a better me

Blogging // Authenticity // and the Truth

May 19, 2015 by Rachel 5 Comments

I created my blog years ago as a space and an outlet for me to share the happenings in my life with myself and a few people who may actually read it at the time. Over the years it transitioned from me being single and living in Syracuse; to Chad and I dating; to us living 6-hours apart and dating long-distance; then to us moving in together; and then to us getting married and starting a family.

Along the way it’s remained a place where I share my hopes and my dreams; my passion for creating a healthy lifestyle (while being completely honest with myself and the world about continuing to seek balance throughout the process); local events and happenings; and the everyday hum-drum of my life.

One thing that has changed over the last 7.5 years is opportunity. Blogging has created enormous opportunity in my life. I’ve met some incredible people in-real-life thanks to friendships created over the internet and social media — because I put myself out there. I’ve been around people from all different walks of life that I wouldn’t have met otherwise; and for that I’m incredibly grateful.

Blogging has also brought me a teeny bit of financial opportunity via sponsored and reviewed posts. And while that hasn’t quite been a life-changing amount of extra income, it certainly has helped. I don’t do them often and they seem to come in waves where I have months without an offer and then two at a time.

However, this is really and truly none of anyones business. In fact, the great thing about the internet and social media is that we are all free to share what we want. But we are also free to see what we want. We can follow whoever we’d like on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook; and we choose to follow those that we don’t align with. When you open a blog, follow a person on twitter, or engage in social media, YOU ARE PROVIDING CONSENT TO WHAT YOU ARE SEEING, whether you agree with the subject matter or not.

I received a nasty comment in regards to losing my authenticity of blogging with my recent sponsored posts yesterday. I have not yet approved the comment; but I’ve also not yet denied it. (Sidenote to people who leave fake or anonymous info: IP addresses don’t lie). It hurt. It shouldn’t have, but it did. The words didn’t exactly hurt; but the idea that someone would go out of their way to be nasty to another person? that is something that in my 30 years I have YET to wrap my head around.

Here’s the truth: I’m not always authentic. None of us are. But — dammit! — I try my hardest to do so. I put myself out there — the good, the bad, and the ugly parts that no one else has the balls to talk about. I’m a hard working mom. I’m a full-time employee for a huge company (to which I’ve been employed for the last ten years). I am a partner to my husband. We run a household together. And we try to work in some fun in our spare time. And in addition to that? I share parts of it here on my blog. Because each of us chooses what and with who we share things; each of us crafts an online persona; and that isn’t being inauthentic — it’s simply just a piece of our true selves.

So basically thanks for the perspective on my blog, commenter. 🙂

the evolution of a working mom. (PS. I’m sorry for all of the judgment before)

March 17, 2015 by Rachel 1 Comment

I recently came across this article about how childless women judge working moms. I admit – I’m completely guilty of this. In fact, when we found out we were expecting Ari, one of my fears was how this unexpected pregnancy was going to affect my career. Even long before our unexpected pregnancy, I would think to myself “If I ever end up pregnant, I would still want to work full time. How could anyone want to give up something so fulfilling as working outside of the home?”

Even after Ari was born, I looked forward to going back to work. Sure, not right away. I definitely enjoyed my maternity leave. Well, scratch that – I loved the fact that I didn’t have to juggle work and getting absolutely zero sleep for three months. And having the holidays off didn’t hurt, that’s for sure.

But I looked forward to going back to work. I remember it being more sweet than bitter. I wanted to be around real talking human beings. I mean, I had it rough at home — Ari was colicky for months and months. He refused to sleep and spent most of the day (probably 20 out of 24 hours) screaming and crying. It was awful. So I practically RAN back to work. Seriously.

That feeling lasted for months after I went back to work. And shortly after Ari started sleeping through the night, something started to change. And not just the feeling of being semi-rested; but something in me started to ache to spend more time with Ari.

And that’s part of what prompted me to change my position at work for a job that provided me with more daytime hours with Ari. My work day started at 2pm instead of 8am which gave me plenty of time to have lazy mornings with him. And for a while, that was fulfilling enough. Sure, that meant I had to give up Saturdays to work instead of spending it with Chad and Ari. But the benefits outweighed that con.

Over the last year, perhaps after Ari started becoming less of a baby and more of a toddler, things have majorly shifted for me.

I ache — my whole heart aches — to spend time with Ari and — even I can’t believe this — but to do house-keeping and super domestic things nonstop. I want to spend my time raising my child and doing laundry; I want to help potty train him and do the dishes; I want to vacuum every day and have time to try to learn to cook. I want to be able to work just part-time; just enough to get my fill of adult conversation.

I also think it would make me happier if I was able to be that kind of mom who stayed at home with Ari. But I know that this is not in the cards for us; it’s not something that is financially possible. At least not at this time.

I just can’t believe I’m now this person. I can’t believe I judged working moms for feeling this way. I’ve verbalized this judgment over and over again before having Ari; and for that, I feel incredibly guilty.

A girl I work with has been known to say the same types of things that I used to say about not being able to even imagine NOT wanting to work. It took everything I had to bite my tongue. I knew my words were useless with her. She would never believe me. She would never believe how much a little person could change someone so much. She would never believe how I, the same person who never ever wanted to have a child, could have so drastically changed my outlook on childrearing.

I don’t know if there’s a purpose to this post other than to just put it out there into the universe. Maybe it’s so that I can keep focused on my main goal, which is to be in a position where I can spend my time focused on my family and our household. However, in the meantime, my family will always, always, be first. Chad and Ari are the only things that are important to me; everything else is secondary — everything else is replaceable. But those two? Irreplaceable. And they are my absolute everything.

Eating Clean // My 7-day Challenge

July 4, 2014 by Rachel 1 Comment

A few weeks ago I helped run a 7-day Clean Eating Challenge/Support Group on Facebook. I’ve been getting my own eating habits back on track and wanted to put together a group of people looking to jumpstart their own clean-eating habits!

We provided a meal plan with clean-eating guidelines as well as gluten-free and veg options! The rules were clear:

1. Use the group as support. 2. No alcohol + no soda.

That’s it! 🙂

… and we all totally rocked the challenge.

Bonus — the food was delicious!

(from top left: toasted spelt bread w/natural almond butter + bananas;
2 eggs, scrambled, w/2 egg whites & spinach;
rice pasta w/coconut oil, grilled chicken & steamed broccoli;
grilled turkey burger w/grilled asparagus)

The thing about starting to eat healthy is that once you start, you don’t really want to derail it in any way. But real life is NOT always clean-eating. That’s why it’s important to learn to make healthy-eating decisions versus sticking to a super duper strict diet all of the time (hence the animal frites!).

Here’s the trick: Do not use food as a reward. Food is fuel. On occasion, it’s OK to ‘indulge’ a bit; but don’t say “Well I ran 3 miles, I guess it’s OK if I eat this giant bowl of ice cream!”

That’s not the way it works. I WISH that was the way it worked. But in the game of losing weight, it’s 80% diet. So even with all of those extra workouts you’re getting? You still have to eat healthy.

At the end of the 7-day challenge, I was down three-pounds and and an inch around my waist. It’s not perfection, but it’s progress. And that’s what health & fitness are all about — progress!

Has anyone else done a clean-eating challenge?? What did you think at the end??

feel supremely happy //

February 6, 2014 by Rachel Leave a Comment

In an effort to live a more authentic life in 2014 and to do so happily, I’m sharing a list of some easy tips to serve as a reminder to myself (and to you!) on how GOOD it can feel to live in a way where you feel supremely happy!

Here’s what I’m focusing on right now:

Stop trying to impress other people.
Give/get at least one hug a day.

Control your reactions.
Feed a strangers expired parking meter.

Look people in the eye when you talk to them.
Learn something new.

Donate old clothes to the Salvation Army or Goodwill.
Give away your favorite book in an effort to share your love for it with others.

I’ll check back in in just a couple of weeks!

{creating vision}

January 11, 2012 by Rachel 3 Comments

2012. The year that would be awesome. If you envision it, you can believe it, right?

I believe that whatever goals or visions we have for our future are destine to happen. So last month when I was stressing and the before the holidays got into full swing, I got an email from Yoga Bliss about a Vision Board Workshop. And I was all about it.

I had never done a vision board before, but I was familiar with the concept:

Make your vision for 2012 tangible by using images and words to show what you want your future to look like.

And it just so happens that lately I’ve been doing a lot of thinking {and dreaming} about my future. Specifically, the next couple of years.

I have very specific ideas of how I want my almost immediate future to look. And very specific goals. So this workshop was right up my alley.

This weekend, the incredible Juli, of Yoga Bliss, led our workshop with an explanation of what vision boarding is, a 15-minute meditation, and then the constructing of our vision boards.

I had a fairly good idea of what my vision was for the upcoming year:

My goals are to:

– live in the present moment;

– not compare where I am in life to where everyone else is in life;

– to focus on being healthy in every way;

– which means to eat healthy,

– and practice yoga regularly;

– develop a deeper yoga practice;

– focus on eliminating useless financial stress;

– so that I am able to make the commitment of yoga teacher training {yay!};

– and further build upon the solid relationships I have in my life;

– by stressing choosing to not stress over situations beyond my control;

– and practicing self-compassion!

It’s liberating to be able to put this into the universe! It’s like saying “I not only CAN do this but I WILL do this!”

So mark my words, 2012: this year is the year of me! I am putting my visions into action.

And I must seriously thank the awesome people I have in my life:

– Chad: the one who always believes in me, even when I’ve lost the belief in myself!

– to my amazing yoga teachers: they may think students don’t listen; but we hang on every word and trust your judgment and believe in your guidance.

– to my fellow bloggers: the incredible sense of community you make me feel is inspiring!

writing it out: that time i started to journal.

January 4, 2012 by Rachel 5 Comments

Remember the days when we used to keep diaries? And then somewhere between elementary school and high school it turned into the art of journaling? — Which was just a more “mature” {ha!} way of saying “diary”?

Well, since then, I have dabbled here and there with returning to the whole journal thing. But I could never get it catch — or stop feeling like a diary.

But as part of my “2012: Journey to being a better me” odyssey {of sorts}, I’ve decided to start writing things down. I don’t feel comfortable calling it journaling… yet. So far I’m just writing down things to keep me on track with my goals.

And so far, it feels good.

I’m tracking exercise: what I’m doing and how I feel before and after. I’m tracking food: what I eat; how I’m feeling before and after; and when I eat it. and I’m tracking feelings: the good, the bad, and the ugly. And why.

I’m hoping that this process reminds me that I feel awesome after a workout, even though I may have felt blah beforehand; and to maybe realize that cutting out certain foods {ie. gluten, sugar and dairy} might actually make my stomach and body feel better; and by tracking how I’m feeling, I may be able to accept those feelings and quickly move on instead of dwelling on them.