authentic

Blogging // Authenticity // and the Truth

May 19, 2015 by Rachel 5 Comments

I created my blog years ago as a space and an outlet for me to share the happenings in my life with myself and a few people who may actually read it at the time. Over the years it transitioned from me being single and living in Syracuse; to Chad and I dating; to us living 6-hours apart and dating long-distance; then to us moving in together; and then to us getting married and starting a family.

Along the way it’s remained a place where I share my hopes and my dreams; my passion for creating a healthy lifestyle (while being completely honest with myself and the world about continuing to seek balance throughout the process); local events and happenings; and the everyday hum-drum of my life.

One thing that has changed over the last 7.5 years is opportunity. Blogging has created enormous opportunity in my life. I’ve met some incredible people in-real-life thanks to friendships created over the internet and social media — because I put myself out there. I’ve been around people from all different walks of life that I wouldn’t have met otherwise; and for that I’m incredibly grateful.

Blogging has also brought me a teeny bit of financial opportunity via sponsored and reviewed posts. And while that hasn’t quite been a life-changing amount of extra income, it certainly has helped. I don’t do them often and they seem to come in waves where I have months without an offer and then two at a time.

However, this is really and truly none of anyones business. In fact, the great thing about the internet and social media is that we are all free to share what we want. But we are also free to see what we want. We can follow whoever we’d like on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook; and we choose to follow those that we don’t align with. When you open a blog, follow a person on twitter, or engage in social media, YOU ARE PROVIDING CONSENT TO WHAT YOU ARE SEEING, whether you agree with the subject matter or not.

I received a nasty comment in regards to losing my authenticity of blogging with my recent sponsored posts yesterday. I have not yet approved the comment; but I’ve also not yet denied it. (Sidenote to people who leave fake or anonymous info: IP addresses don’t lie). It hurt. It shouldn’t have, but it did. The words didn’t exactly hurt; but the idea that someone would go out of their way to be nasty to another person? that is something that in my 30 years I have YET to wrap my head around.

Here’s the truth: I’m not always authentic. None of us are. But — dammit! — I try my hardest to do so. I put myself out there — the good, the bad, and the ugly parts that no one else has the balls to talk about. I’m a hard working mom. I’m a full-time employee for a huge company (to which I’ve been employed for the last ten years). I am a partner to my husband. We run a household together. And we try to work in some fun in our spare time. And in addition to that? I share parts of it here on my blog. Because each of us chooses what and with who we share things; each of us crafts an online persona; and that isn’t being inauthentic — it’s simply just a piece of our true selves.

So basically thanks for the perspective on my blog, commenter. 🙂

the art of juggling // TFAWM an update of sorts

April 9, 2015 by Rachel 1 Comment

Guys. Let’s just cut to the chase: It sucks. Working and being the mom of a toddler sucks the big one. It’s exhausting. And I constantly feel pulled in a thousand different directions. And it is the fault of no one. It just is the life of a mom. Because moms put that kind of pressure on themselves completely on their own. I try to do it all well; but something always suffers. The thing I’ve learned in the last couple of years? The thing that suffers will NOT be my family.

Still, there are people — WOMEN MOSTLY — who say “When you’re at work, 100% focus on work; when you’re at home, 100% focus on home.” Newsflash: It isn’t that easy. For one, being a mom isn’t something you can ‘shut off.’ There’s always a parent-related to-do list that’s ongoing (ie. “Target trip: Pick up diapers after work; Must leave at exactly 5PM to make sure I pick him up from the sitter on time.”). My mind is always juggling these things. And we’re pretty much always on call for an emergency. Sure, when you’re at home with your kids, those things happen. But imagine getting that dreaded call or text from the sitter while you’re in the middle of something important at work… your mind instantly wanders because HOLY CRAP MY KID HAS AN EGG ALLERGY AND NEEDS TO BE RUSHED TO THE HOSPITAL. (Yes, this actually happened).

And when I pick him up from the sitter my thought process is as follows: “OK, I need to get him exhausted. I’ll take him to the play place for an hour. Then home to eat a super quick dinner. And then maybe a bath? Wait, who am I kidding. We won’t have time for that. It’s straight to bed. Then I have to clean, do laundry and the dishes. Maybe I’ll get to sit down for an hour before bed? Probably not.”

Really the juggling consists of dropping the ball — A LOT. I just pick up the balls and start juggling again. You kind of just have to roll with the punches and imperfections that come along with doing it all.

And for every mom who I hear say “Well I did it with TWO kids.” or “So-and-so is doing it without a problem,” I. Don’t. CARE. They are not me. And I am not them. We are all different. The one thing that binds all of us is motherhood. And that is what should unite us. Whether you are a working mom, a SAHM, a WAHM, a part-time working mom, whatever — we are all juggling.

Some have found their niche. For some that means juggling a mega career. For others that means spending all day everyday at home with little ones. And there is no judgment in which of those paths you choose to take and make your own.

Wherever each of us is on the spectrum, we’re all just doing the best that we can with our personal circumstances. For me? I thought I wanted to be a working mom. Now? Now it’s becoming clear that this path I chose may not be the best for me. Or for our family. Especially if we ever want to expand it further.

And that’s OK. I’m evolving. Perhaps I’m not evolving to everyone standards…. but I don’t need to. I’m evolving based on mine and my families needs. And I’m tired of feeling sorry about it; I’m tired of feeling guilt about not wanting my career to be my main goal; and I’m tired of explaining and/or defending myself. So I’m no longer going to. That’s all.

Sidenote: I recognize that I’m completely lucky to have a partner who is completely supportive. This mommy thing would be a lot harder on my own. But from all of the two-parent mamas I’ve spoken with, the consensus seems to be that moms take the day-to-day child-rearing burden — but fret not dads — we choose that on our own!! And if you tried to steal those things (like making doctors appointments, scheduling swim lessons, etc), we simply WOULD NOT LET YOU. No offense. Moms are just weird like this. 🙂

Additional sidenote: I don’t have ANY idea where this post is/was headed; but I just needed to put it out there. So here you go, universe. Until next time.

why I’m no longer running a spring marathon //

March 3, 2015 by Rachel 2 Comments

I must admit — I bit off more than I can chew.

There are several reasons I’ve decided not to run the Pittsburgh Marathon. But the main reason is that it is taking away from time with my husband and son.

Don’t get things twisted — Chad is incredibly supportive of my aspirations to run a full marathon. But I just can’t justify the time it’s taking away from my family for training. It’s becoming more and more stressful on me than it should be. And less and less fun.

Working all day, coming home and “working” at home, followed by making sure I fit in my training runs is becoming more than a chore. It’s making me dread working out. And I’m spending much more time “watching” Chad + Ari play than I am actually playing with them. Literally. I watch them play next to the treadmill while I run.

And I hate it. By the time I’m finished with my runs, it’s time to shower, eat, and head to bed. There is little to no time available to spend with Chad, because all of this running is forcing me to need even more rest.

So I’m choosing my marriage and my family over this marathon. I’m choosing snuggles and stories and bedtime rituals; I’m choosing running for fun instead of running for miles; I’m choosing TV on the couch with my husband; and I’m choosing to run the half marathon on May 2nd instead of the full marathon.

I’ve been tossing the idea around in my head for the last week, but I finally verbalized things the other day to Chad. I told him my fears of the word “quit.” But in all truth, I’d rather be a quitter at marathon training than a quitter at my family and my marriage.

Thank you to my family + friends for already being incredibly supportive of this “adjustment” to my plans! 🙂

post-holiday blues //

January 13, 2015 by Rachel 4 Comments

I know darn well I’m not alone with the post-holiday blues. As stressful as Christmas can be, there is also so much hustle, bustle and genuine cheer, it also does a good job of compounding the stress.

And then, January. Dreaded, dreaded, January.

After New Years it seemed like the weather got the memo and turned bitter cold and snowy, making daily commutes and tasks that much less enjoyable. Ugh. Throw in daycare drop offs and pick ups, layering clothes, and trying to fit in workouts. That pretty much equals a recipe for disaster. At least for some of us.

Yuck.

I know I’m not the only one who feels this way; I know that many of us suffer from the post-holiday blues… or Seasonal Affective Disorder. I’ll admit it. I’m there. I’m full-on in need of a happy lamp. In fact, I bought a groupon for a tanning salon. Yeah, yeah… I know it causes wrinkles, and normally I avoid it. But I also need a boost of endorphins.

But that’s not going to solve it all. That’s not going to fix the fact that this time of year is rough. Brutal, in fact.

But I don’t have a solution; I don’t have a cure. I just have solace. Solace in knowing that I’m not alone; that there are many other people who feel the same way; that we all need to support each other and lift each other up during these next few months. Solace in knowing that this time of year won’t last forever. I just need to stick it out — we just need to stick it out — and it will pass.

The holidays were fun. But take the next couple of months one day at a time. Find something that brightens those gray days — like tanning, working out, or anything that brings you a teeny bit of joy. And just wait for the sunshine.

It’s coming!

PS. If you need support, I’m here!

weekly mantra //

May 19, 2014 by Rachel 2 Comments

One of the reasons I hesitated in joining Team Beachbody for this last year is because I knew I would be putting myself out there in a way that would make me incredibly vulnerable. But the thing is being vulnerable and authentic will make me a better person. And who knows — maybe in doing so I’ll inspire someone else to be honest with themselves and with the people around them!

Authenticity rarely comes easy. Being our authentic selves means we are putting our truest-selves out there for the world to see and for the world to judge. So it’s sure to be a daily practice to embrace my true self! 🙂

Challenged accepted! Are you up for it? 🙂

feel supremely happy //

February 6, 2014 by Rachel Leave a Comment

In an effort to live a more authentic life in 2014 and to do so happily, I’m sharing a list of some easy tips to serve as a reminder to myself (and to you!) on how GOOD it can feel to live in a way where you feel supremely happy!

Here’s what I’m focusing on right now:

Stop trying to impress other people.
Give/get at least one hug a day.

Control your reactions.
Feed a strangers expired parking meter.

Look people in the eye when you talk to them.
Learn something new.

Donate old clothes to the Salvation Army or Goodwill.
Give away your favorite book in an effort to share your love for it with others.

I’ll check back in in just a couple of weeks!