#MomLife

the power of “NO.”

December 18, 2015 by Rachel Leave a Comment

It’s taken me a long time, and a lot of years, to realize that I had the power to say “no.” A few years ago I had a goal of saying “yes” to everything I was asked to participate in for two weeks or something like that. But that was pre-kids, pre-marriage, etc. Life was much more… flexible. I felt an urge to get out and get involved. And to, well, people please, to put it frankly.

So what’s changed, besides the obvious? Well, having a family means we are pretty much ‘automatically’ signed up for a bunch of things. Sure, we want to do these things; but it also leaves me craving time where I’m not doing a darn thing! We are just plain ol’ burned out from life.

Enter: the great NO challenge.

It’s not that I’m giving myself a timeframe to say no to everything I’m asked to socially commit to; but I’m giving myself permission to say “no” as needed — without an excuse.

“No” really shouldn’t need an excuse. Sometimes, just, no.

I love all of my friends, I truly do. I love seeing them and hanging out. But when life is super busy, sometimes the healthiest thing you can do for yourself is to schedule time to be “busy doing nothing” in your planner. I’ve done this before and it’s helped tremendously. I’ll black out a weekend on the calendar and tell Chad that we’re “busy doing nothing” all weekend so we can’t make plans.

Do you feel like you could say “no” if you truly just don’t want to engage in something? I suggest looking at it differently: Know your priorities and the value of your time. When a friend or relative asks something of us, we have to decide where our time is best suited.

It’s taken me a while to know where my time is valuable. For me, it’s with my husband and son. Or heck, even by myself! It’s hard to juggle time with young kids in the home; but knowing when you need a few minutes to yourself can be life-saving to you and your relationships.

For example, this co-sleeping thing has had me at my wits end at times. I feel like Moosh is constantly attached to me. One night, after 3.5 hours trying to get him to sleep, he just wouldn’t. I was tied to him. The next day I had one request: I asked Chad if he would handle bedtime solo so I could have a few minutes alone, even if it was just to check my email/blog/twitter and watch one episode of trashy TV from the DVR. I’m so grateful that I asked him for help. I like to pretend I’m super mom and can do it all, but sometimes we need to just step back and ask. And because of this two hours I had, I ended up feeling refreshed and rejuvenated!

Seriously. Because sometimes the act of saying “no” is truly empowering you to say “yes” in other aspects of your life.

So by all means, this holiday season or this New Year, feel empowered to say NO when you need it — sans guilt!

soliciting parenting advice //

December 9, 2015 by Rachel Leave a Comment

It’s rare that I send out a mass SOS to my fellow moms + dads. In fact, I’m trying to recall a time over the last three years in which I actually begged for advice and can’t… but here I go…

About a month ago Moosh requested to watch Jumanji — a movie he’s seen several times before. We were settling in for a movie night in my bed and so I turned it on. We got 5 minutes in and he freaked out and said he was scared, so I turned it off. Mind you, this is before anything actually happens. Robin Williams character simply opens the game and the game piece moves. That’s it. Sure, it’s not the least frightening thing in the world, but it’s also not the scariest thing he’s ever seen.

And since that night, he’s refused to sleep in his own bed. Because, Jumanji. Don’t get me wrong — we’ve tried. At first we were really fighting him on it. We would put him to bed and it would take 60+ minutes of lying down with him, relaxing, and letting him fall asleep. Only to find that 10 minutes later he was screaming to open the door. Then we would try and put him back to bed, which worked for a few minutes, before he would get out yet again. After several nights in a row like this, we began to just ‘give in’ to him from the start.

I know, I know… first mistake.

But this is both a parenting fail AND a parenting win. Because we are tired, too. And we weren’t getting anywhere with putting him in his own bed. And we all desperately needed sleep. And it turns out that a lot of ‘parenting‘ is making concessions for things you were ‘certain‘ you were never going to do. And sometimes the answer is the path of least resistance. Scratch that — the answer is almost ALWAYS the path of least resistance.

Well, fast forward 4 weeks… and the occasional co-sleeping has become habitual co-sleeping. I even lie down with him at nap time on the weekends to get him to nap. In my bed. The whole time.

Here’s what’s running through my head:

This is just a phase. Let’s get it out of the way before Baby Girl is born.
This isn’t going to last forever. Soon enough he’ll be asserting his independence and he won’t ever want to sleep in bed with us. I should just embrace it.
Gosh, I’d love to be productive on a Saturday afternoon instead of lying around in bed with him for 3 hours.
Okay. I’d really like to go to bed later than 8pm every night of the week. And to actually spend some time with my husband having adult conversation, even if it is just for an hour each night.
Some kids are sick and ours is healthy and so I should just snuggle him all night every night.

Look, I never said it was a rational train of thought… just that I keep jumping back and forth between ‘just a phase,’ and ‘dear lord make this stop.’ Because, truthfully, part of me loves it. But part of me just can’t take it anymore. And sometimes I feel both of those things at the very same time.

So tell me, friends. What do you suggest? Should we ride it out?

Here’s what we’ve tried:

First, telling him that (obviously) Jumanji is pretend and nothing is going to get him.
Using “go away” spray at night.
Telling him if he sleeps in his room, when he wakes up in the morning he can just get out of bed and play with his toys.
Using a nightlight.

We’re open to suggestions. I’m exhausted. And last-trimester pregnancy is making me even more tired (and cranky). So I need as much sleep as I can get, but I also miss my husband. I miss just that one hour a night we need to spend with just each other. So help. Please.

Snack Good. Feel Gooder.

December 5, 2015 by Rachel Leave a Comment

Moms. We’re responsible for keeping it all together, so to say. And friends – I’d be lying if I didn’t say I’ve dropped the ball a time or two ~~daily~~ during this pregnancy. I won’t forget important things, like feeding Ari. But… I’ve been known to forget to actually eat for myself. Until it’s too late. Until I’m in the car on the way to an appointment or to lunch. So what’s a gal to do on the run? Enter my newest healthy, on-the-go, snack obsession: ZonePerfect Perfectly Simple snack bars.

These are a delicious way to curb my cravings for something sweet but still healthy! Because I’m super into chocolate right now, I packed the Oatmeal Chocolate Chunk. It’s super delicious, and at only 200 calories or less, completely guilt-free!

Each bar is wrapped and ready to go, so you never have to settle when you’re on the go. The individually wrapped bars, which come in four flavors (Oatmeal Chocolate Chunk, Almond Toffee Crunch, Bing Cherry & Almond, and Roasted Cashew & Dark Chocolate), are high in protein, and simple with the ingredients (less is more, am I right?!). They’re also gluten free (yay for our celiacs!).

So they are my go-to snack when I’m in a rush (which, let’s face it, is always) and trying to make decisions to make me #FeelGooder about life on the run!

Now you can try them out for yourself by using this $1.00 off coupon here! Enjoy, friends! And feel free to share how you #FeelGooder throughout your busy day! Yoga in the office? Walking during your lunch break? Tell me!

Disclosure: This post is sponsored by ZonePerfect but, as always, the content and opinions expressed here are my own.

31 FOR 31 //

December 4, 2015 by Rachel 1 Comment

It’s been a while since I set any sort of goals for myself. In fact, it’s been over a year! Holy smokes. So it’s time to change that — to give myself a sense of purpose in my thirty-first year of life. Even if this list is making its way two whole months after my 31st birthday. 🙂

I’ve posted similar goals sporadically in the past, but I’ve always gone a bit ‘overboard’ with my lists. Which completely overwhelms me and then I do absolutely none of it. So this year I’m keeping it simple-ish.

[1] Run another half marathon. Having a baby in the middle of the winter will certainly help because we won’t have many options to leave the house. So enter the treadmill!

[2] Find a new job/career that will offer more of a work/life balance.

[3] Have a successful no-spend 30 days.

[4] …. in which I also cook/eat at home for 30 days straight.

[5] Pay it forward to someone by paying for their coffee.

[6] Take a cooking class.

[7] Take a “makers” workshop of some sort.

[8] Purge + donate old items from my closet.

[9] Get rid of old electronics.

[10] Completely reorganize our bedroom.

[11] Completely reorganize our laundry room.

[12] Donate blood.

[13] Get a haircut. I know this seems like NBD. But honestly? I haven’t had a haircut in like 18 months.

[14] Get back to my pre-baby weight.

[15] Attend a county or state fair.

[16] Participate in another Wine + Canvas event.

[17] Meditate everyday for 30 days.

[18] Do a 7-day juice fast.

[19] Workout for 30-days straight.

[20] Go 30-days without alcohol Postpartum obvy cause being pregnant and doing that would be cheating, right?

[21] Complete a cross-stitch project that I’ve had the tools for.

[22] Go to a comedy show.

[23] Take a road trip to NY State.

[24] Attend a pro sporting event.

[25] See a movie at The Nightlight theater in Akron.

[26] Take a Balance + Brews yoga class.

[27] Complete a 60-day streak of 10k steps per day.

[28] Set up my home-office in my bedroom.

[29] Take a SUP yoga class.

[30] Visit a local winery and do a wine tasting.

[31] Attend a yoga event.

I feel like this list is totally attainable — unlike other lists I’ve made in the past. So I’m totally looking forward to scratching one off at a time! No worries — I’ll update it as I go!

Sidenote: I totally almost named this “31 before 31″… and it literally took me like 3 hours to realize that I AM ALREADY 31! Ha. Myyyyy bad.

what to get a toddler for the holidays //

December 2, 2015 by Rachel 1 Comment

One thing I’ve learned about babies and toddlers is that you can totally go overboard with gifts. And well, everything. They get very over stimulated very quickly. At birthday parties, we’ve learned not to open every gift. In fact, we only open about 3. The rest? We put in storage to be opened later [and if I’m being completely honest, we put them into hiding so we can “regift” them — to him! — for Christmas just a few months later!].

The times he seems most uninterested in gifts is when he is overwhelmed. So this year, out of necessity and sanity, we are only giving him a select number of gifts for Christmas.

Matchbox Cars. All of the fancy toys in the world don’t compare to silly Matchbox Cars. I’ve learned that boys just love driving cars all over the place. So getting a giant box of cars is going to make his freaking day.
Fake Power Tools. He was obsessed with this Home Depot drill his friend K had, so he ended up picking out a Home Depot Leaf Blower with his Toys R Us birthday gift card. 🙂 It’s so funny cause he thinks it actually works to blow things. [hint: it doesn’t]
Action Figures. Especially the Marvel Titan series. Bonus? If I get roped into playing, it’s like Barbies, but with boys. Inexpensive. Sturdy. Fun.
Ants in the Pants. I was surprised to learn that he’s playing games like this at the sitters house. And actually focusing; like sitting down and actually listening/following directions! So I picked up this game [which, admittedly, was my favorite preschool game as a kid] on Black Friday!
Candy canes. Because, candy. And it’s a crowd-pleaser.
Green Toys Dump Truck. Not only is it eco-friendly, but this dude suddenly became obsessed with dump trucks. When we go to friends houses, he immediately passes up the fancy toys and goes straight to the big trucks.
Amazon Fire Tablet. Before you get all judgy about being ‘that mom’ that gives her kid a tablet, let me clarify: Ari has been using Chad’s old iPad for like a year now. Chad upgraded a while back and then pretty much it became Ari’s iPad. It had movies and preschool games on it. Aaaand it hasn’t been holding a charge for a few months so we haven’t used it in a long time. So the other day Amazon had the Kindle Fire on sale for $30 (!!!!!!) so guess who is getting a tablet [WITH a very childproof case]? Yep. Moosh. Really, they are great to have on hand for learning games and movies for road trips.

Looking at this list now, it looks like a lot. But I swear it’s easy to go overboard. And really + truly, we haven’t spent much at all on gifts. We’ve acquired them when we find them on sale and let them pile up over the months before Christmas!

What are your go-to toddler boy gifts!?

etsy pregnancy wish list

December 1, 2015 by Rachel 1 Comment

I am so excited winter is on it’s way! I know, I know… I’ve said that a lot recently. But even saying it ONCE, for me, is completely out of character! I told Chad that the sole reason I’m so excited this winter is knowing that I won’t have to drive in winter weather often [thanks, Baby Girl + maternity leave!]. But also because that means I can stay bundled up at home, complete with hot chocolate and Netflix, on the couch. Oh, no… I know it won’t be a vacation. I realize that I’ll also be responsible for keeping TWO children alive. But still. In those moments when Moosh is asleep and I’m nursing a baby, I’m going to enjoy that Netflix and hot cocoa!

I’ve also comprised a “Holiday Etsy Maternity/Postpartum Wish Lists” of sorts… [for anyone looking to buy me something — LOL!]

A non-traditional nursing cover/infinity scarf.
Like this one from etsy shop Kismet Love Collection.
Seriously. They are adorable. And they are scarves!
Gah! I’m in love.

Baby Girls’ Coming Home Outfit.
I realize absolutely zero people will see this in real life,
but lord knows I’ll be posting it on instagram, right? Ha!
This one from Adorned Baby Boutique is adorable.
I’m not big on pink, but gold? Heck yes. Give Baby Girl all the gold!

A Birthing Gown for the hospital.
I know it seems super shallow, but I honestly got one for my L&D with Ari.
And it was way more comfortable than the hospital gown.
It was plain black, but perhaps I want to go a little bit more frilly for Baby Girl? Ha.
This one from Stork Apparel is cute, but not overly girly.

Super Comfy Warm Socks.
‘Cause January is going to be mega cold, y’all.
And even though I’ve been hot-blooded this pregnancy,
I know that as soon as this baby comes, I’ll be cold. Again.
And these socks from Fir Tree Knitwear are adorable AND wool!
Swoon!

Reusable Nursing Pads.
With Moosh I used these silicone reusable nursing pads.
They were horrible. If my boobs leaked, they would itch uncontrollably.
So this time I want fabric reusable pads.
And these handmade nursing pads from Marleys Monsters are cute and inexpensive!

A Giant Warm Robe.
Cause, winter + nursing.
And this robe from Wrapped In A Cloud looks SO warm and cozy.

An Oversized Sweater.
Do you notice a theme here? Big, comfy, and warm?
Yep. Give me all the big, comfy, and warm.
I wish I could afford this giant sweater from Rose Unique Style.

I’m just loving all of this stuff. And I know none of it is necessary to have, but gosh would it be nice to be warm and cozy after Baby Girl is born! ♥