Its a Hero

optimism

unintended lessons for my toddler // AKA thanks, random stranger

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Dear Old Cranky Woman at the Cable Store:

I wanted to say thank you for reminding me that while everyone else I ran into yesterday was sweet and kind, there are still people who will be bitchy to strangers for absolutely no reason.

While Ari and I were minding our business, waiting our turn, you decided to ask my shy toddler a series of questions. Easy questions, yes. Like, “How old are you?” to which, he responded, “free.” Which is shy toddler speak for “three.” After he politely said hello to you and answered your serious of questions, I repeated what he said, for clarity purposes (I recognize that young parents are generally the only people who can properly translate toddler speak… plus he was being shy so it was a near whisper).

After you asked a series of other questions, you said “Maybe you can answer instead of MOMMY doing everything for you.” I ignored you. ‘Cause ain’t nobody got time for that. And? See above.

But when my very well-behaved toddler asked to watch a movie on Mommies phone (after waiting patiently in his stroller for 15 minutes without so much as a peep), I decided to abide. I pulled up the sweetest and most educational show on Netflix, Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood. Another patron noted that her niece loves Daniel Tiger! I told her that we’re watching the episode about Daniel getting a new baby sister, in hopes to prep him for ‘the big change.’

Dear, dear, old lady… this is where you piped in, “I don’t think he’s going to care about his sister when he has all the TV to watch!”

Dare I say it, but oh-so-typical, old lady judgy talk… just days before Christmas, at that! YOU, dear lady, are the exact opposite of the person I try to be everyday.

And although I owe you ZERO explanation, here is what you DID NOT see:

  • My 3-year old has a cough from his Reactive Airway Disease (aka toddler asthma). He’s not been sleeping well; thus, his parents have not been sleeping well.
  • Despite his cough (and his Mommy getting only 2 hours of sleep), we both awoke at 7am to tackle the day.
  • The very well-behaved toddler you saw had already endured a trip to the grocery store and a doctors appointment without so much as a peep! That was two hours before our encounter.
  • This was the single errand I was dreading, since it was to my former employer (albeit, not the location I worked) and I had just been “let go” several days prior, at 35 weeks pregnant.

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So thank you, mean old lady. You served as an example for my child; an example of how rude and condescending a person can be; an example of how NOT to behave to strangers.

Lucky for you, I just brushed our encounter off without a word. Because, let’s face it, you would have thought my behavior to be “typical” if I had said anything rude to YOU. Right? “Typical young person being rude to the elderly.” But no. No, that’s not the case. Let’s just call it the Christmas spirit. Or lack of fight. Regardless, I hope whatever miserable existence you have for this week is nothing like our encounter. If it is, I feel very sorry that that’s the kind of life you lead.

Sincerely,

A stranger with a lot to be sad about, but the one you see with a smile. Also known as The Mom who is doing a damn good job.

reflections on 30 //

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I would be lying if I said that this past year was anything but rough. Sure, it had plenty of good times; but it also had quite a few rough patches. I’ve been sick a lot. Like, a LOT. Yes, with this pregnancy, but also before that. It’s been an odd year of ups and downs as far as my health is concerned. Lucky for me, Moosh has been pretty healthy (minus one small childrens’ hospital scare).

In an effort to remind myself of what happy times happened in my 30th year of life, I went through my pictures. It turns out, YES, amongst the craziness of the last 365 days, we found reason to smile. Reasons for hope. And reasons for love.

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That being said, I’m really and truly looking forward to 31. Bring on the craziness. Bring on the roller coaster. Bring it all. I know it won’t be easy. We’ll be welcoming baby number 2 into our house in just a few, short months. That alone is sure to stir things up. But I’m changing my expectations. I’m planning on just rolling with the punches. Easier said than done, am I right?

That’s my goal for the next year — to just roll with the punches. And to remember what matters in this world — my itty bitty (growing) family. ♥

So if you need me, I’m going to be spending the last day of my 30th year in comfy clothes, eating soup on the couch, while watching movies with the husband + Moosh.

And thank you to everyone who hung in there for thirty. XO

PS. Let this serve as a friendly reminder that both Homeland AND the Leftovers start back on HBO tonight — HAPPY (almost) BIRTHDAY TO ME from HBO! 🙂 

practice the art of the unexpected burrito.

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It’s Friday but I’m battling (yet another) pregnancy thing [which I’ll be happy to get into another time — soon — just not now]. And I’m starting to feel just plain down and out and sorry for myself. I know I shouldn’t. I should be thankful for everything I do have instead of feeling sorry for myself.

So today I’m taking a play from Kid President and going to try and make the world just a little bit more awesome today by doing a few of these things:

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No, I won’t be mailing anyone a corndog (although, truly, I’d like to be a recipient of such a gift). But I do plan on giving out some free high fives and hugs as well as laughing and celebrating real beauty today, even if it’s just for a few moments. Who knows – maybe I’ll even “Practice the art of the unexpected burrito!” Ha!

And if none of that works out, the one thing I will be doing today is relaxing and not sweating the ‘dumb stuff.’

All I can say is let your light shine today, friends. Focus on the light. ♥ ♥

{ book review: the last lecture }

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I’ve always known that life should not be taken for granted. Unfortunately, that was something I learned from a very young age. But I’ve always struggled with knowing how to balance the fear of dying/losing people in my life, with actually living.

I think there is a very fine line between the depression and the optimism that comes with knowing life is short. Would you agree?

And I may be late to the game, but our Yoga Bliss book club recently decided to read The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch.

The book starts as Randy finds out that his pancreatic cancer has progressed and his doctors have given him only months to live. Knowing he’s about to leave behind a wife with three young children, Randy decides to bid farewell to his life in academia by giving one final lecture to his students and colleagues at Carnegie Mellon; while simultaneously documenting bits of advice for his young children.

Randy Pausch. Image via.

His message is inspiring. Throughout the book, I found myself on the verge of tears, and simultaneously amazed at his grace during such a tumultuous time.

At this point in my life, this book is exactly what I needed to read. I was already focusing so much positive energy into my vision board for 2012, and Mr. Pausch just reaffirmed my notions of what I need to make most important for myself.

My favorite takeaways:

1. “Put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others.” — Basically, what good are you in your life/relationships if you’re not first and foremost taking care of yourself. True. Story.

2. “Proper apologies have three parts: 1) What I did was wrong. 2) I feel badly that I hurt you. 3) How do I make this better?” — Apologies seem like they’re easy. But they can be complicated. And when we should say we’re sorry, it should definitely be like this.

3. Material possessions are just that: material. Nothing of significant value is material. Everything important holds no material value.

4. “It’s not helpful if we spend every day dreading tomorrow.” — As someone who is often in fear of something bad happening, I really need to make a conscious effort to remember this.

5. “Ask yourself: Are you spending your time on the right things?”and to go along with that, “We all have finite time and energy. Any time we spend whining is unlikely to help us achieve our goals. And it won’t make us happier.” — Lesson learned? Make priorities. And make the important people a priority. Always.

6. “This is what it is. We can’t change it. We just have to decide how we’ll respond. We cannot change he cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand.” — Lately I’ve been having a number of ‘woe is me’ moments. But really? What does it all matter. Focusing on the negative won’t change the circumstances. But I can certainly focus on how I react to situations and the ‘hands I’m dealt.’

which leads to…

7. “If you lead your life the right way, the karma will take care of itself. The dreams will come to you.”

So please take a few moments to read this book and to hear Randy’s inspiring story. Who knows — maybe it will be life-changing for you, too!

 

 

the professor and the jar.

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I have some {or a lot of} anxiety when it comes to my schedule and to-do list. I always feel busy. I can never get everything done, and there is always so much going on. It’s easy to get overwhelmed at the thought of it.
One of the ways that I try and take a step back from all of lifes stresses is power yoga.
A common expression used in yoga is to ‘leave it off the mat.’ When you come to your mat at yoga practice, you should be escaping all of the exhausting thoughts. For those of you who have practiced yoga or meditation, you’ll know that this is much easier said than done.
But during one of my recent yoga practices at Yoga Bliss in Akron, my teacher told us this amazing story. And I decided that it has to be shared:
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A Professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.


So the Professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the rocks. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The Professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous “yes.”

The Professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the space between the grains of sand.

“Now,” said the professor, as the laughter subsided, “I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The rocks are the important things–your family, your children, your health, your friends, and your favorite passions – things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, and your car. The sand is everything else -the small stuff.
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“If you put the sand into the jar first,” he continued, “there is no room for the pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Go out to dinner with a loved one. Play another 18.


There will always be time to work, clean and fix things. “Take care of the rocks first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.”

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The Professor smiled. “I’m glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.”
This was exactly what I needed to hear. So many days I feel overwhelmed, and really I don’t have that much going on. I let it overwhelm me. And I shouldn’t.

This story will be something I revisit over and over again when I feel like I have no time for things in my life.

What helps you keep things in perspective?