Let me start by saying, I love my job. I love what I do. I’m only twenty-four years old and I have been with the same company for four years. I love what I do. I love the company. End of story. Almost.
I am finding it very difficult recently to do my job effectively. I am surrounded by a team of people who are intended to be my support structure. I feel like my support structure is a single ply piece of toilet paper that I am standing on with one foot over shark infested waters. Seriously.
My current position with my company is a stepping stone to much greater things. We all have to work our way there, and I realize this. But I am THISCLOSE to giving up. The team that I have so desperately wanted to be a part of is now disgusting me in every way, so that I want no part in it at all.
I know that I can be emotional sometimes, but I cried my eyes out during work today. I did not cry because I was angry or because things were not going my way. I cried because I felt lost. I felt alone in a room full of co-workers. I felt like the people that I trusted were using me.
No one should ever feel this way about their job. Especially when they put their heart, soul, and energy into what they do.
This being said:
I believe I have a phone interview for a new position early next week (in, guess where).
In the meantime, I will be focusing my time in energy in reading tonight and falling asleep (semi) early so that I can make it to power yoga in the morning (there’s nothing like 90-minutes of sweating your booty off on a Saturday morning).