difficult? The infant stage or the toddler stage. My initial gut-reaction was to answer the poll. Duh, infancy. And then I pulled back. I read the article in question. And, as I deemed this group an engaging and progressive group of moms, I decided to point out the obvious (to me) — this article is hella problematic.

First, it is entirely dismissive. I realize this was a tounge-and-cheek type of article. But, to quote the author , she slept — “Nevertheless, I felt clear-headed and was able to get good chunks of sleep both at night and during the day.” And a clear head is basically the key to keeping one’s sanity.

But one in 8 women don’t feel that way.

If you tell one of those women struggling to get up and take care of her baby that “she will miss this one day,” it may be the thing that pushes her to a breaking point. Suicide is one of the leading causes of death in new mothers.

And articles such as stated above — as well as the dismissiveness of others — can certainly compound on that feeling of hopelessness.

Please stop telling moms they’re overreacting

Here’s a thought — don’t tell anyone — not moms, not dads, not the lady at the grocery store — that they are overreacting. Let us all recognize that we are living a very narrow margin of the full spectrum of possibilities. If you wouldn’t tell someone with a physical ailment that they are overreacting, don’t say it to someone who is (potentially) suffering from a mental ailment. Period.