goals

the art of juggling // TFAWM an update of sorts

April 9, 2015 by Rachel 1 Comment

Guys. Let’s just cut to the chase: It sucks. Working and being the mom of a toddler sucks the big one. It’s exhausting. And I constantly feel pulled in a thousand different directions. And it is the fault of no one. It just is the life of a mom. Because moms put that kind of pressure on themselves completely on their own. I try to do it all well; but something always suffers. The thing I’ve learned in the last couple of years? The thing that suffers will NOT be my family.

Still, there are people — WOMEN MOSTLY — who say “When you’re at work, 100% focus on work; when you’re at home, 100% focus on home.” Newsflash: It isn’t that easy. For one, being a mom isn’t something you can ‘shut off.’ There’s always a parent-related to-do list that’s ongoing (ie. “Target trip: Pick up diapers after work; Must leave at exactly 5PM to make sure I pick him up from the sitter on time.”). My mind is always juggling these things. And we’re pretty much always on call for an emergency. Sure, when you’re at home with your kids, those things happen. But imagine getting that dreaded call or text from the sitter while you’re in the middle of something important at work… your mind instantly wanders because HOLY CRAP MY KID HAS AN EGG ALLERGY AND NEEDS TO BE RUSHED TO THE HOSPITAL. (Yes, this actually happened).

And when I pick him up from the sitter my thought process is as follows: “OK, I need to get him exhausted. I’ll take him to the play place for an hour. Then home to eat a super quick dinner. And then maybe a bath? Wait, who am I kidding. We won’t have time for that. It’s straight to bed. Then I have to clean, do laundry and the dishes. Maybe I’ll get to sit down for an hour before bed? Probably not.”

Really the juggling consists of dropping the ball — A LOT. I just pick up the balls and start juggling again. You kind of just have to roll with the punches and imperfections that come along with doing it all.

And for every mom who I hear say “Well I did it with TWO kids.” or “So-and-so is doing it without a problem,” I. Don’t. CARE. They are not me. And I am not them. We are all different. The one thing that binds all of us is motherhood. And that is what should unite us. Whether you are a working mom, a SAHM, a WAHM, a part-time working mom, whatever — we are all juggling.

Some have found their niche. For some that means juggling a mega career. For others that means spending all day everyday at home with little ones. And there is no judgment in which of those paths you choose to take and make your own.

Wherever each of us is on the spectrum, we’re all just doing the best that we can with our personal circumstances. For me? I thought I wanted to be a working mom. Now? Now it’s becoming clear that this path I chose may not be the best for me. Or for our family. Especially if we ever want to expand it further.

And that’s OK. I’m evolving. Perhaps I’m not evolving to everyone standards…. but I don’t need to. I’m evolving based on mine and my families needs. And I’m tired of feeling sorry about it; I’m tired of feeling guilt about not wanting my career to be my main goal; and I’m tired of explaining and/or defending myself. So I’m no longer going to. That’s all.

Sidenote: I recognize that I’m completely lucky to have a partner who is completely supportive. This mommy thing would be a lot harder on my own. But from all of the two-parent mamas I’ve spoken with, the consensus seems to be that moms take the day-to-day child-rearing burden — but fret not dads — we choose that on our own!! And if you tried to steal those things (like making doctors appointments, scheduling swim lessons, etc), we simply WOULD NOT LET YOU. No offense. Moms are just weird like this. 🙂

Additional sidenote: I don’t have ANY idea where this post is/was headed; but I just needed to put it out there. So here you go, universe. Until next time.

why I’m no longer running a spring marathon //

March 3, 2015 by Rachel 2 Comments

I must admit — I bit off more than I can chew.

There are several reasons I’ve decided not to run the Pittsburgh Marathon. But the main reason is that it is taking away from time with my husband and son.

Don’t get things twisted — Chad is incredibly supportive of my aspirations to run a full marathon. But I just can’t justify the time it’s taking away from my family for training. It’s becoming more and more stressful on me than it should be. And less and less fun.

Working all day, coming home and “working” at home, followed by making sure I fit in my training runs is becoming more than a chore. It’s making me dread working out. And I’m spending much more time “watching” Chad + Ari play than I am actually playing with them. Literally. I watch them play next to the treadmill while I run.

And I hate it. By the time I’m finished with my runs, it’s time to shower, eat, and head to bed. There is little to no time available to spend with Chad, because all of this running is forcing me to need even more rest.

So I’m choosing my marriage and my family over this marathon. I’m choosing snuggles and stories and bedtime rituals; I’m choosing running for fun instead of running for miles; I’m choosing TV on the couch with my husband; and I’m choosing to run the half marathon on May 2nd instead of the full marathon.

I’ve been tossing the idea around in my head for the last week, but I finally verbalized things the other day to Chad. I told him my fears of the word “quit.” But in all truth, I’d rather be a quitter at marathon training than a quitter at my family and my marriage.

Thank you to my family + friends for already being incredibly supportive of this “adjustment” to my plans! 🙂

weekly mantra //

February 9, 2015 by Rachel Leave a Comment

This feels incredibly appropriate considering this weeks long run is 13.1 miles. So while most people look forward to the weekend? I’ll be anxious… mixed with a teeny bit of dread. Eek! I need to remember that regardless of how long it takes, I can do it! I realized this past weekend as I was running 10 slushy, cold, miles… that it is all mental. My body? It can handle anything.

And that translates into everyday life, too! I’m going to OWN this week! xo

Fitness Goals // Update

November 11, 2014 by Rachel 1 Comment

Confession: I’ve been majorly, majorly, slacking since the Akron Half Marathon. I needed a break. I needed to stop training and I needed to workout when I wanted to work out — not when I “had” to work out.

Buuuuuut … that’s finally taking a toll on me. I’ve been running a few miles here and there, but I just hopped back on the fitness wagon again in a for-real kind of way.

It’s amazing how taking small steps can make a huge impact on how you feel, like going to the gym and forcing yourself to workout or run… which I’ve done several times in the last week. Extra bonus? Forcing myself to take a restorative yoga class when the type-A side of me (which is most of me), thinks I “must” take a hot power class. That restorative class was JUST what I needed!

Updated Fitness Goals:

Finish a full marathon. I’m officially signed up for the Pittsburgh Marathon in May 2015! That’s insane!!

Be a cross-training fool. Weight lifting, elliptical, etc. MUST dos!

Get back to clean eating ALL of the time. Post-half I started slacking in a major way. I’m not eating terribly, but I certainly haven’t been eating consciously.

Do yoga. Lots of yoga. And don’t underestimate the value of restorative yoga. Do lots of restorative yoga!

Try crossfit. Even if it’s just once. I’d love to know if I like it or hate it. But I’m nervous that if I like it, I’ll love it.

My goals are simple… ish. Simplistic, yes. But that marathon?? NOT going to be simple! Luckily I have a great team on my side — a husband who will support me while I train and a friend who promises to pace me during the race! 🙂 What more could a first time marathoner ask for?? [cough-cough — perhaps a warm winter for training?? OK, now I’m just being picky.]

Have any marathon training tips? Or crossfit tips? Or clean recipes?? Please share!!

Ready To Run //

September 26, 2014 by Rachel 1 Comment

After months of pretending that this day would never come — it’s here. It’s real.

Tonight I will not sleep.

I will toss.

I will turn.

I will spend the entire night in anticipation of tomorrow.

Of starting in a corral for the first time ever.

Of running my first real-deal race.

13.1 miles.

See you tomorrow, Blue Line.

And see you tomorrow, Canal Park Finish Line.

Wish me luck, friends!

Just Keep Running // Training Update

July 29, 2014 by Rachel 2 Comments

A while back I set what seemed like a lofty goal. Scratch that — while I was running the Akron Marathon Relay last year I made a promise to myself that I would run the Akron Half Marathon this year. That’s right. I decided in the middle of my first major race that I would run the same race the following year — but in doing so I would complete my first ever half marathon.

I knew then and there that the energy and excitement I felt during the relay race would be enough to push me through a half marathon. Plus, seeing the hundreds of other men and women pumped up for 13.1 miles was inspiring. If ALL of these people could commit to finishing 13.1 miles, what could possibly be holding me back from doing the same thing!?

Well now I’m on week SIX of my training plan — I’m halfway there!! And over halfway there in distance!

Here’s how I’ve been working in my training runs:

3 mornings a week I get up early and head to the towpath trail to fit in 3 or 4 miles (usually 4 miles, 3 miles and then 4 miles another day). The other days I do my best to fit in some sort of strength training (which for me has been HIIT workouts via Turbo Fire — they are quick and intense!). Additionally – LOTS of stretching; even on days that I’m not running. And on Sundays I gear up for my ‘long run,’ which I’ve been trying to do with a group or partner (it makes the time pass by much more quickly and the miles not seem as long).

This past weekend I planned on using my long run day (Sunday) to run 7-miles. I started with a group of women from Cleveland MRTT. They were planning on running 9 miles at a 10-minute mile pace. But instead of turning around at 3.5 miles, I kept on.

… but I ended up running 8-miles instead. I just felt so awesome that I didn’t even need to stop!

The best part? I finished with a 9 minute, 13 second per mile pace!! It was incredibly consistent for my longest run to date! And I set a couple of PR’s! Woo hoo!

And yes, I’ve been taking post-run selfies every time I run. No, not because I’m super vain, but because I want to document my progress and how I’m feeling via pictures while I go through this process.

Sidenote: I am growing my hair back out and I am HATING the length. So right now I do what I can with it. Which isn’t much. Ugh. Oh well.

Over the next couple of weeks I’ll be fitting in a couple more long training runs, including the Perfect 10 Miler! I hadn’t planned on running a 10-mile race before the half marathon; but after talking to some of the MRTT ladies, my plan is to run it as a training run versus a race. That way I get some race-day jitters out of the way, plus knock out 10 miles I’ll need to do anyways!

Hopefully over the course of the next couple of months, the half marathon race course will start to look a bit less intimidating…

And I’ve yet to set a timed goal for the race. Right now my only goal is to finish. Any suggestions for goal times??