Our Pregnancy Journey: Things are getting real.

October 2, 2012 in pregnancy

I admit it: It’s taken me a full nine months to accept that this pregnancy is real and will ultimately result in a baby. Like, a real life baby.

I spent the majority of the first trimester in paralyzing fear. When I finally ‘got over’ the surprise aspect of the pregnancy, the overwhelming anxiety took over. And one major question surrounded every waking moment: Is it too soon to be excited?

Most of the advice I had received during those fragile first weeks was, “Don’t tell too many people. You never know what might happen.

Ugh. First a surprise pregnancy? Then I try to accept it and get excited about this huge life change, but I’m not allowed?? Double ugh.

When I made it through my first teeny tiny bottle of prenatal vitamins, I hesitantly replaced it with a new big bottle of vitamins. The whole time I was thinking “I wonder if I’ll need this whole bottle.

I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop — like as soon as I allowed myself to really get excited about creating this new life, something bad would happen.

But it didn’t. And here I am. About to have a baby.

Even now with all of the changes that my body has gone through it’s hard for it to feel like I’m growing an actual person. In a way, I don’t think that this pregnancy will feel 100% real until the labor starts. Or maybe even until I’m holding my baby boy.

But I’m about to find out how real it can be. T-minus one-week until our due date!

{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

Stacy
Twitter: dixiebelldesign
October 2, 2012 at 7:36 am

you are getting SO close!!! can’t wait to see pics our your sweet baby boy! good luck with your last week, I hope you can sleep!

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Rachel October 2, 2012 at 9:51 am

Thanks!! ๐Ÿ™‚ I can’t wait either! Well, I can, but I can’t! HAHA!

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Rachel W October 2, 2012 at 9:34 am

Less than one week!!!! I can’t believe you’re so close!

And I know what you mean, it sort of has taken me 9 months to connect all these changes in my body and all the baby movement to an actual baby that will be here in 3 weeks. Such a weird feeling!

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Nicole October 2, 2012 at 10:04 am

Stumbled upon your blog from A Daily Dose of Davis. My baby was due October 9th last year, he just turned a year old on Sept 23rd! I read some of your pregnancy journey blogs & loved them. I had a very similar birth plan to yours. And I did it!! I made sure that my husband and nurse knew that I would need to be reassured constantly. There were a few times that I didn’t think I could do it (pushing mostly) but once I just gave in to “yes it hurts, just push this baby out!” and went for it, it was done! Best wishes to you! Oh, you might want to make sure your hospital has a lactation consultant. Mine didn’t & I had no idea until after my son was born! BF-ing was really tough for me (and continued to be until about week 8-9) but with the mindset that we would learn/figure it out, we got through and I am still nursing him! Again best wishes & I apologize for unsolicited advice from a stranger! ๐Ÿ™‚

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Rachel October 2, 2012 at 7:46 pm

Thank you for stopping by! ๐Ÿ™‚ And thank you SO much for sharing your story! It’s so great to know that others have gone through a similar birth and have survived! ๐Ÿ™‚ I’ve been nervous all day today (for whatever reason – today has been worse than usual – LOL). Luckily our hospital does have lactation consultants on staff. Thank goodness.

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Jen @ A Daily Dose of Davis October 2, 2012 at 11:18 pm

Honey I was the same way, with BOTH pregnancies!! And I hate to tell you…but the worry doesn’t stop after they are here. You are just as scared of something bad happening. But that’s just being a mom!!! We ALL worry and we ALL freak out. The first fever, the first runny nose, the first late night call to the pediatrician because of a rash…you feel like a crazy person. But that’s just love. Unconditional love ๐Ÿ™‚ You are going to be an AMAZING mama. I just can’t wait to see the first pics of that little guy!

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Rachel October 3, 2012 at 2:53 pm

It’s been hard coming to terms with the fact that I’m going to be a trainwreck worrying mess for the rest of my life. LOL.

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Gretchen October 10, 2012 at 5:07 pm

I can’t imagine how hard it must be to not tell people! I know I’ll be horrible at that when the time comes… I’m so excited for you to meet your little guy!

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