It must have happened gradually.
One recent morning I just looked at him and realized… he’s completely self-aware.
It makes me super giddy with excitement; but it also makes me a little sad.
Sure, being self-aware means he’s growing and learning and becoming this person! It means he’s developing and he’s cognitive of situations.
But it also means he is gaining the capacity to be nervous, anxious and self-conscious.
As someone who was ridiculous self-aware from a very young age and as someone who has dealt with these things since childhood, it definitely causes me (more) anxiety to think he may have to deal with them too.
For instance, all of this became apparent to me when Ari & I were watching a Disney Junior show on TV one morning. He just busted out and started dancing with his hands over his head and a huge smile on his face. It was the cutest and sweetest thing I’ve ever seen. So I called Chad into the room for a quick look.
As soon as Ari noticed that Chad & I were watching him (with amazement), he became super self-aware and shy. It seemed as if he was almost self-conscious about being watched. That’s when my heart started breaking. And that’s really when it clicked for me.
So yeah it makes me happy that he’s developing a strong personality, but how do I cope with the fact that he’s also (potentially/possibly) developing insecurities? Is this something that parents just have to learn to handle?? And why wasn’t this in the “What to expect” book!?? Ha!