Its a Hero

mommyhood

Tales From A Working Mom // Bullshit, Supermom.

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talesfromaworkingmom

It’s been a long time coming, but I finally came to the conclusion that the level perfection I’ve been shooting for just isn’t sustainable.

I have one awesome day where I rock the gym, our house is super clean, dinner is ready on time, I make it to & from work without traffic, Ari has a good day at the sitter, and he’s fed & bathed & in bed by 7:30. I feel like I’m Supermom.

Then the next day all hell breaks loose: I sleep through my alarm & miss the gym; Ari has a massive blowout causing us to be late to the sitter; I hit traffic from an accident on the way to work, forget my lunch, and end up late; only to rush home and find laundry piled in the living room & a fussy baby who refuses to sleep.

Those days would kill me and send me into a funk; questioning myself and my abilities to be a wife and mother.

I have set expectations of myself to achieve complete family & work bliss, so at the first sign that I don’t 100% have my shit together, I lose it.

I feel like I’ve failed.

Instead of taking it in stride, I dwell on what I could’ve done differently to make it a more successful day.

It doesn’t help that I compare myself to these people I see online who seem to have it all together all of the time.

But that’s the thing about Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest & bloggers: it’s easy to portray that you have a picture-perfect life.

And I’m officially calling bullshit.

Because life is real. And real life is waking up late and running out of the house with wet hair; real life is piles of clean laundry on the floor and dirty dishes piled in the sink; real life is pajamas at 6pm and a frozen pizza for dinner. Real life is messy.

Some days I’ll rock a pinterest recipe and get in a 2-hour workout; Some days the house is clean and the laundry is in order; and some days I even have time to read a bestseller.

So even though I’d love for some days to be every day, I’m learning to be OK with lifes little imperfections and curve balls.

In the meantime, I’m learning to love and appreciate the authenticity of the nitty-gritty, messy, real life. 🙂

Fitness Fridays // on being OK

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I’ve been exhausted all week. I tried to get up early for a morning yoga class every day this week, but it just didn’t happen. The class is at 6am. And I would need to wake up at 4am to pump and get ready. Blah. Yeah that just didn’t happen.

Instead of stressing about the lack of exercise in my life right now, I’m focusing on the positives:

1. The weather is nice enough for me to go for a run on my lunch break today;
2. I’ve successfully made it through a full work week;
3. and Chad + I are going on a date tonight!

The whole not-stressing thing is totally a conscious effort. I can easily let my ego run wild and get me down in the dumps about it. But I’m choosing to set priorities and not burn myself out. What good am I to myself and my family if I burn myself out? In the long run, it’s a no-win situation.

My new-found consciousness is due, in part, to the book The Way of the Happy Woman: Living the Best Year of Your Life, which was a Christmas gift from my sister-in-law, and it just so happens to coincide with my 2013 manifestations!

I’m trying to accept that our lives are in a transition right now: I just returned to work, I’m adjusting to my new role as a working mom, and I’m trying my best to get back in a routine.

And yeah, workouts may be on the back burner for the time being. Why? Because I can’t master everything at once.

And that’s OK.

I’m getting there. It will all balance out. Being happy and healthy are extremely important for my well-being.

And it may have taken 28 years, but I think I’m finally accepting that sometimes the healthiest thing I can do is to slow down and let myself adjust.

All this being said, I can’t wait for my lunchtime run and a fun day of yoga workshops tomorrow during Yoga Bliss Day [it’s their 2-year anniversary and all yoga classes/workshops are FREE tomorrow!]

Ari Davis // One Month … and then some.

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Better late than never, right? Just humor me, cause that’s what I’m telling myself these days! The last six weeks have seriously been a blur, but a good blur.

I’ve been lucky enough to spend every day of these past six weeks getting to know my little guy. And I am so in love with him.

 

He’s grown so much. It’s hard to believe that he’s close to ten pounds these days!

His baby noises have evolved, too. He’s still doing his fair share of grunting, but he’s started cooing regularly as well. And he’s mimicking facial expressions. So when I smile at him, he’ll smile back at me. It’s such a wonderful feeling to see him smile his big, open-mouthed smile back at me! Words cannot express!

Oscar has been keeping close tabs on his little brother. He rarely leaves his side, but is still a bit skeptical. I’m sure they’ll soon be the best of friends.

Oh, and Ari is still colicky. It’s exhausting and, at times, really frustrating, but I feel like we’re coping with it as best we can. Because his colicky period is usually very late at night, we’re still sleeping in shifts. Chad will stay up from 9pm to 2am so that I can sleep during that time. Then I stay awake with Ari from 2am on. Yeah it can suck at times, but it works for us. If I’m lucky I’ll get to doze off for an hour during my shift. Last night, of course, was not one of those nights.

Ari and I make it a point to get out of the house every day. Even if it’s just running to Starbucks or Target for a hot minute. But it’s good for us to get out of the house. And now that I’ve had my six-week postpartum follow up appointment yesterday, I’m cleared for exercise! I am beyond excited about this! Time to lace up my running shoes and get my yoga on!

I can’t remember if I’ve mentioned this yet, but I’ve gone to great lengths to discuss it on Twitter, but because Ari was tongue tied when he was born [which has since been fixed], he had a problem latching to nurse. After a week of not being able to seem to satisfy his hunger, I started to pump and bottle feed. That way he’s still getting all of the nutrition and benefits from the breast milk. At first it wasn’t ideal, but it’s working out well for us. He’ll latch on now, but at times, it’s easier for us all to bottle feed.

It’s hard to believe that I will have to go back to work in less than 5 weeks. But I’m trying not to think about that right now. Back to enjoying my little man. 🙂

 

Ari Davis // 3 weeks

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Age // 22 days old!

Weight // Just over 7 lbs still. It’s possible that you’re closer to 8 these days. We haven’t been back to the doctor, so I really have no way of knowing. But you’re chunkin’ up! 😉

About you // You are a bit fussy these days. And it’s exhausting. But the great thing is that your daddy & I make a fabulous team. He’s the level-headed one and I’m the [overly] emotional one. Especially postpartum.

You are so awesome at tummy time! You’re getting so good at holding your head up. Perhaps soon you’ll have a little bit more control over it though. 😉 Cause it kind of terrifies me when you flail around like a crazy baby.

You’ve also developed some other motor skills, like squeezing my fingers and pulling my hair [now I know why so many moms have short hair!]. And you’ve started to build strength in your legs. You push off of everyone and everything any chance you get.

Last week we ‘celebrated’ your first Halloween! And by celebrated, I mean we dressed up and took you to Starbucks. Cause it was freakin’ cold and rainy! And we survived daddy’s first week back to work — which was rough considering he had 26 hours of mandatory overtime [thanks, hurricane Sandy].

Here’s to more surviving and more learning for all of us, sweet pea.

Ari Davis // 2 Weeks

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Age // 14 fabulous days old!

Weight // Just over 7 pounds.

About you //

Sweet pea, these past two weeks have flown by!

And you’re [noticeably] changing every single day. You have a ton of hair — which is getting more auburn red by the day, and I seriously cannot tell what color your eyes are anymore. Hazel? Green? Sometimes they still look blue. Hmm.

You eat a lot. Which is awesome! But you haven’t been sleeping that awesome. Let’s hope that changes.

This past week you got your tongue-tie clipped, so I think that’s why you’ve been eating better. But I couldn’t watch them do it… I had to leave the room because I cried when the doctor was talking about it. All he said was “you’ll cry more than he will,” and that’s when I lost it. But your daddy says you did awesome! Although you did not like them pulling at your tongue with their hands! That apparently pissed you off!

And this past week I struggled with analyzing everything. Like, the cough + wheeze I thought you’d developed. The doctor confirmed it was not a cough; you were just breathing. Oops. Good to know. 😉

I can’t wait to watch you grow even more over this next week! XO

The ” M ” Word

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Nope, not marriage. Motherhood. I have about 4 months left in my pregnancy, and it will not be without worry.

That’s about the only thing I’m 100% positive about right now.

Over the years I’ve read my fair share of mommy blogs. Which means I’ve heard quite a bit of discussion around being a working mom versus a SAHM {stay at home mom}.

I always thought that when we had kids, I’d finally have my crap together… meaning, I’d be able to make that decision easily and without worry. And the decision I thought I would want to make was to go back to work.

But now that I’m really in this situation, I realize that I would totally make the opposite choice — to stay at home with our little peanut.

However, that’s not an option for us at this time. {Remember that super honest post where I put it all out there? Yeah, uh. That.} It’s scary to think that just a short time after a life-changing event, I’ll have to go back to “normal” life. I know Baby L isn’t here yet, but this already seems like it will be impossible to do — to go back to “normal.”

Besides eventually having to go back to work, I’m just worried in general about what happens after Baby L is born. I’m afraid of not knowing how to be a good mom. Or a good mom and a good wife at the same time.

What if I don’t live up to the Supermom unrealistic expectation that I’ve set for myself?

I know I’m not the first soon-to-be parent that is borderline panic about becoming and being a good mom. So I’m taking it in stride and trying to remind myself that it will all work itself out.