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advice

soliciting parenting advice //

December 9, 2015 by Rachel Leave a Comment

It’s rare that I send out a mass SOS to my fellow moms + dads. In fact, I’m trying to recall a time over the last three years in which I actually begged for advice and can’t… but here I go…

About a month ago Moosh requested to watch Jumanji — a movie he’s seen several times before. We were settling in for a movie night in my bed and so I turned it on. We got 5 minutes in and he freaked out and said he was scared, so I turned it off. Mind you, this is before anything actually happens. Robin Williams character simply opens the game and the game piece moves. That’s it. Sure, it’s not the least frightening thing in the world, but it’s also not the scariest thing he’s ever seen.

And since that night, he’s refused to sleep in his own bed. Because, Jumanji. Don’t get me wrong — we’ve tried. At first we were really fighting him on it. We would put him to bed and it would take 60+ minutes of lying down with him, relaxing, and letting him fall asleep. Only to find that 10 minutes later he was screaming to open the door. Then we would try and put him back to bed, which worked for a few minutes, before he would get out yet again. After several nights in a row like this, we began to just ‘give in’ to him from the start.

I know, I know… first mistake.

But this is both a parenting fail AND a parenting win. Because we are tired, too. And we weren’t getting anywhere with putting him in his own bed. And we all desperately needed sleep. And it turns out that a lot of ‘parenting‘ is making concessions for things you were ‘certain‘ you were never going to do. And sometimes the answer is the path of least resistance. Scratch that — the answer is almost ALWAYS the path of least resistance. 

advice-1
Well, fast forward 4 weeks… and the occasional co-sleeping has become habitual co-sleeping. I even lie down with him at nap time on the weekends to get him to nap. In my bed. The whole time.

Here’s what’s running through my head:

  • This is just a phase. Let’s get it out of the way before Baby Girl is born.
  • This isn’t going to last forever. Soon enough he’ll be asserting his independence and he won’t ever want to sleep in bed with us. I should just embrace it.
  • Gosh, I’d love to be productive on a Saturday afternoon instead of lying around in bed with him for 3 hours.
  • Okay. I’d really like to go to bed later than 8pm every night of the week. And to actually spend some time with my husband having adult conversation, even if it is just for an hour each night.
  • Some kids are sick and ours is healthy and so I should just snuggle him all night every night.

advice-2
Look, I never said it was a rational train of thought… just that I keep jumping back and forth between ‘just a phase,’ and ‘dear lord make this stop.’ Because, truthfully, part of me loves it. But part of me just can’t take it anymore. And sometimes I feel both of those things at the very same time.

So tell me, friends. What do you suggest? Should we ride it out?

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Here’s what we’ve tried:

  • First, telling him that (obviously) Jumanji is pretend and nothing is going to get him.
  • Using “go away” spray at night.
  • Telling him if he sleeps in his room, when he wakes up in the morning he can just get out of bed and play with his toys.
  • Using a nightlight.

We’re open to suggestions. I’m exhausted. And last-trimester pregnancy is making me even more tired (and cranky). So I need as much sleep as I can get, but I also miss my husband. I miss just that one hour a night we need to spend with just each other. So help. Please.

Filed Under: #MomLife, advice, Ari Davis, babies, baby girl, busy mom, children, family, help, life, life with a toddler, marriage, mommyhood, Moosh, parenthood, pictures, toddler boys Tagged With: #MomLife, advice, ari davis, babies, baby girl, busy mom, children, family, help, life, life with a toddler, marriage, mommyhood, Moosh, parenthood, pictures, toddler boys, toddlers

the professor and the jar.

April 22, 2011 by Rachel 5 Comments

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I have some {or a lot of} anxiety when it comes to my schedule and to-do list. I always feel busy. I can never get everything done, and there is always so much going on. It’s easy to get overwhelmed at the thought of it.
One of the ways that I try and take a step back from all of lifes stresses is power yoga.
A common expression used in yoga is to ‘leave it off the mat.’ When you come to your mat at yoga practice, you should be escaping all of the exhausting thoughts. For those of you who have practiced yoga or meditation, you’ll know that this is much easier said than done.
But during one of my recent yoga practices at Yoga Bliss in Akron, my teacher told us this amazing story. And I decided that it has to be shared:
{image}

A Professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.


So the Professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the rocks. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The Professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous “yes.”

The Professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the space between the grains of sand.

“Now,” said the professor, as the laughter subsided, “I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The rocks are the important things–your family, your children, your health, your friends, and your favorite passions – things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, and your car. The sand is everything else -the small stuff.
{image}

“If you put the sand into the jar first,” he continued, “there is no room for the pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Go out to dinner with a loved one. Play another 18.


There will always be time to work, clean and fix things. “Take care of the rocks first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.”

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The Professor smiled. “I’m glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.”
This was exactly what I needed to hear. So many days I feel overwhelmed, and really I don’t have that much going on. I let it overwhelm me. And I shouldn’t.

This story will be something I revisit over and over again when I feel like I have no time for things in my life.

What helps you keep things in perspective?

Filed Under: advice, health, inspiration, life, optimism, quotes, thoughts

part two: recovery mode.

March 30, 2010 by Rachel 8 Comments

So while I was dealing with the anxiety of having been taken advantage of, I realized I had no idea how to move forward with the recovery process.



I filled out a form for “Can’t access your account?”

I chose “My account has been compromised,” and filled out an account recovery form.

I put in my recovery email address, filled out all the information and submitted the form.

Then, my backup (which is also my recovery email address) was compromised (aka-hijacked). So what exactly is a hijacked account? It’s when someone hacks your account and takes ownership by changing all of the password information.

This = major problems.

So the email address that was supposed to get emailed information to recover my primary email address was compromised as well.

I had no idea what to do. All of the searches we did told us we should not resubmit another account recovery form.

Finally I found out that it was safe to submit the form again. But,… in order to do this I had to create yet another backup email address so that my information could be sent there.

Yesterday morning I did this and recovered everything. Thankfully.

So thank you all for being so supportive and tryin to help me. Watch for tomorrows super informative post on how to avoid this happening to you!

Filed Under: advice, my beef, technology downfalls

help!

August 22, 2009 by Rachel 10 Comments

I need advice and help. Some of you may know that BF is watching my puppy, Oscar, this week for me. My apartment isn’t ready yet and my parents have been watching Oscar until it is ready for me to move in. My parents just left for vacation in South Carolina yesterday so I went to pick Oscar up last night and brought him with me to BFs.

BF has two cats. Both 7 years old.

Oscar is not really a puppy. He’s a 5-year-old cocker spaniel/cavalier king charles spaniel mix. He is very hyper. He is constantly acting like a crazy dog. Very excitable. Very, very friendly. He has never even come close to being aggressive. This is partially in thanks to moi (yes, I give myself credit when due). When he was a little guy, someone gave me a couple of awesome pieces of advice.

1. To avoid him having problems with people touching him, from day one, make it a point to hold his feet and play with his ears. Why? Because dogs often have issues with people pulling on their ears. Not this dog! Because I always touched his paws and ears, you could tug on them and not get a reaction.

2. Stick your fingers in his mouth. Why? Because then, at most, when he’s teething he will have something to chew on, but when they get older they won’t fear hands near their mouths. So true! When he’s playing (so at his most aggressive point) I could stick my hand/fingers in his mouth and he’ll literally spit them out.

But what I really need to know is, how do you integrate two kittens with a hyper dog? Is it possible? What can I/should I do? I’m desperate for advice. Please enlighten me!

{photo credit: me. Oscar the Grouch}

Filed Under: advice, domesticity, Oscar

i need advice

July 15, 2009 by Rachel 12 Comments

First question. Did you enter the giveaway yet? It ends in three hours! Hurry!

I’m kind of down today. I’m not sure why. I am just not feeling like myself. I’m sensitive. I’m emotional. I’m feeling like I’m going to cry.

I think the emotions of the move are really getting to me. And the change that is coming with this (the hard part of the change process) is getting to me. I’m over-sensitive right now and I know it. Ugh.

Any advice that you can give me would really help right now.

I also have another question for you. I’m going to my college roommates wedding in August. I am very excited for her! And I’m also excited that I get to play dress-up for a day! 😉
So remember this dress I posted about a while ago?


Mine’s slightly different than this. It’s a light blue at the bottom and white at the top.
So the question—is this inappropriate to wear to the ceremony?

And I have this planned to wear to the reception:

Ok. Please leave your opinions!! 🙂

Filed Under: advice, clothes

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