I admit it: It’s taken me a full nine months to accept that this pregnancy is real and will ultimately result in a baby. Like, a real life baby.
I spent the majority of the first trimester in paralyzing fear. When I finally ‘got over’ the surprise aspect of the pregnancy, the overwhelming anxiety took over. And one major question surrounded every waking moment: Is it too soon to be excited?
Most of the advice I had received during those fragile first weeks was, “Don’t tell too many people. You never know what might happen.”
Ugh. First a surprise pregnancy? Then I try to accept it and get excited about this huge life change, but I’m not allowed?? Double ugh.
When I made it through my first teeny tiny bottle of prenatal vitamins, I hesitantly replaced it with a new big bottle of vitamins. The whole time I was thinking “I wonder if I’ll need this whole bottle.”
I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop — like as soon as I allowed myself to really get excited about creating this new life, something bad would happen.
But it didn’t. And here I am. About to have a baby.
Even now with all of the changes that my body has gone through it’s hard for it to feel like I’m growing an actual person. In a way, I don’t think that this pregnancy will feel 100% real until the labor starts. Or maybe even until I’m holding my baby boy.
But I’m about to find out how real it can be. T-minus one-week until our due date!