a teething newborn is the absolute worst.

This post may contain affiliate links

Truth. I wouldn’t wish a teething newborn on anyone. Know what’s worse than a teething 6-month old? A baby that still does not have head and neck control, but is somehow popping teeth through; a baby that is just beginning to sleep longer than 2 hours a night, but is somehow popping teeth through; a baby that is just getting the hang of nursing, but is somehow popping teeth through their teeny, tiny, tender gums.

That, my friends, is the absolute worst. That is, in fact, what mommy nightmares are made of.

I’ll admit — we had it easy with Ari. I think I remember, like, one serious teething incident. But otherwise? Nothing. This time around is a whole other ballgame. She’s constantly cranky. Not normal cranky. Screaming cranky. It’s horrifying. Absolutely horrifying.

I want to die. But instead? I cry. Not one teething ring will work — they are too small to fit into her mouth. She is constantly drooling and sticking her hand in her mouth. A teething baby is completely bizarre to me — let alone a baby that barely even knows day from night!

We have an amber teething necklace, but it’s too big for her neck. Which is weird; because these necklaces are practically scary small.

Our world is currently a cluster of tylenol and hylands teething tablets. And I’m not sure either work. It. Sucks. No other words can describe it.

In other news, it appears that her colic is beginning to subside. You know, just in time for the teething rage to take over! Ha! It’s really not funny, but I have to find the humor in it or I will otherwise lose my mind!

Funny thing is, when we’re out in public, people will comment on her hair. It never fails. Someone will say “Just LOOK at all of her HAIR! How old is she!?” And I’ll say, “Ten weeks.” And I don’t just stop there. Nope. Parent oversharer here. I’ll continue to say, “And she’s already teething!”

As if to say, “Do you F’in believe my life right now?!” And I absolutely love Mommy strangers… because they DO get it. And they commiserate with me. No one wants to be the mom with the teething newborn.

One woman actually said, “Well at least she didn’t have teeth when she was born!” To which I actually thought … it might have been nice because she was also a nightmare in my womb and she might as well have had a full mouth of teeth the day she was born. Ha!

The one thing I can remind myself is the ONE thing I will never say to a brand new mom… and that is… that this moment will not last forever. Cause to a new mom knee-deep in colic/teething/sleep regression, they just don’t (and can’t) understand that.

Ahh, the wisdom of a second child. The understanding that I *will*, in fact, sleep again; Remy will sleep through the night; and someday in the distant future, I will stop smelling like spoiled milk.

So basically life with a newborn can be summed up by saying “it sucks, but I’ll survive.”