totally awkward tuesday: hangnail or pregnant?

July 21, 2009 in totally awkward tuesday

This weeks edition of Tova’s Totally Awkward Tuesday is a little different for me. It’s not exactly one particular story. It’s like the story of my life (ok, being slightly dramatic I suppose).

So what is it about being in your mid-twenties that makes people assume that I must be pregnant every time I have an ache or pain? I mean, I have had severe food allergies (like a gluten allergy) for quite some time. It makes me ill. A lot. In the morning, afternoon, evening. Always. But it seems like every time I get a freakin’ hangnail, someone will say “maybe you’re pregnant.”

How about this. Maybe, just maybe… it’s just a hangnail. No?

It.Is.Annoying. Just yesterday one of my (female) co-workers noticed that I was taking frequent restroom breaks. She said “You know, you have to pee a lot when you’re pregnant.”

I replied with, “You know, you also have to pee a lot when you drink 8 huge glasses of water a day.” Just a thought.

So besides it being super annoying, it also freaks me out. While someday (a long, long time from now) I would like to have a child (notice I said a child. as in only one please), now is not that time for me. I am not ready at this point in my life. The rebuttal for this seems to be “it’s never a good time,” or “that’s what I thought when I had my precious angel,” but really, I am going to spend some time without an 18 to 20 year commitment for a while first.

So the next time I:
– look like crap or that I’ve had a rough morning;
– complain I have a stomach ache or say I feel sick;
– get up to go to the restroom;

please, please, please, hold your tounge. There is no need to tell me I might be pregnant. Just because I’m a young, healthy, female with a boyfriend does not mean I am itching to have a little one, nor does it mean that I’m fertile enough to get knocked up (Oh yes, I said knocked up) from a suggestive stare in my direction.

Please and thank you!

{ 27 comments… read them below or add one }

Winna July 21, 2009 at 12:18 pm

I totally sympathize and it is awkward every time someone makes one of those comments! My husband and I do not plan on having kids at all (obviously, I might change my mind, but outlook not good). People have been making these comments to me since I was 16. 16!!!! ugh! We should start a club haha

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amandaliveswell July 21, 2009 at 1:04 pm

THANK YOU. This needed to be said! I am right there with you. …Also, who SAYS things like that?! Probably the same people who give backhanded compliments. Rar!

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Melissa July 21, 2009 at 1:33 pm

Thank you! That really does get old! I get that all the time! So annoying!!

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Valerie {Next to Heaven} July 21, 2009 at 1:39 pm

I'm with you! Mine's on a slightly different level though as my husband and I have been married for about a year so we constantly get asked…”when are y'all having kids?” or how about “are you trying?”

No! God. Can't a woman enjoy being married to her husband?

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Fidgeting Gidget July 21, 2009 at 1:55 pm

I've got one for you….

Someone at work (a guy, which is even worse) randomly asked me last week if he could be nosy and congratulate me on my baby. Wha? I'm not pregnant! I told him that, and he goes, “Are you sure? Your body has changed a lot in the last few months.” My response was, “Yeah, it's because I like to eat a lot and drink beer.”

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Julie Dunlap July 21, 2009 at 1:56 pm

I don't know if the thought of being pregnant terrified me more in my early 20's or now that I'm in my late 30's and have four kids. People are just nosy and will always try to diagnose you with something!!

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JW.BW July 21, 2009 at 2:06 pm

I totally know what you mean!! Especially being in the NAVY male bosses tend to freak out about pregnancy all the time! I am waiting to deploy so my boss always gets crazy when I go see my husband, he always says “DONT COME BACK PREGNANT”, so for about a week when I return to work I pretend that I'm super naucious all the time, run to the bathroom with my hand over my mouth and talk about crazy cravings just for funsies. I swear I have given my boss a few more grey hairs. Jouvinile yes, but it is highly entertaining. I know, I need a hobby!!!

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Lil' Woman July 21, 2009 at 2:08 pm

Amen sister! : )

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Southern Champagne Wishes July 21, 2009 at 2:49 pm

That is so funny! People can be so inappropriate. We were talking about this at work the other day and all agreed that you should never, under any circumstances, ask someone if they're pregnant. If they are, believe me they'll tell you. Better to not have your foot in your mouth. I can sympathize.

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Meandering Mel July 21, 2009 at 2:52 pm

Ugh, I hear you. Two of my older sisters are preggars, and my mom keeps asking me if I have “anything I need to tell her.” I'm 22 for crying out loud! How can I possibly be responsible enough to squish something out of my va-jay-jay and then nurture it for 20 years?!
No thank you! (Wow, what a rant, sorry! I really like your blog! Hehehe)

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~**Dawn**~ July 21, 2009 at 3:06 pm

It just gets worse. I may deck the next person who asks me when I'm getting married because I need to get started on kids before time runes out. After all, I am closing in on 33 & the clock's a-ticking! Not getting any younger! O.M.G!!

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HRH July 21, 2009 at 3:39 pm

i used to work with 99% women and they would do the same thing! it was almost embarrassing bc they know you arent married and it was super frowned on that i even LIVED with my fiance before marriage – so i was shocked when they would drop the “P” bomb on me all the time! geez – give it up! just get a shirt that says “NO im not pregnant”

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Valerie at City|Life|Eats July 21, 2009 at 4:10 pm

You know, reading that has made me REALLY happy that my last several jobs men outnumbered women.

I am sorry you have to deal with issues of gluten intolerance. I have several friends with Celiac's and they all said they first few months are the worst. 🙁

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gorrión July 21, 2009 at 5:31 pm

I KNOW! I don't even have a boyfriend and people ask me all the time when I'm going to have a baby. How about a couple of years after I'm married, AFTER I find a good guy… Gosh, what's the rush?

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~M~ July 21, 2009 at 7:46 pm

Ugh, if a girl is between 20-35 people always jump to pregnancy!!

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Brown Girl July 21, 2009 at 8:09 pm

OMG, try working at my office with all the old folks. I think they have meetings about when I will get pregnant and what they will name my child. Gah!!!

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Jen July 21, 2009 at 9:19 pm

Good for you! I may have been one of those people wishing pregnancy on people, but that was BEFORE I had two kids before I was even 27. Now I tell all young girls to wait as long as possible. Parenting really is a lot harder than you can ever prepare yourself for (but also more wonderful than you can imagine as well).

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Raine July 22, 2009 at 1:22 am

Agreed!! God forbid that I get a little nauseous here or there. I havent even the oppertunity to get pregnant and I dont need to be reminded. I feel your pain, sister.

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Mrs EyeCanSee July 22, 2009 at 1:27 am

When I get this ridiculous comment I uaually say, “Pregnant? Probably so. Gosh, better throw myself down the stairs to nip this one in the bud” It usually shuts people up pretty fast. My mother however, didn't find it so amusing.

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Gwen July 22, 2009 at 2:53 am

I work with mostly male engineers and they are totally weird about it too. They will just come out and ask if I'm pregnant. Like I look extra large or something. Best was when I bought diapers during lunch as a baby shower gift. One guy walked by my car and saw it. Next thing I know I had 10 emails telling me congrats. That was a long day. LOL!!! XOXO

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. July 22, 2009 at 6:52 am

Word to that!

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The Little Jewelry Box July 22, 2009 at 1:49 pm

hahaha! If I call any of my friends twice in a row..for instance if I have a really funny story to tell them…they will call back and be like….OH MY GOSH YOU ARE PREGNANT AREN”T YOU!!!??

No. No, I am not…. LOL

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Lara July 22, 2009 at 2:04 pm

LOL, you make me laugh, but I totally understand where you're coming from.

I work with a lady that turns to me and says “such and such has been going to the toilet a lot today; she must be pregnant”. It does my head in.

Sometimes I've even gone “guess what?” and she'll say “you're pregnant!”

Uhh… no.

I hate how people assume that because you're of the right age, you're in a relationship, and you pee; you must be harboring a baby.

And I hate that people assume that that's all you want from life. I am a person; not a breeding machine.

I know we're TTCing soon, but we've heard this from our parents for years. Sometimes you just want time to live a bit first.

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Summer Wind July 22, 2009 at 3:46 pm

hahah this is too funny!

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TheAnalyst July 26, 2009 at 4:55 pm

Ugh! I hate the pregnant comments too! Fortunately, I think most people have realized this from my not so nice looks that I give them. God forbid you don't want a child when you are in your 20s. Sometimes, I feel like we are reversing time again.

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TheAnalyst July 26, 2009 at 4:55 pm

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TheAnalyst July 26, 2009 at 4:55 pm

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