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Birth Story of Mila Rose

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Part of me wanted to write this while it was fresh in my mind. I had jotted down bits and pieces just after delivery but I somehow failed at getting it all out coherently. Perhaps it was all too raw to put into meaningful sentences at the time, but I’m finally ready to put pen to paper.

Although this would be my third baby, I was terrified of labor and delivery. In the days and weeks prior to my due date, I kept giving myself pep talk after pep talk. I stayed hydrated. I made lists. I did everything I could to make this a smooth process. But the fear of both previous deliveries weighed heavy on my mind.

A little recap if you’re new around here: Ari (my first) was a 24-hour labor with intense vomiting and dehydration. I ended up getting an epidural at the 23rd hour and finally dilating from 3cm to 10cm in a matter of 60 minutes. Remy (my second) was the most incredible labor process: I was able to speak in between contractions and felt fine without any pain medications. But when it came time to push, I felt like I was going to die. I ended up pushing her out drug-free and very quickly. 

Like previous pregnancies, my due date — June 16th — came and went without fanfare. I awoke at 1 am on Tuesday, June 19th, with some painful contractions. I readied myself for a long day by trying to sleep in between, but it was difficult.

But that’s good, right? That meant it was real labor!

So I called my mom at 7 AM and let her know that I was up most of the night with contractions. I was sending Chad to work for the day so I told her to go ahead and go in and I’d call her later, too. She had a 5-hour drive ahead of her, but I had a friend locally that would be taking the kids until she arrived.

Around 2:30 PM or so I let my friend Kerry know that I needed her to come and get the kids. The kids were picked up and Chad arrived home a few minutes later. He went upstairs to lie down for a bit and prepare for a busy evening of baby-birthing!

I finally decided to call my OBGYN and let them know about my contractions. They had been between 3-8 minutes apart since 1 AM and I was finally getting the constant “I have to poop” feeling. The office urged me to come in right away since my contractions were so close together, so I woke Chad up after only 10 minutes.

When we arrived at the hospital at 4:30 PM, triage checked my cervix. I was only 2cm dilated. Not surprising, considering my history of not dilating until the very last minute. I communicated that to my nurses. They basically ignored me. I was told that they would admit me under the pretense of knowing that if I didn’t begin to dilate further within a matter of 2-hours, they would take measures to help induce labor.

I gave them the answer they wanted to hear at that point — “Okay.” But I very much discussed with Chad that if they tried to break my water or give me pitocin, we would decline. I was still going for my epidural-free delivery and any interventions of the sort would have caused me to have more pain before my body was ready.

So I was admitted to my room and continued to labor with increasing intensity. I tried the birthing ball and walking, but I just couldn’t get comfortable. The only way I was making it through my contractions was by standing up and leaning on the counter in the room. Chad tried cracking jokes a few times and I shut it down immediately. This was hard labor and I was not up for the jokes.

Every contraction felt like I had to push. Several hours of this feeling and check after check revealed very little change in my dilation. At one point the anesthesiologist came in to introduce herself. I kindly let her know that I was attempting a drug-free delivery and she acknowledged but insisted that we still go through the questionnaire regarding my health history.

Around 10:30 PM I had a contraction that I knew was the beginning of “transition”. For the first time, I grabbed a barf bag and as that contraction hit, I couldn’t stop throwing up. I was literally crossing my legs every contraction. for fear of pushing. The resident checked me again — only 5cm dilated.

Only 5. Hours and hours into labor. I was so discouraged. Each contraction was getting increasingly more intense.

Chad finally said, “Are you going drug-free just to say you did it again?” Truthfully, I wasn’t. But I just (thought) I could do it again; I wanted to believe my body could handle it.

I finally said that I desperately needed that epidural in order to make it through labor. The anesthesiologist was about to head out for a procedure but came running in to help me. At this point, the contractions were coming back to back. I was unable to move or breathe and the pushing sensation was intensifying.

As the anesthesiologist was prepping I yelled out that I felt like I couldn’t stop from pushing. I was checked again — 7cm. The epidural seemed to take forever. I was sitting as still as I could, crossing my legs, and screaming out in pain pretty much nonstop. Once the epidural was placed and the medicine was inserted, I thought I had to push again. I was checked once again — 9cm. I still felt all of it. I needed to know when the medicine would start to work. I was screaming at the anesthesiologist, asking why it wasn’t working. To which she kindly replied that it takes about 15-minutes to kick in.

After the 15-minutes had passed I was still feeling so much pain. She inserted even more medicine in hopes to get me comfortable — or at least not writhing in pain. Another 15 minutes later and it seemed to be working. My OB walked in and did another dilation check — 10cm.

I may not be able to handle the pain, but I know my body. I knew that when I (finally) started to dilate, it would be fast. So here we are at 11:45 PM and I’m being told that I can push at my next contraction. I have to say that the epidural must have been placed perfectly because I could not feel a single thing during pushing and it was the perfect pushing experience.

I pushed for about 4 contractions and she was here!

Mila Rose, born at 12:16 AM on Wednesday, June 20th. Weighing in at 8lbs half of an ounce and 19-inches long! Nearly 24-hours of labor but perfect in every way. Welcome to our little family, Mila. You are already so loved. ♥

Photos: Shorter Shots Photography

6 Tips For An Unmedicated Childbirth

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Just 5 and a half short weeks separate me from meeting Baby #3. And, though I’ve been in disbelief for most of this pregnancy, it’s all starting to get real. Really real.

See, I know that in order to meet this beautiful new baby, I first have to endure childbirth. Beautiful, terrifying, childbirth.

For those who are new around here, you may not know that I prepared myself for an unmedicated childbirth 6 years ago with our son. I took Bradley Method birthing classes (12 weeks of intensive classes) and readied myself accordingly; but after 24-hours of awful labor, I finally gave in to an epidural.

With our daughter, just 2 years ago, I felt much more prepared — having been through labor before, but also knowing things they just can’t teach in childbirth classes — and I labored without medication and delivered Remy just a few hours later.

But I’m still nervous about the prospect of childbirth. There’s always the fear of the unknown — of not knowing how this labor will progress; when this labor will begin; and what state I’ll be in.

So in an effort to remind myself of WHY and HOW to attempt an unmedicated labor and delivery, I’m sharing my tips below!

1. Educate yourself.

I’m going to be honest — I have a passion for self-education. But what fueled that fire even more? Taking a birthing class. As mentioned above, I chose the Bradley Method birthing course because of its focus on natural, unmedicated, birthing education. It was 12-weeks of classes. Twelve very intensive weeks. I learned so much and it opened up my eyes to so much.

So if you’re planning on an unmedicated delivery, I highly suggest taking a Bradley Method course (there are local teachers all over the US). If you can’t take one of these courses, still get the book Husband-Coached Childbirth and give it a read!

2. Have a plan.

… a birth plan, that is. Know exactly what you will and will not do when it’s go-time. My main points to be noted for my nurses and my doctors is that I would prefer (a) to only have a Hep-Lock (or a Saline Lock), which is basically an IV catheter, and (b) having intermittent monitoring versus constant monitoring.

Basically, to state this at the beginning of admittance is saying “Here, nurses + doctors: The IV is ready if needed and I will monitor as you see fit; but that also means that I can get up and labor out of bed, without restrictions.”

Know what you want your restrictions to be and write them down. Yes, write them down, type them out, or have a list on your phone of things you want done. Whatever you do, be prepared to communicate with your team!

3. Have a support system.

My husband sat through every second of those 12 weeks of childbirth classes. It not only helped us to be on the same page with what we wanted our labor and delivery experience to be; but it helped him to become more comfortable with the fact that he would be seeing me in a tremendous amount of pain.

We communicated that the one thing I would need in those moments was unwavering support. I needed him to be strong in the moments where I could not; and I needed him to have my back for my birth plan, in case someone offered to ‘intervene.’ He did both of those things both times. He never once suggested an epidural and never once wavered from seeing me in pain.

Sure, later, he admitted that it was incredibly difficult to watch me and be unable to make the pain stop; but he did exactly what I needed him to do in those moments.

4. Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate.

I cannot say this enough. I think the downfall of my first delivery was that I started laboring while dehydrated (turns out iced coffee doesn’t boast excellent hydration…). And, from there, the dehydration sort of snowballed. And the cramping was excruciating because my body just couldn’t keep up.

When I felt the beginning contractions with baby number 2, I immediately kicked up my water intake. I was already drinking lots and lots of water; but I just started drinking even more of it! And to NOT be battling dehydration while laboring was a HUGE benefit. I swear that this is what helped me make my way through contractions.

5. Be prepared.

Make sure your hospital bag is packed — and packed with the items that will help you. I feel immensely more weak when I am nauseous; knowing this, I packed several essential oils that helped ease my nausea. Between lavender and peppermint oil, I would stick a couple of drops in my hands and just sniff them when I got hit with a wave of nausea.

I also found music that was comforting to me. I didn’t know what that music would be before my contractions started; but once I found a few songs that helped me to focus, I played them on repeat. (Unrelated: To this day, those songs make me incredibly emotional, just bringing back thoughts of those final moments before I met her.)

If you have something — a physical object — that brings you comfort, bring it with you. For some, this could be a pillow. For others, this could be a stuffed animal. Really, it could be anything. But if it brings you any comfort, do not hesitate to bring it along.

6. Know that you are capable.

I still think back on both of my experiences and am so proud for what I accomplished — bringing a new life into this world is no easy feat! I know that if I hadn’t been so sick with my first labor, I could have done it without that epidural; but actually doing it the second time around? Was life-changing. I felt so strong and so powerful.

And, although I am nervous about this upcoming labor and delivery (because, pain), I know that I am capable of absolutely tremendous things.

If you’ve been through childbirth,

what would you recommend doing to support

an unmedicated labor and delivery?

 

Remy Bea // Birth Story Part 2

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See Part 1 of Remy Bea’s birth story here.

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Okay, I know I said the last post was going to be super long, but this one is even longer… sorry!

I really should have known (or at least checked) to see that it was a full moon. However, the rest of the regular ER was empty. Weird.

So we got transported (immediately) up to Labor and Delivery Triage, where I was to be examined to determine if I was in real labor or not. I still wasn’t convinced of anything. In fact, I was certain that because my upper abdomen wasn’t at all contracting, we would be sent home.

I saw a nurse in triage — one I had seen during a previous visit when I was there for high blood pressure — and I wasn’t too keen with our first interaction. From my previous experience with her, and the beginning of this one, she was short and curt. Not the most friendly bedside manner, but I knew she was just getting me ‘checked in’ anyways.

Of course, when I got to the exam room, my contractions were spaced out about 10 minutes. But they put me on the monitor, to catch contractions and to monitor Baby Girl. I started having contractions again, but I was still able to answer most of the nurses questions in between the contractions.

The resident came in to do a check for dilation and, of course, I was having a contraction. To my surprise, when she checked me I was 3cm.  The nurse came back and decided that they needed to monitor Baby Girl just a little bit more because they weren’t picking up many of her movements. So they strapped me to the monitor and I started having even more contractions. [PS. not ONE of my contractions was ever picked up on the doppler monitors because they were all too low — I NEVER had an upper abdomen contraction. Not even one.]

About 15 minutes later, I had a hep-lock put in (instead of an IV). Just as she was putting in the hep-lock, I had a mega contraction. I started to feel incredibly nauseous. I asked for a barf bag and began vomiting uncontrollably. Then another doctor came in to check on me and see my progress. He/she (is it sad that I don’t remember this part) checked to see how dilated I was. And it turns out I had progressed from 3 to 5cm in just 15 short minutes. Right then, Baby Girls heart rate dropped significantly. The nurse ordered me to flip over to all-fours to try and get her heart rate back up, which I did. The nurse made sure her heart rate was back up before I flipped back over for another exam.

I was already at 6cm. Up a centimeter from the last check. The nurse started to freak out because I was dilating so quickly (especially after hearing that I stayed at 3cm with Ari until the last hour — and then in just 60 minutes I had dilated to 10cm with him). She said they didn’t want to wait for a wheelchair; she wanted to just wheel the whole bed down to my labor and delivery room.

[Funny side story: On my way to my room, I asked why the hall was SO quiet, considering there were about 6 people in labor. The nurse laughed and said “they all chose to have an epidural!” PS. Thanks to me, it didn’t stay quiet!]

The nurse told us she would be with me for the duration. They were super backed up — my doctor, alone, had 2 other women in active labor at the hospital). At this point my contractions were coming and going, lasting only about 45-60 seconds each [so, so, much different than with Ari!]. I was still able to talk between my contractions, which made things easier. In fact, I was even laughing a little bit!

My doctor arrived and let me know that he had another patient ready to push, so he would come back when she was done and break my water. He’s thought [and the nurses thought] behind doing this was that it would speed things up and I would deliver in no-time at all.

I, on the other hand, wasn’t convinced. I knew that breaking my water would cause the contractions to become even more intense. And while, yes, it could help progress labor, it may also stall it. I was nervous, but Chad and I decided that we trusted these people who were already helping so much!

Through each contraction, my nurse and Chad both helped coach me… to continue breathing, to relax, and to just keep breathing. I remembered thinking “each contraction is bringing me closer.”

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Before I knew it, my doctor had come back in. He said the other patients contractions were stalling, so he wanted to break my water. Before he broke my water, he checked me — 7cm! While he was prepping to break my water, my nurse was prepping the labor tub. I was determined to get in that tub to help me through my contractions. Upon breaking my water, it was determined that there was a lot of meconium in my fluid. So no tub allowed for me. 🙁

Because of the heavy meconium levels, the NICU team was prepped and ready for delivery. But right after the doctor broke my water, he left the room to check on another patient. And I had an incredibly strong contraction. I told the nurse, “I need to poop!” It was the strongest feeling I had had, yet. She called the Resident in because she wanted her to check me, again — already.

The nurse advised me not to push yet… so I just held to the side of the bed and screamed in agony. The Resident checked me right afterward and said I was still just 7cm. Another strong contraction came on and I screamed “I NEED TO PUSH NOW!” and so the nurse & resident told me to push as hard as I could, while simultaneously they yelled “DR. H! GET IN HERE NOW! — NICU TEAM, NOW!” and I pushed but nothing was happening.

I looked at my nurse and screamed and cried and yelled “I CAN’T DO THIS!” She yelled back at me to breathe and to calm down and to just keep breathing… She assured me I could do this.

Before I knew it there was a whole team of doctors in my room. I couldn’t open my eyes, though, so I can’t remember who they were. I yelled, again, “I HAVE TO PUSH!” and even though I was only 7cm, the doctors & nurse yelled at me to push as hard as I could. I was still laying on my side and my nurse told me I needed to lay on my back (because I was literally closing myself off by laying on my side in a fetal position). I screamed “I CAN’T!” and she yelled back “YES YOU CAN!”

As she was screaming at me, someone (I’m honestly not sure who — Chad? A doctor? Another nurse? No clue.) pulled me onto my back and held my leg down and my shoulder down. And they all screamed at me to PUSH!

So I did. As hard as I possibly could. Meanwhile, my doctor and the resident were both physically helping to open up my cervix — which hurt. A LOT. So my physical response? Was to kick at them. Because that s*** hurt. Still the same contraction, I pushed again. And screamed a lot. And they continued to work on my cervix. And then one last HUGE push…

And in that one push her head and shoulders came out and my doctor pulled her out.

And they all told me to look down at her, but my eyes were squeezed so tightly closed that I couldn’t see anything when I opened them.

As soon as she came out, a HUGE, I mean HUGE, gush of fluid/water came out of me. ALL of the pain I had from pregnancy was explained in that one huge gush… I had an excess of fluid in me; specifically in my upper abdomen (where I’d been so uncomfortable all along).

With the excess fluid came even more meconium than the doctors had anticipated. She was whisked away to be checked by the NICU team. During the ten minutes that separated me and Remy, Chad kept a close eye on her and I delivered my placenta… which had so much meconium it was green on the inside. Super scary!

She was cleared by NICU and weighed at 6lbs 15oz, 20 inches long! Chad snapped this picture while we were waiting for the all-clear:

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I had well over two hours of skin-to-skin. She latched on immediately for seriously two hours of nursing! I was amazed. Ari had failed to ever latch and this girl was a latching machine!

My labor and delivery were not at all as I anticipated. I didn’t actually think I could do it all-natural and drug-free. In fact, looking back, I’m not certain I would ever, ever, make that choice again. But I did it. I can’t believe I did it.

And the nurse that I thought, upon admission, was salty?? I honestly could not have done it without her. She got in my face and screamed at me when I needed it (in the most loving way possible). And my husband helped me through contractions with helping my nausea disappear (thanks, essential oils!).

And I only threw up once! Hooray! Much, much different than my experience with Ari.

Once we made it up to our Mother/Baby room, I was able to get up and walk around with seriously no pain (except for an aching back from intense back labor). It’s amazing how quickly my body has been able to ‘jump back,’ which I totally credit to a short/natural labor.

Extra bonus? Remy Bea’s head is super round — almost like a c-section baby! — because she spent literally like 30 seconds in my birth canal. LOL!

So to the doctors, the nurses, and the entire staff at Summa Akron City Hospital, I thank you for your love, support and guidance throughout my labor!

PS. I asked Chad to get a vasectomy before I even met Remy Bea. Ha! Yep, natural labor sucked.