It’s here! It’s here! The end of my first trimester has come and gone! I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous every second of every day for the past 14 weeks. Despite never having had any serious complications with any of my pregnancies, there was something about finding out I was pregnant in the midst of Pregnancy Loss Awareness Month that really sent my heart racing.
Disclaimer: I in no way mean for this to sound insensitive — it’s simply the only way I know how to explain my thoughts and feelings.
Every single day I was inundated with social media posts and links to stories of friends, and friends of friends, pregnancy loss experiences. As much as I wanted to read them — I couldn’t bring myself to do so. I was terrified. I was terrified in knowing and accepting this as a possibility; I was convinced that I had been “too lucky” with previous pregnancies and that somehow I would end up a statistic as well; and I knew that simply reading about those experiences would send me down a never-ending path of further anxieties.
And I’m happy to report that I am healthy and have successfully entered into the 2nd trimester. ♥
It’s been a struggle. Certainly not quite as bad as my experience with Remy Bea, but definitely worse than it was with Ari. It’s managed to come and go. Unfortunately when it comes, it’s for about a week stretch at a time. Which is inconvenient, to say the least.
Over the last week or so I’ve felt significantly better than before. I’m hoping my nausea is beginning to subside so that I can feel okay enough to eat regularly again.
Speaking of eating, I’ve barely been doing so. I generally get really nauseous and hungry in the mornings, but by the afternoons I’m so sick and uncomfortable that it pains me to eat dinner. However, when hunger strikes, I’ve definitely been eating.
When cravings come they are for savory foods; not sweets. At one point during the thick of my nausea, I kept a running list of foods that sounded great, but that couldn’t be eaten at the time. They included: deviled eggs, bean burritos, sushi, salt and vinegar chips, orange juice, and toast. Weird, right? Definitely really, really, strange.
Poultry. Thanksgiving was difficult. My husband made a beautiful turkey… but after a few bites, I just couldn’t do it anymore. And, although I thought I was carving beef (similar to when I was pregnant with Ari — which makes some people think “boy!” again…), I really can’t seem to eat any of the meat I see cooked. Perhaps this whole pregnancy will turn me (back) into a vegetarian? We shall see.
Life with two littles.
This has been an incredible struggle thus far. I find myself itching to get back to work because, although I’m still very much with my children at work, I’m at least with other adults, too.
Isn’t it just like kids to go through an ‘attitude’ phase after you’ve jumped the gun to bring another life into the world?? I mean, no sooner did I find out I was pregnant than Remy Bea started acting like a tiny little terror. Sure, it might be the terrible two’s a bit early, but dang, I was not ready for this level of sass!
Perhaps it’s life with the other two, but after a morning of running around with them, I’ve had no choice but to take (near) daily naps. I try and try to be productive… but I just haven’t been able to stay awake long enough to do so. Thankfully, my husband understands that our frequent takeout and messy house is temporary and a product of first trimester exhaustion. This too shall pass? Fingers crossed!
Nope. It’s not happening. I decided pretty early on that I was going to fight the urge to find out the gender of this baby. With the previous two, there was no question in my mind — we were finding out the gender! I am/was way too anxious of a person to not find out.
But there’s something about this third baby — this baby we decided to try for, nearly on a whim. We have one boy and one girl. This baby will be our ‘tie-breaker.’ And not knowing it’s gender may help me through labor again. Just simply knowing there is a surprise — it may give me the push to, well, push!
So please, please, help me stay strong and not find out this baby’s gender. Cause it’s going to kill me. And everyday I’m going to want to change my mind. ♥ Ha!
Cheers to the second trimester!!