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Five Friday Favorites

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Things have been so busy around here, but I wanted to share a glimpse of 5 things I’m absolutely loving as of late.

1. Truly Madly Guilty by Liane Moriarty

Liane Moriarty is one of my favorite fiction writers. When she first released Big Little Lies (which, it should be noted, is much better than the HBO adaptation) I was hooked on her suspenseful style of writing. This more recent novel is filled with the usual suspense and drama with a parental twist. I highly recommend reading it, especially if you’re already a fan of her work.

 

2. If I’m Being Honest with Katie Crenshaw

This podcast has been a refreshing take on taboo subjects. Each episode is an interview-style talk with someone with a story to tell, whether it be about a dad in prison for crimes against a minor, or being a psychic medium. Basically, super interesting subjects that are rarely discussed. Basically, I’m addicted.

 

3. Ninja Coffee Bar Single-Serve System

Y’all, despite my best efforts, I’ve never been one to brew coffee at home. I’ve had a Keurig, I’ve had a Starbucks Verismo and a traditional coffee maker with a pot. But none of those really did it for me. I was drinking too much coffee to justify the pods of the Keurig and Verismo, but not enough back-to-back coffee to justify the pot (and I despise reheated coffee!).

Last Fall I snagged one of these Ninja Coffee Bar Single-Serve Makers and I fell in love with brewing my coffee at home! It uses just regular ground coffee with a reusable filter. It has an option for different sizes, bold brewing, and iced coffee brewing! Complete with a milk frother. Best invention ever!

 

4. Russian Doll on Netflix

I binge-watched the first season in 24-hours. And I want more! Natasha Lyonne is incredible in everything, but she really knocks this role out of the park.

Stuck in a ‘groundhog-day’ type scenario, she continues to relive (and die) repeatedly on her 35th birthday. She goes on a mission to figure out why and how to stop it while encountering another person going through the same thing.

It’s not as twisted as it sounds, but it’s certainly super interesting. I am already very excited about season 2.

 

5. Weight Watchers

For those of you who have been here a while, you might remember I did WW after Remy was born and had a decent amount of success. Truthfully, the only thing that thwarted my success was getting pregnant again, this time with Mila. So now that I’m 8 months postpartum, I’m finally ready to really step up my game. My body is regulating itself hormonally, Meebs is sleeping a decent amount, and our lives are adjusting as well as is possible.

Last week was my first week of sticking to Weight Watchers and I lost 5.8 pounds! That’s the biggest loss I’ve ever had on the program! Many credits are due to the program, but I also worked my butt off at the gym earning ‘fitness points’ and tracked my ‘food points’ religiously.

I love this program so much because — 1. It doesn’t require weighing in every day, just once a week! and 2. I’m able to still enjoy life and be social! During the last week, I had a glass of wine at night a couple of times, which made it feel like ‘normal’ versus a ‘diet.’

 

Okay, technically this is number 6 and she’s all mine, but I’m definitely loving this kid a lot lately.

Mila has been so fun lately and I just can’t stop staring at her in amazement. She’s nearly crawling, always smiling, and loves to laugh at her brother. She’s such a wonderful addition to our family and I couldn’t be happier to be her Mama. ♥ ♥

What

are you

loving lately!?

28 Years Later // Remembering a Tragedy

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Twenty-eight years ago our lives changed forever. While we all have our own memories of that night, my own are still incredibly vivid — and certainly helped shape me into the adult I am today.

You see, 28 years ago, on MLK day, my younger sister and I were sitting in the living room watching TV. We had just finished eating dinner and we were on the couch in our pajamas. I was only 6. My little sister was not yet 4. The phone rang and my parents answered it from their bedroom down the hall. What I heard next were blood-curdling screams of my mother.

I remember my sister and I running back to their bedroom, terrified. What we saw were both of our parents hysterically crying. We both began crying as well. We had never seen our parents crying before and this was all so very scary. We didn’t know what was going on, but we were both very afraid.

Shortly thereafter, we were driven down to our neighbors’ house. We knew our parents had to go somewhere and that they wouldn’t be home for the rest of the night. We spent half of our childhoods at our neighbors home, playing with their two children of similar ages, but this was the first time I did not want to be there. I was scared.

The next morning I went to school, where I was met with condolences of teachers and school administration. I still had no idea what had happened.

I’m honestly not sure who told me what happened. At some point during that school day, someone had told me.

My maternal grandfather was shot and killed the night before.

The next several years of my life were filled with a sort of grief that no child of that age should have to deal with. Having the trauma of your first experience with death be that of murder was excruciating. I didn’t understand how or why someone would do this. And I spent the rest of my childhood acutely aware that (in my 6-year-old words) “bad things are happening in the world and I don’t understand how other kids are so happy all of the time.”

Now, 28-years-later, it amazes me that on top of my mothers’ grief, she also had to deal with two very traumatized children. She was not even yet 30 herself! Three men stole her father from her life far too soon for no reason other than a carjacking gone wrong.

I have the clarity now that only time can provide. Occasionally the whole family will discuss the memories of the details of that awful night — each of my moms 6 brothers and sisters and all of my cousins have varying stories of what we remember in the immediate aftermath. But time also truly does heal. And, although I’ve found forgiveness for the act itself, I still do not forgive them for stealing my innocence and causing a tremendous amount of anxiety.

While today I’ve been thinking about that horrible night, for the rest of the 364 days of the year, I think only of his memory — of his laugh, his smile, his warmth, and his love. The other 364 days, I remember my grandfather, not the tragedy. ♥ ♥

A Different Kind of Happy

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“We haven’t been happy for a long time.”

Before Kids – AKA when it was easy

Disclaimer – this may be an unpopular post/opinion, but it’s real life. And, in all honesty, when my husband said this out loud to me, I responded with, “we’re just a different kind of happy.” But then he said, “Yeah but not a ‘happy all the time just because‘ happy.”

And you know what? He’s right.

But so am I.

Having kids is completely draining. Sure, it’s emotionally draining. But it’s also physically demanding. At the end of a busy day, when you have zero left to give, you have no choice but to give just a bit more. Your little humans’ lives are depending on it.

And it’s emotionally exhausting. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been brought to my knees and at the mercy of a two-year-old demanding lord knows what. That’s not to say that I give in, but I’ll tell ya what — there have been many moments where I’ve negotiated with the (tiny) terrorist if it meant just a little bit of sleep.

Would I trade them? Not for all of the riches in the world.

But I can still long for the days where I only had to wipe *only* my own ass.

The days where I could live by my own schedule.

The nights where I could work extra hours in the office and not have to worry about anyone waking up and needing me in the middle of a deadline.

I look at my husband and long for moments where we aren’t both too tired to converse during (a long overdue) date night.

Surely I know these days and moments are fleeting. But right now? Right now they are REALLY FREAKING HARD. They are fabulous, messy, hilarious, frustrating, and so. damn. HARD.

So if you’re in the thick of it like us, just know that you’re not alone when you get these feelings. It’s okay to be bummed about the fact that your life looks vastly different than it did before. It doesn’t make you a bad mom (or dad); It doesn’t mean you don’t love your kids; It just means you’re normal.

 

Mila Rose – 5 Months

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If I could wrap up this last month in one word it would be the following: bittersweet.

Bittersweet because over this last month Mila has changed dramatically. She’s no longer a squishy little baby that just eats, sleeps, and poops. Nope. Now she laughs, smiles, and watches her siblings play. She’s, like, a real human now! Ha!

But I’m sad because that was the last time I’ll ever go through the newborn stage. My last baby is already FIVE MONTHS OLD — and that just seems crazy to me. I want, terribly, to relive these days again, another time.

In the same breath, I’m really okay with moving on with our lives — away from newborn ‘things.’ I am looking forward to watching Mila grow into an even bigger little human. I can’t wait to see her continue to interact with her siblings (and me!).

Here’s what else we’ve been up to over the last month —

As mentioned before, she laughs and smiles… a lot.

And apparently, she’s a fan of slapstick comedy. We found out by complete accident. The whole family was lying in bed when we playfully pushed Remy and she ‘fell’ back and laughed. Mila cracked up. Like, full-on belly laugh. It was hilarious so we did what every parent would do… we kept on ‘pushing’ the kids. And every single time, she would belly laugh.

A bit of a health update: She’s perfectly fine. Well, mostly.

This past month has been a whirlwind of appointments. We The first appointment was an echocardiogram at Akron Children’s Hospital. The technician let us know that there was nothing that required immediate attention and sent us on our way.

The second appointment was a dermatologist appointment at the Cleveland Clinic. These world-renowned doctors let us know that, again, while it’s odd that her hands and feet are still purple (a condition that should correct itself the first few weeks after birth), there didn’t appear to be anything causing it. At least not outwardly. I was asked quite a bit about whether or not autoimmune diseases run in our family (none to which I’m aware of), and we decided that if she still has this condition at her six-month well-visit, we’ll do a blood draw to test for things like lupus.

Just as I thought we were totally in the clear, I received a call from our pediatricians’ office. They called and said that the echo showed a hole in her heart and they wanted to refer her to a pediatric cardiologist at Akron Children’s Hospital. And, sigh, my heart fell. It wasn’t quite what I was expecting, but I knew that if it was anything serious, they never would have let us leave her echo.

So we saw a cardiologist and it was explained to us that 20% of all grown adults have this hole in their heart (from birth) and they may never be aware of it. She’s perfectly healthy, heart-wise — no murmur, nothing. In fact, she doesn’t even want to see us back! Hooray!

We’ll just be awaiting our 6-month well-visit to see if her hands and feet are still purple. That’s it!

Food? Not yet.

We haven’t yet started on food or cereal. But we are still EBF (exclusively breastfeeding). She’s gaining weight, which is a good sign. Truthfully, I’ve never doubted my ability to nourish my children. But the fact remains — she was born my largest baby at 8 lbs, which means she ‘should’ be following a heavier growth curve than she is. But my children are small — they always have been. So I’m not surprised that she dropped off her original curve and she’s trending more like my first two babies.

We never used cereal or rice with the first two babies (personal decision), but I considered it this third time around. I haven’t ruled it out (yet) but I’m holding off until our 6-month appointment. From her specialist appointments this past month, I have zero weight worries. She gained and gained with every appointment!

Sleep? Sometimes.

We’ve been super hit or miss this last month. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t frustrated. She’s been doing an awful lot of cluster feeding lately (thanks to a growth spurt and teething), so there are many . nights where I’m basically pulling an all-nighter. And then other nights she seems to sleep for 6-hour stretches. It’s weird. I can’t find a pattern. I’m just hoping it levels off soon.

We’re technically still co-sleeping (same room, not bedsharing), but as soon as we’re in the new house she’ll be in a separate room. I know it will be an adjustment, but we’ll all be adjusting to our new home, so fingers crossed that helps.

No more babies.

I honestly cannot wait to spend this holiday season with my little (big?) family of 5. I’m finally comfortable saying “We’re good with three kids. Believe it or not, I was considering a fourth just a few months back. But now that we’ve moved into our new home, I’m ready to settle into our family as it is. I feel like this new house may be our fourth ‘baby’. Ha!

So for now, I’ll just be over here eating up this last baby stage. Ever laugh, every thigh roll, every breastfeeding punch, and every sleepless night… I’ll just eat it all up.

Happy 5 months, Mila Rose. ♥ ♥

 

We’ve been keeping a secret

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(No, it’s not a baby.)

We bought a new home! Our FOREVER home!

Long story short, we weren’t in the market, per se. But the perfect house was put for sale by owner just an eighth of a mile down the street from us. We went to see it on a Thursday, went back for a second look on a Friday, put in an offer and had it accepted on Saturday, and signed the contract on Sunday.

The house is double the size of our current house. It’s 4 bedrooms, 2 baths, a gorgeous kitchen, high ceilings, original wood framing from 1900, a huge yard, and a basement! I fell in love right away and thank goodness they accepted our negotiations (there were several times that I thought they would walk away and it resulted in a serious loss of sleep and many tears).

We close next week (even though I’ve been SUPER anxious to try and get in sooner) and then we’ll start taking things over. Packing has been a struggle thanks to three tiny humans and a full workload. But shortly after we move, our current house will go up on the market!

I just can’t wait to start living here… and neither can the kids!

So I guess this is to say, my life is going to continue to get crazier over the next month or so. Ha!

PS. For all of the times I asked for positive vibes over the last month on Instagram, this is why.

Making Room To Give with Sam’s Club

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This post is sponsored by Depend, Poise, Ensure, and Glucerna but the content and opinions expressed here are my own.

It’s hard to believe that in just a couple of short weeks I will be turning 34. It’s weird because if I can nearly be considered ‘middle aged’ then what does that make our parents? As much as I hate to believe it, my parents and my husband’s parents are getting older. And since we are pretty much the only family around, I’m certain that their care will eventually fall to us. Whether or not we care to admit this, this day is coming. That’s why we are preparing now.

Here’s what we’re doing to prepare for when this day comes:

1. Clearing space.

Our home is not big by any means. In fact, I’ve prided myself on the fact that we do not have more space than we need. We are content in our cozy home. I grew up in a home that was ‘cozy’ and so did my husband. But, as our parents’ age, the idea of additional space is a necessity.

So we’ve been literally and figuratively clearing space. Space in our home, space in our lives, and space in our hearts. Having three kids of our own is hard and, eventually taking on the role of adult-caregiver, it will get harder. The best thing we can do is to minimalize — toys, kitchen gadgets, stock-piled goods — it all needs to be less.

2. Using Sam’s Club Caregiver program to understand what we will need.

I am the kind of person who likes to make a plan rather than being blindsided. And with the help of resources, like the Caregiver program at Sam’s Club, I can feel ready for when that day comes. Their focus is on family caregiving and they provide resources and solutions for every situation.

Sam’s Club offers a large variety of products like Depend, Poise, Ensure, and Glucerna with options for discreet purchases (such as club pick-up and shipping) to specifically help caregivers get what they need without making their family members uncomfortable.

We recently did a big haul to make sure we are prepared for when that day comes. We purchased Glucerna shakes, Ensure shakes, Poise liners, and Depend underwear.

Having these items on-hand means we have one less thing to worry about when the day to become caregivers comes.

3. Making legal decisions now.

One of my biggest fears is that something will happen to our loved ones and we won’t have any legal authority to make decisions, whether it be financially or medically. So we took steps to make sure that we would not be in the dark.

Establishing a medical power of attorney is incredibly important. Having this means we have discussed details with our loved ones and will be able to make decisions that are in their best interests based on their desires while lucid. I realize that this can sound insensitive, but we would much rather discuss these issues now and have a plan versus being blindsided by an event.

4. Keep lines of communication open.

This may be the most difficult of all of the important line items. Communication needs to be open between all parties. Do you have siblings to keep in the loop? Discuss important things now, like who will ultimately make decisions and how those decisions will be made.

All of these things will help us to be as prepared as possible for the moment when we become caregivers to our elder generation. In all of the inevitable chaos, it’s heartwarming to know that Sam’s Club is on our side and will be there for every step of the way.