on my mind

July 31, 2009 in life,reality

Earlier this week BF and I went to go see the movie The Ugly Truth. It was cute. I laughed. It was vulgar at times, but that’s part of what made it so funny. But I ended up crying near the end and ended up being really quiet for the rest of the evening. Why? Because it’s sometimes depressing to think about the fact that fairy tales do not exist.

We grow up and we are taught that all of life is romanticized. It isn’t. When you realize that life is not a romantic comedy, it is depressing. There will never be that moment where I am swept off my feet. Logically, I understand that. However, the little girl still living deep, down inside me would like to think that maybe… just maybe… it will happen.

Don’t get my wrong, BF is great. Amazing, actually. But to have an image of a Disney-like relationship is misleading. And if you live your life only looking for this you will be disappointed.

So what I’m saying is… I’m done with romantic comedies. They overwhelm my brain and heart.

But who knows… Maybe dreams really do come true.

{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }

Valerie at City|Life|Eats July 31, 2009 at 6:19 pm

You know, I got sick of romantic comedies for similar reasons – they just dont feel real anymore. The really good ones (I am thinking mainly of Nora Ephron ones) dont have quite that same issue with me, but so many just seem to work with a formula etc, and life is just not every going to be like that.

Thank you for commenting so often on my blog. I so appreciate it.

Perhaps this idea that is not romanticized could be your pearl of wisdom? I would love it if you submitted one πŸ™‚

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ashley-cita July 31, 2009 at 7:04 pm

I dunno, cookie. I feel like The Husband sweeps me off my feet at least once a week… maybe the gestures aren't in the grand Hollywood tradition, but does he do things for me that still make my heart go pitter-patter? Absolutely!

I was a cold-hearted cynic before him, though, so maybe not ever having expectations of finding romance is what made the difference for me.

Everyone deserves a grand love like that, I think.

PS- this does not mean that he never drives me positively batty, because he does that at least once a week, too! lol.

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aphrodite2 July 31, 2009 at 7:27 pm

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Brandi July 31, 2009 at 7:30 pm

Hmmmm. We are going to see this movie tonight. Maybe I should warn my husband in advance? LOL.

Actually, I have to agree with Ashley-cita. I used to be a “cold-hearted cynic” as well (after having high expectations and being SORELY disappointed). So compared to what I've had (or not) before, my husband sweeps me off my feet on a regular basis, even if it's not in pure Disney fashion.

Movies, magazines, the media in general…they all give us an unrealistic view of life. I guess it's all about taking lessons where we can, and otherwise doing whatever it is in our lives that works best for us. πŸ™‚

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Rachel July 31, 2009 at 7:31 pm

Oh he definitely does things that make my heart pitter-patter!! I get butterflies often.

I just think that the disney-like romance is nonsense. That's all! πŸ™‚

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Lil' Woman July 31, 2009 at 8:05 pm

Me and Big Man decided not to even go see that, we feel like we already know the whole story…
-they hate each other
-they help each other
-they fall for each other
The End!

Am I right?

Most romantic comedies get on my nerves cause they dont really portray real life..The day Big Man (who is a wonderful man) stands outside my window holding up a boombox ala 'Say Anything' will be the day I die! πŸ™‚

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Summer Wind July 31, 2009 at 8:17 pm

I agree.. all of these movies make life and relationships out to be something that just isn't attainable, and if it is, please show me where I can find it!

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Lara July 31, 2009 at 8:30 pm

It's possible to catch yourself in a Disney style “happy ending”, but of course, your ending isn't really here until the final curtain, is it?

Right now, my life is next to perfect. But what's to say things are going to continue like this? Realistically, we all have to work at life.

I think it's hard to look for the one big “happy ever after”, and you should just look for those perfect moments where the birds are singing and the sky is blue.

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Lara July 31, 2009 at 8:30 pm

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HRH July 31, 2009 at 8:40 pm

agreed girl! agreed. but i still think you can find your own teeny tiny fairy tale moments that happen in every day life that you DONT see in disney movies or romantic comedies bc its those special moments that only you and your bf share and noone else! they are YOUR fairy tale moments πŸ™‚

happy friday!

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Mrs OMG Pregnant July 31, 2009 at 8:51 pm

Im with you on this…

If it were all so true than why are some days so very hard even if I am madly and love and happy.

Still, it could be a lot worse πŸ™‚

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JW.BW August 1, 2009 at 1:43 pm

I do believe in happy endings and being swept off my feet. But I think everyone's expectation of how this should FEEL is different. When I'm with my husband I feel different than I have ever felt before. He def sweeps me off my feet by doing the tiniest little things that just mean so much to me. Its NOT a fairy tale by any means, we do have trouble at times but I think our struggles make us a better team. He is my prince charming for sure!!

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Margarita August 1, 2009 at 1:45 pm

Movies only show the good side of romance (usually)…. but I still adore romance comedies… I'm a romantic at heart. I understand my bf may not always be doing grand gestures like those boys on tv…. but I don't expect him too.

BTW My bf IS Gerard Butler in that movie. That's who I live with….

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Molly August 1, 2009 at 4:00 pm

I am a sucker for all romantic comedies. I think that it is just a little escape. A little dream. It may not really exhist, but it is fun to pretend, right?
I can say that I did feel very Disney fairy taleish at my wedding. It was a magical day! πŸ™‚

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Simply Valorie August 1, 2009 at 5:08 pm

I totally agree with you on Disney romances — they're fake and superficial and never happen. and don't even get me started on Twilight. But I actually liked The Ugly Truth because it didnt seem very fairy tale like to me. She was dating the wrong guy for all the wrong reasons and it took a lot of honesty and conflict before she realized who she really wanted. And he wasn't exactly prince charming, you know? I don't know, maybe that's just me. πŸ™‚

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~**Dawn**~ August 1, 2009 at 7:05 pm

Hollywood & real life happy endings exist on completely different planes. I have twice thought I was going to get my Hollywood fairy tale. Twice, I have been given a healthy dose of cruel reality. Now I believe that we create our own happy endings. Our fairy tale is up to us to define. I remember being struck by the character of Charlotte on S&TC. Her “prince charming” didn't come in the package she envisioned. He was just…himself. And ended up being so much more than she could have dreamed up on her own. In the movie, she says, in reply to the question of how often she is happy: “Every day. Not all day every day, but every day.” That really resonated with me. I think the real fairy tales come when we realize that real life isn't perfect, it doesn't come with a Hollywood script & it's rarely what we plan it to be. It comes when we embrace the imperfections & still appreciate & find joy in all that we have. Give me a real life happy ending any day.

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~M~ August 1, 2009 at 11:02 pm

I've heard the plot is very predictable.

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jackie August 7, 2009 at 1:52 am

i came along your blog to enter your starbucks contest i saw on twentysomething bloggers, but im glad i came.. i completely relate to this entry, and i saw the movie as well.. i think sometimes i still get upset and worried because until recently i havent fully accepted the truth, that those fairytale perfect happily ever after endings really arent there…but we all make our own happiness..and i guess thats what REALLY does matter in the 'end'

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