5 Lessons I’ve Learned In 1 Year as a SAHM //

May 23, 2017 in #MomLife,busy mom,children,domesticity,family,life,mommyhood,parenthood

Just over one year ago the decision was made for me to become a stay-at-home mom. Truthfully, I was terrified. I had lost my job at 9-months pregnant with our daughter, my second child, Remy Bea. I had an awful pregnancy full of illness and pain. I was terrified of suddenly being thrust into this new world — one without an office and timeclock.

Here we are one whole year later. I’ve been on both sides of the working world and what I have now is a whole new perspective. So here are my tips for a new SAHM:

1.  You will not make a homemade dinner every night. Heck, you will be lucky to make dinner one night of the workweek. Oh, and the laundry won’t be folded either. In fact, your to-do list will look worse than ever before. Things just pile up, sometimes literally (I’m looking at you, dishes!). Just make peace with the chaos. Take a few deep breaths and know that there is always tomorrow. Don’t sweat it.

2.  You will have a newfound respect for people who work in childcare, whether in a facility or in their home. When I was working full-time and had my son in childcare, I had no idea how hard it truly was to do all of the things necessary to take care of a baby or toddler all day. I just didn’t get it. Sure, I did it on the weekends and days off; but the day in and day out are an exhausting exercise of futility. Okay, that may be a tad dramatic; because we are raising awesome tiny humans. But you get what I mean.

3.  You will tune your children out. This was a hard pill for me to swallow. See, it always reminded me of a very ‘mom’ thing to do  — one that I just couldn’t imagine myself actually doing. But it happens. Heck, I’ve found myself automatically responding to my son, Ari, by saying “Yep just eat your food.” Except, he wasn’t eating. It was just my natural response to him so often that I just blurt it out randomly. Thanks in large part to my amazing ability to tune him out.

4.  You will find excuses to leave the house. Pro-tip: Never, ever, get everything you need for the week during a single trip to the store. Somedays you just need a reason to get out in public (even if that reason is to prevent yourself from screaming). Also, you will learn about all of the free and exciting things happening in your town. Because, well, free things are the best things to do with kids (and it gets you out of the house).

5.  You will stay up way later than you should, just to have a little time by yourself. Every day I wake up and say “I am going to go to bed so early tonight!” But then? Then I spend the day wiping booties and cleaning up spilled food. And I’m exhausted from taking care of tiny humans. So I stay up late and watch the Bachelorette and pay for it the whole next day. Aaaand the cycle continues.

With all of these lessons I’ve learned, the greatest lesson I’ve learned is that I am a damn good mom. Even when the s**t hits the fan; even when the kids are sick; even when the laundry isn’t done; and even when I pick up a rotisserie chicken for the 4th time in a week — I am a damn good mom. And whether you work outside of the home or in it, you are too!


 

And okay, a confession: I am only a kind of stay-at-home mom. See, I work part outside of the home about 25 hours a week, but I take both kids with me — and work with them! Yep. So I don’t really get a “break” from them. Does it still count? Yeah, I think so.


 

So tell me — if you’re a SAHM, what are some things you’ve learned on this journey? And working moms — tell us your tips to juggle it all!

{ 39 comments… read them below or add one }

Kathy May 23, 2017 at 7:35 am

Loved your post. My daughter can relate. I am going to send her your post:-)

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Theresa Bailey May 23, 2017 at 10:04 am

Oh so true, all of them! #5 is me all the time. LOL

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Catherine Short May 23, 2017 at 10:25 am

There are so many days where we just wonder around Target because I need to get out! HAHA. I work part-time also but when I’m home we alway have to get out.

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Holly May 23, 2017 at 11:35 am

I didn’t know you SAHM. I thought you worked and took your kids to childcare at your work or something.

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Rachel May 23, 2017 at 1:25 pm

I work part time outside of the home (I mention that at the bottom of the post) 😉 but they do come with me to work so I don’t get a break from them

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Erin Nicole May 23, 2017 at 1:23 pm

This is too perfect and the most accurate thing ever! I’ve been a SAHM for a little over 3 years now and boy, do all of those things resonate with me! I always tune my kids out haha and we always find things to do to get out of the house!

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jehava May 23, 2017 at 2:17 pm

I totally agree. I love that. I totally stay up way too late just have some “me time.”

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Heather Montgomery May 23, 2017 at 4:15 pm

People give me a hard time b/c my daughter goes to bed at 7:45, but I NEED that time away haha!

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Rachel May 24, 2017 at 10:55 pm

Yes, girl! Don’t let those people get to you! That’s OUR TIME! LOL!

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Meg May 23, 2017 at 4:33 pm

I identify with all of these, especially making sure to find reasons to leave the house. I go completely stir crazy when we stay home all day for several days in a row.

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Corey | The Nostalgia Diaries May 23, 2017 at 5:29 pm

I remember I always used to stay up late when I was on maternity leave just to have some time to myself. Looking back, I wish I would have slept. I remember feeling like a zombie! 🙂

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Leila May 23, 2017 at 6:20 pm

Oh yes!!! I really needed to read this today! Yes we are good moms, indeed!

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Jessica May 23, 2017 at 6:29 pm

Um yes to all of these. I can relate to every single thing listed here. Ha!

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Tayler Morrell May 23, 2017 at 7:47 pm

#1 and #4….that’s totally me! Also, you WON’T have more free time than you did working!

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Rachel May 24, 2017 at 10:54 pm

I don’t know WHY I thought I’d get more done… sighhh lol!

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jessica May 23, 2017 at 9:56 pm

i’m not a stay at home mom and i can relate to all of these!

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Chelsea Padgett May 24, 2017 at 12:16 am

Every morning my husband and I say we should go to bed earlier, and every night we still stay up to unwind… brutal cycle!

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Charissa | thenotsobusymomc May 24, 2017 at 8:46 am

#5. Always. Happy 1 Year at Home!!

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Jessica Kromer May 24, 2017 at 9:19 am

Ohmygosh, your kiddos are adorable! Thank you for sharing what you’ve learned! I can relate to all of these. You’re doing great, mama! <3

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Rachel May 24, 2017 at 10:54 pm

Thank you! <3

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Anmaria Djong May 24, 2017 at 10:20 am

haha..this is what I tell myself every day too, that I am gonna sleep early today and always end up late. I need “ME” time so badly after become SAHM. And I do make excuse to go out every now and then as well to keep my sanity. My kids love it and I am happier.

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Lane & Holly @ With Two Spoons May 24, 2017 at 12:30 pm

God bless those who can take care of children full time. I often leave my house headed to my super stressful full time job happy for the break I will get from my kiddos!

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Naya @ Lactivist in Louboutins May 24, 2017 at 2:03 pm

These are all very true for me, especially #5! I’m more productive after everyone has gone to bed.

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Marquita @LovetheLaniers May 24, 2017 at 2:07 pm

All totally true! LOL, I’m a homeschooler too, so trips to Target are seriously like mini vacations! I just wander around buying things I don’t need, usually for the friggin’ kids!!! And yes, you’re a damn good mom indeed, keep up the good work, mama!

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Alex May 24, 2017 at 2:14 pm

You are a damn good mom! I definitely find myself going to target everyday just to get out of the house. And I’m totally with you on the homemade dinner. I am for about 4x a week and I’m pretty proud if that happens!

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Stefanie May 24, 2017 at 4:16 pm

My To Do List is out of control and I completely agree with #5!!!

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Shannon Peterson May 24, 2017 at 7:26 pm

Oh my gosh, number 3 is so me too!

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April Kitchens May 24, 2017 at 8:00 pm

So true, dinner does not get made every night, nor does laundry get put away lol. Most nights I’d rather go to sleep than to bother with eating lol.

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Danielle @ A Sprinkle of Joy May 24, 2017 at 9:08 pm

So true about wanting to get out of the house!!

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Jenny May 24, 2017 at 9:26 pm

You are a darn good mom! Never doubt it even on those crazy rough days! Its been over decade and I still have to tell myself that!.

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Bridget May 24, 2017 at 9:27 pm

Great post! I do not have kids, but I DO know several SAHM’s.. and I KNOW they would agree with you on this! 🙂

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val May 24, 2017 at 10:30 pm

YES to all of these! I’ve also learned that comparison is the thief of joy 🙂

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Lindsey May 25, 2017 at 10:08 am

I loved this post and can totally relate!!! My goal is 3 homemade dinners per week with leftovers!

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Heydy May 25, 2017 at 2:14 pm

Agree to all 5 lessons you’ve learned. I’m DREADING being on MAT leave 🙁

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Joanna May 25, 2017 at 5:26 pm

“You will tune your children out.” YES!!! 100%.

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Rebecca Hicks May 26, 2017 at 11:21 am

I love your honesty in this post! I want to be a SAHM someday, and I feel like we can romanticize it sometimes… No “job”, chillin’ at home, taking care of your kids. But it’s work. It’s hard. And so so worth it!

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Kendel May 29, 2017 at 2:46 pm

Oh yes, this is so true! I can’t even. I haven’t got to the ‘tuning out’ stage because my son is only four months old, but I am finding every excuse under the sun to get out of the house/out of my town!

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Kate @ GreatestEscapist.com May 31, 2017 at 9:31 pm

Not a mom, but I love this post – and damn right, you’re a damn good mom!

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Laura June 2, 2017 at 10:35 am

I completely agree with the other comments. Hurray for you, for being sincere, and such a good mom. I am not a parent yet, but reading so much about it as I am pregnant with a baby boy coming later this November. I hope I can be half as good SAHM as you are for at least the first two years.

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