#MomLife

finding my mommy zen.

February 19, 2016 by Rachel Leave a Comment

I realized last night that from the sounds of my rants lately, it would appear that I hate everything and everyone and that nothing good or happy has been going on. Well, the new baby struggles are real and I cope by just putting it all out there and sharing my experiences. Buuuut there have been a lot of awesome experiences, too.

For every toddler fit that exhausts me; for every colicky moment with Remy; for every spilled meal; there are handfuls of little moments that fill my heart with happiness and purpose.

For instance, yesterday we bounced between a lot of those tough moments and moments of ‘mommy zen.’ Ari ate a huge breakfast and a big healthy lunch; I cleaned the entire kitchen, bathroom and living room, including the dishes and vacuuming; every person in our household had at least one shower/bath; Ari napped while I made Rice Krispy treats; I had a hot cup of coffee; and Ari asked for bed at 7:30pm.

So yeah, not everything is perfect. But some things are — and that helps.

And I’m celebrating!

Also? Today there was sunshine. And coffee (thanks to a dear old friend for sending me a virtual gift card/hug the other day to lift my spirits!). Hip, hip, hooray! The makings of a perfect Friday, if I do say so myself!

But let’s be real… this is really what my zen looks like…

Yep. A sleeping baby.

xo and happy weekend!

it still takes a village

February 18, 2016 by Rachel 1 Comment

I thought I could do it. I mean, I’ve dealt with a newborn before, right? Wrong. Oh, so wrong.

Thankfully, I had Chad home for two weeks to help with the transition of our family of three to four. And then when he went back to work, my mom came up from Kentucky to stay with us for a week. And then when she left, my dad came up for three days. And then he left and my world came crashing down.

Truth be told, it’s been unravelling for a while, I’m certain. But I’ve had this idea that I am adjusting much more easily because this isn’t my first rodeo.

And then it all came to a head yesterday.

Remy has been screaming nonstop. We think it’s colic. Hooray…. somehow we’re ‘blessed’ with two colicky babies. Isn’t that, like, illegal? It should be. In addition, Ari is being less than cooperative at most moments; so I feel as if every interaction I have with him is telling him “no” and putting him in a time out.

I thought getting back into work would help me; but I got wiped out. I thought I could do it all. I really did. But apparently my body and my mind just aren’t ready yet.

Thankfully, I have my village.

I have my incredibly understanding and supportive husband. And my parents. And a very awesome group of Mommy friends. Because it really and truly takes a village. I talked about this after Ari was born, but it stands true for a second baby, too.

So thank you to my village. But my in-person village and my social media village. Both awesome. Both important. In the meantime, I’m going to refocus on getting the hang of this mom-of-two thing. And I’m going to focus on trying to get into a routine at home… with cleaning, cooking, naps, sleep, etc. That’s what we need right now, and that’s what I need right now.

Weekly Mantra //

February 16, 2016 by Rachel 1 Comment

This week I’m officially ‘going back to work.’ I know I’m only 3 weeks postpartum, but yesterday I started back at it! I have to say, it’s nice to get out of the house and have some sort of schedule… but at the same time, I’m super struggling to survive in this ‘new normal’ of two kiddos.

I’m not going to lie. I’m really, really, struggling. Ari is misbehaving at every turn. And I feel like I’m spending all of my time yelling at him and telling him ‘no.’ Meanwhile Miss Remy Bea is screaming her head off. Like, nonstop. Seriously. I’m hoping this is just the struggles of a newborn and not a colic situation like it was with Ari.

And then when she’s screaming, Ari takes that opportunity to be extra bad.

Queue Mommy-failure-feelings.

For example…

Sunday night Remy Bea was awake all.night.long. I slept maybe an hour. The rest of the night she was screaming for absolutely no known reason. Well during Ari’s nap on Monday, a package was delivered by the loudest delivery guy in the history of delivery guys… And it woke Ari up after only 40 minutes. He screamed and cried and was generally just an extra-fussy butt. After I finally got Ari to relax, I set Remy Bea down. She was (finally) napping and I was able to stand up and start dinner [and to make the banana bread that I’d been ready to make for days].

Before I knew it, Ari walked over to Remy in her rock and play and started to touch her and try and wake her up. Aaaaand then she was screaming and dinner was never made and I was quickly at my wits end with a toddler.

And now I can’t even get through my weekly mantra. Seriously. This is it. I just need to figure out how to navigate life. And it’s exhausting. I know I’ll survive. I just hope my whole family comes out of this week with a teeny bit of sanity still intact.

Please, please, tell me that this feeling won’t last forever…

lessons learned in parenting 2 kids for only 2 weeks. AKA i know NOTHING.

February 10, 2016 by Rachel 1 Comment

I’d be lying if I said adjusting to two children has been… easy. ‘Cause it hasn’t. I feel pushed and pulled in so many different directions. And I’ve mentioned to so many Mommy-friends that I feel super busy, but I’m not actually ‘doing’ anything. [and then those friends gently remind me that I’m keeping an infant AND a toddler alive, fed, and healthy…]

But seriously. It seems like I have these moments where everything is going well… and then Remy Bea starts to wail and at that very moment, Ari starts screaming about something from the other room that he ‘needs’ right this second. And I feel torn. My immediate concern, of course, is feeding Remy Bea [since I’m the only person able to do so]; but I also feel so guilty for not being available for Ari when he ‘needs’ me.

In short, that part def sucks.

Oh – and Chad went back to work Monday. I’m SO happy [and lucky!] to have had him home for two whole weeks to help us get adjusted. At the same time, with him getting back into his routine, we’re starting to find our own routine at home during the day. Luckily, my mom came in from Kentucky to help us for this week. Thank goodness, because it certainly has had its challenging moments.

And then there’s the errands…

This is where I’m super happy to have my mom in town. I had to run like 2 errands with both kids… and of course, it was an epic failure. Remy Bea was screaming; Ari was being a mega-jerk whilst picking his nose in public; and I was just like “HI JUST GIVE ME MY PRESCRIPTION BEFORE I MURDER SOMEONE.”

But I’m celebrating the small victories… like keeping both kids alive. And making dinner before Chad got home from work [like, actually making dinner, ya’ll…]. And having clean dishes and clean laundry [but don’t ask me to vacuum].

I don’t think it’s harder, per se, because being a new parent to one child sucks probably a little bit more… but it’s been way different than I expected. We shall see what this week of transitions brings!

Also? Please send wine… this being torn in two, three, four and more different directions at once is no joke.

Weekly Mantra

February 8, 2016 by Rachel Leave a Comment

This week my mantra is simple, but it may be, perhaps, my mantra for the rest of the year. ♥

I’ve mentioned before just how different I feel, postpartum, this time around. But perhaps this time around, I’m also a little wiser. Or perhaps it just comes with age… I don’t know for certain. But I do know that my ‘fitness’ goals postpartum are really just based around being healthy and happy. And content. Yes, content, for sure.

And to love the body that’s served me so well all these years. I don’t want to be a size zero… or even a size two, like I was before Ari.

I just want to be friends with my body… I just want my body to know that I love it for what it is… the vessel that carried two children; the body that delivered two amazing, healthy babies; a body that has stretch marks and wrinkles, but is still so, so, loved. I don’t care that it is aging; because that means that I am lucky enough to be aging, too.

And I know together we can accomplish great, wonderful, and powerful things. ♥

Remy Bea // One Week (ish)

February 4, 2016 by Rachel 1 Comment

OK, first and foremost there will be some TMI in this post. You’ve been warned. 😛 Perhaps this post is only for people who are totally, totally, OK with the honesty of childbirth. And also, Moms. All moms can handle this stuff. 🙂

Another note, I’m totally, totally, suffering from Mommy/Newborn brain. Some words escape me and some sentences no longer make sense. Chad came in the room while I was sleeping the other night and asked where Ari’s pullups were… for the life of me I could not get out a clear sentence. That’s just life right now, folks. So keep that in mind as you read through this blog post. Perhaps there are grammatical errors… perhaps some sentences don’t make sense… that’s just the real talk of my life right now!

Remy’s head is so perfectly round that she looks like a c-section baby. She was only in the birth canal for a short period of time (like, super, super short), so her head is just so beautifully round! ♥
Even though I pushed her out at only 7cm dilated, I didn’t have one. single. tear. Seriously. Not even like a first degree (papercut) of a tear. I’m so grateful for my doctors for helping make that happen (even though I kicked them in the process). Oh, and my body. Because, guess what? Our bodies are A-MAZING. Seriously.

It’s amazing how much more flat my belly has gotten in a week this time around versus when I had Ari. I’m guessing this has something to do with nursing versus pumping. Oh, and also? not having much of an appetite because of the sickness I have going on.
Little Miss Remy Bea has been a champ at both nursing and sleeping over this last week. Even on the first night in the hospital, she slept for 6 hours straight overnight! Since then she hasn’t quite slept that long… but we do go about 3 hours at night between feedings! Hooray!
On Monday, when she was just 2 days old, we went on our first outing to Target and Babies R Us for a few things. It felt glorious to get out.
I pretty much stopped postpartum bleeding in just a few days. Which is incredible, considering.

In all of Ari’s infancy, we had never been peed on by him. In just one week, Remy Bea has peed on us at least 6 or 7 times. Like, straight in the air, peeing for days, kinda peeing on us. Whoever says boys will pee on you as soon as they hit cold air are very, very, wrong. Either that or we’ve been very lucky (with Moosh) and unlucky (with Remy Bea).
The ol’ saying that you have to put your own oxygen mask on first is totally true. I’m learning that, especially as I am struggling to find an adequate time to eat. It seems that every time I need to eat, Remy Bea needs to cluster-feed.
I slept on the couch for the better part of our first week at home. We didn’t want to throw too many transitions at Ari at one time… so we let him continue to sleep in “Mommies bed” with Chad the whole week. Plus, I wanted to sleep closer to the bathroom. 🙂

And yes, her two week post will be up before we know it. Oops!